Have you ever suffered great sadness?

Has life dealt you such a blow that you wondered if you’ll ever recover?

Every day we face so many challenges in our daily lives which can knock us out of our stride and daily routine.

Yet in the greater scheme of things, what most of us consider to be a challenge is usually nothing!

So what if your train to work was late or you got stuck in traffic on your way to an “important” meeting!?

What I am talking about here is life changing events and challenges that we sometimes face.

For example, in the last few weeks, I have had a friend losing her elderly mother after a long illness during which she lost most of her faculties. It was so painful for my friend to see her mother deteriorate like this  – she felt so helpless and sad as nature took its course.

Another friend I saw over Xmas after a year, has just made a full recovery from a serious illness after a year’s intense treatment. During that time she became a hermit and cut communications with most people and it was heartening to see her looking so good and healthy.

And today, I received a very moving and yet heart-warming email from a friend whose newly born baby boy is seriously ill and faces a number of operations.

I have often written here on my blog about making the most of our life and our time on this planet. And I have also talked about how there’s always a brighter side to everything and how we should always try and be positive.

A while ago I wrote about how to suffer excruciating pain and live again.

The point is this – life can be so tragic and yet so inspiring and uplifting.

What is the greater meaning behind all this suffering and pain?

If you believe in a greater power – god, source, energy, universe or whatever you choose to call it – why does this greater power allow such things to happen!?

I always remember the closing line in this famous story about baseball kids allowing a physically challenged boy called Shay to join their game and hit the winning run.

At the end of that story, Shay’s father says with tears rolling down his face -

‘That day ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.

So this is really what it is all about.

Your life and mine is all about bringing a piece of true love and humanity into this world.

Period. Nothing else matters.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

A few weeks ago, Caroline McGraw, a friend from the other side of the pond sent me details of her new book called Love’ Subversive Stance – Ground Yourself & Grow in Relationship.

The book is all about growing in love in all our relationships. And surely, at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Caroline writes so beautifully about her relationship with her younger brother Willie who has autism and is considered by the world to have an “intellectual disability”.

On her blog, Caroline writes about finding meaning in our most challenging relationships and in her book she outlines how when we love someone with an intellectual disability, that loving changes us.

Her book teaches us about how we can truly learn about ourselves through our relationships – and the end result is we become a better and more loving person. And the whole world is a better place:-).

We are not who we once were and we are ready for more.

“The grace of God means something like:
Here is your life. You might never have been, but
you are because the party wouldn’t have been
complete without you.”
~Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

At the end of the day, this is what it really comes down to – we humans are such powerful beings and we are capable of facing any heart- rending challenges.

We can face and overcome anything – and best of all we are capable of showing such deep and intense compassion and kindness that it breaks one’s heart (if that’s ever possible since our hearts are SO big).

The take way from this post is this – part of the human condition is to suffer heart-rending pain, go through the loss of loved ones and face umpteen other challenges in the course of our lives.

Ultimately we get to discover who we really are!

And the moment we dare to be vulnerable and we reveal our true selves, the journey becomes easier and indeed even joyful.

I wish all of you well on this amazing journey of life.

Check out Caroline’s book here.

Please Help to Spread the Word

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1. Let your Inner Beauty Blossom
2. Why There Are No Ordinary People – Just Look for Their Greatness
3. Why Youth is No Barrier to Greatness

So this is Christmas!

How are you enjoying it so far?

There’s no doubt that Christmas is a time of mixed emotions and feelings.

For some people this is a time of great joy and delight, with lots of partying and sharing of delicious food and gifts with people you love.

For others it can be a very stressful time with gifts to buy, lots of cooking to do and having to cope with large family gatherings.

It can also be a time of tremendous stress and pressure to conform.

For many people today, Christmas is a time that brings up challenges that their normal life tends to hide. It can expose a deep loneliness, and conversely for others, it highlights an overwhelming desire to be alone, away from people.

Add the constant pressure from the media to splurge out on things you don’t need nor want and the spectre of credit card bills in January. Suddenly Christmas becomes something to survive rather than enjoying.

Christmas is also a time when we tend to embark on a review of the past year – and this is fine if you can use it to bring new inspiration and energy to create exciting possibilities. However, these yearly reviews tend to hover over what we haven’t done and what we feel hasn’t worked.

With all of this in mind, I have got together with my friend Davide De Angelis aka The Money Shaman, and created a really special gift for you this Christmas:-

“The Money Shaman’s Guide to Thriving Christmas”

The aim of this very special 52 page guide is to give you some amazingly powerful ideas to ensure that you THRIVE Christmas instead of struggling to survive it.

Moreover the ideas contained in this guide will open you to the possibility of 2012 being an extraordinary year for you – your most powerful and inspiring year yet.

Here’s what this guide contains:-

1. Question Your Complaints
2. How to Make This Christmas Your Best Ever
3. Time not Money is the most precious gift
4. How Not to Be Lonely This Christmas
5. It’s Fine to Say No Thanks…When You Know How To
6. How to End This Year on a High
7. Know what you truly value
8. How to make next year your BEST year ever
9. Explore Compassion and Forgiveness from a Radically Different Viewpoint
10. Love is All That Matters

The Money Shaman’s Guide to Thriving Christmas is totally FREE and is our way of thanking you for being part of this growing community of abundance.

Download your Free Guide now

Please feel free to share this with everyone as you wish. Help transform other people’s Xmas and New Year as well as yours!

I wish you the most spectacular Christmas ever and a miraculous and healthy New Year.

