In a world increasingly tense and with international relations more uncertain than ever, it is key that we review how we all get on with each other.

Change however begins in our daily lives and if we improve the one to one relations with all the people around us, ultimately relationships on a global level will also improve.

I have therefore decided to share with you excerpts from my book “Get the Life you Love and Live it” (Amazon UK /Amazon USA ) ) about this very topic. In the following excerpts I share thoughts about improving your relationships. At the end of my article, I will also suggest some actions for you to carry out. By doing so, I can guarantee that you will improve your relationships with all the people in your life. Now how wonderful is that?

Ultimately, to get and live the life you love, you want to have great relationships with everyone in your life.

People will come and go, but their impact and their essence remains with you forever. Every person has a “gift” for you – a lesson – ask what you can learn and receive in each relationship.

Some people you meet have so much love in them you can feel it in their presence and see it in their eyes. They simply cannot do enough for you. I have been lucky enough to have such a friend who is also a homeopath whom I see regularly. She is one of the most loving persons I have ever met and her presence in my life continues to be a gift for others and me.

Once I was involved with a project that ultimately failed to get off the ground. I realized afterwards that there was a lot of negativity surrounding some of the people involved, and though the project was abandoned, I was blessed with some new friends as a result. One of them ended up editing my book!

I have always been able to connect very easily and quickly with all types of people and creating great relationships, friendships and also business partnerships. I have now finally realized that I get on so well with others because I look to see how I can help and support them both at a conscious and subconscious level.

Also, I am very open and honest in my dealings. People seem to get this and this leads to truly harmonious relationships with almost everyone in my life now.

Of course this was not always the case and in the past I have had my fair share of fallouts. Only recently I had a major misunderstanding with a friend to the point that we deleted each other’s contact details. Then two months later, she called me out of the blue and we gave each other the grace to clear up the air between us. Our friendship has now resumed and is stronger than before due to this clarification.

The key is to know that people really appreciate honesty and openness in relationships. Always be true to your word and tell it how it is for you. Speak the truth directly and authentically.

This doesn’t however, mean being brutally rude. It is important to also be respectful of other people’s feelings and opinions. Be tactful as appropriate to the situation.

Show your appreciation in all areas of your life. Keep a count of the number of times you say “thank you” every day and keep increasing. Say your thanks genuinely and wholeheartedly to your partner, colleagues, and family; and especially to all those strangers who do so much to make your life convenient and easy, such as shop assistants, the postman and the dustman.

Listen to other people. The greatest gift you can give people is your undivided attention. Practice your listening skills, focus completely on that person and be present. When people are talking to you, stop what you are doing, look straight at them and avoid distractions and interruptions. Your undivided attention tells the other person that you genuinely value them.

Be interested in other people. The emphasis here is on being interested rather than ‘interesting’. Be genuine about this and do not fake it.

Make other people feel important, show everyone that they count and raise their self esteem. By doing so, you will raise your own self esteem too.

Don’t take things personally. What anyone says or does to you is merely a reflection of their own reality. Become immune to what others say and do when it’s negative or hurtful. See it as a gift to you and an opportunity for you to help them.

Stop criticising yourself and others. Criticism can be so demoralizing and destructive for adults and children alike. Become aware of how you speak to the people you care about, and recognize when you are being critical. Ask people for genuine and open feedback about your habits of criticism and be big enough to change your ways.

Truly empathize with other people. Start to listen and understand their point of view. This will help avoid arguments and save you from draining your energy. Anytime you are in a tricky situation, put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself how you would like to be treated. Remember the old saying – do unto others what you would have done to you.

Stop dumping on others. Do not relieve your own stress by taking it out on someone close to you - this does not help either of you.

Focus on changing yourself - accept and realize that you cannot change anyone else. If a situation bothers you so much, then change it or change your attitude to it. It is all about you and what you bring to any relationship.

Do not make assumptions about other people and situations. Communicate clearly, so as to avoid misunderstandings and conflict. Ask for clarification anytime you are not clear about something. Speak up even if you feel you might sound stupid or naïve – better to be clear now than to have a fall out later. The other person will appreciate where you are coming from.

Stop gossiping about others as it will inevitably come back to you, and affect your relationships. Assume that anyone you are talking about can hear what you are saying about them. Learn to only say good things about others – by this doing this one thing alone, your relationships will soon improve.

Assess where improvement is needed in your relationships, and get committed to improving them, as you get and live the life you love.

Now here are some actions for you to improve all your relationships:-

Having read some of my insights above, I now invite you to spend some time reflecting on your life and working through the actions below. I suggest you get a notepad and start writing down your thoughts and also ideas of what you will do to improve your relationships.

It is not enough that you just read these articles – you do have to take some action and commit to bringing about change in your life. You will be glad you have done so as almost immediately you will notice the relationships with all the people in your life improving quickly.

If necessary, read the above article again and then work through these action points.

1. Review your relationships and assess where improvements can be made. Can you identify any patterns?

2. List up to ten ways you can start improving the relationships in your life.

3. Think of five people in your life, with whom you would like to improve your relationship.

4. List five things you will do in the next seven days, to improve your relationships with these people.

5. Write down what you did and how the relationship improved.

Well done and good luck:-)