Help to Spread the Word

Related posts:

1. Make this Christmas your Best Ever.
2. Is it Christmas Already?!
3. One Thing You Must Learn from Scrooge this Christmas Day
4. How Not to Be Lonely This Christmas

As the world settles down later this month week to celebrate Christmas Day, just what will you be doing?

Like so many people around the world, will you be spending it with your families and loved ones? Or will you be on your own?

Firstly, let’s acknowledge just how big a thing Christmas has become around the world with even people from other faiths treating this as a day for getting together with family & friends and having a good time.

Like it or not, Christmas Day despite its religious connotations, has become a day for partying, eating, drinking and having a jolly good time (in theory at least) with other people.

At the same time, there will also be many people on their own this Christmas. Some of these people may wonder what all the fuss is about around whilst others may feel they are missing out.

Christmas is clearly a wonderful time for families. But it is also a time when the suicide rate shoots up as it seems to really impact people who are on their own and feel that nobody seems to care about them.

Personally, I feel that there is so much media hype about being with loved ones and friends that you are made to feel there is something “wrong” if you are not spending Christmas Day with other people.

If you are going to be on your own this Christmas, I challenge you to reflect on this question:-

Is it really that bad to be on your own on Christmas Day?

Here are some suggestions for making the most of being on your own this Christmas:-

1. Get clear why you are on your own

A lot of time on Christmas Day people are on their own for practical reasons such as being too far away to travel to visit their family or they have required to work on that day. There are also circumstances such as a relationship break-up or a bereavement that could mean a solitary Christmas.

So the first thing to be aware of is just why are you alone?

2. Be thankful to be away from family

Despite all the hype, not everyone who is with their families and loved ones is actually having a fabulous time!

Whether it is Christmas or not, not all families are all happy and jolly families. Every family has disagreements and fallouts and being in close proximity for a few days around Christmas time is guaranteed to bring forth any discord and simmering issues.

You may want to consider it a good thing that you are on your own this Christmas!

So if you are alone, be thankful, you have complete control over the remote control and can eat all of the chocolate yourself in peace:-)

3. Enjoy being on your own

I remember when I broke up after a long term relationship and I chose to be on my own for Christmas Day. Though it was a strange feeling, looking back it was also quite therapeutic.

I actually enjoyed being on my own and the peace and quiet. You can do the same.

Plan your meals and some entertainment such as TV – you can even cook for yourself and celebrate with some champagne if that is your thing. Create an occasion just for yourself.

At the same time, do telephone some friends and family members. Perhaps even invite a neighbour to pop in.

4. Find other people on their own and arrange your own Xmas day festivities

If you are likely to stay at home and wallow in self-pity since you are alone, then don’t! Instead take charge and arrange your own Christmas day festivities.

In a large city like London, there are many other single people spending Christmas on their own, but wherever you are, there will be people on their own just looking for an opportunity to connect with others.

Arrange your own Christmas dinner or throw a spontaneous party. You can of course use social media websites such as Facebook and Twitter to conjure up your own impromptu get together. Or check out some MeetUp groups in your area.

Of course be selective about who you invite and be very clear and specific about what your guests should bring or not bring. The party doesn’t have to be at your home – it could be some hotel.

And don’t offer to cook for everyone! If you are hosting, then ask everyone to bring a dish and a drink. Check what everyone’s bringing and co-ordinate otherwise you may end up with tonnes of brussels sprouts!

5. Call some friends and get invited to their celebration

If you are going to be on your own, then let others know that this is the case. Ask friends what they are doing – and let them subtly know you are going to be on your own.

People are quite generous with sharing their families and Christmas festivities – give them a chance to do so.

Of course do take along a gift or a food dish – and let them know in advance of your dietary restrictions if any.

I remember one time when I was invited to a Christmas dinner, and my friends had to quickly rustle up some roast potatoes and salad for me. I had incorrectly assumed they knew I was vegetarian. So make no assumptions and don’t be shy about letting them know your dietary needs.

6. Do something to help others this Christmas

One of the best things you can do if you are alone around Christmas time is to help others.

For example you can help out at a soup kitchen, visit an old people’s home or be available for callers at a crisis support center. Through your efforts, you will positively impact quite a few lives.

A few years ago I an amazing day delivering Christmas food hampers and gifts to needy families in London. It was a truly humbling experience and I shall always remember the awe, wonder and sheer joy on the faces of little children whose Christmas had just been changed dramatically.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer up others! If you ever get a chance to do something similar, please take it up.

I felt that I was a better human being than I had been the day before.

The point is that it takes so little to make a difference to others. People may be going through “difficult” times and yet they have so much dignity, love and humanity in them. And to see the innocence, hope and beauty on the faces of the children affected just breaks your heart.

‘Everyone can be great, because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace – a soul generated by love’ - Martin Luther King Jnr

No matter what happens this Christmas, know that only you can give yourself what you want in terms of happiness and joy.

A person can feel really lonely even if they have lots of people around them. Or they can feel completely fulfilled and content even if they are on your own.

So if you happen to be spending this Christmas on your own, look for all the good that will come out of this.

Look for the positive lessons from this experience, see it as part of your personal growth and be thankful for having had this opportunity for some “me-time”.

Happy Christmas everyone.

Help to Spread the Word

(This article was previously featured on GoodLife Zen).

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2. Make this Christmas your Best Ever.
3. One Thing You Must Learn from Scrooge this Christmas Day
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Happy Thanksgiving Day everyone!

I hope that you are having or you have had a wonderful day with your loved ones.

Thanksgiving Day is a tradition that’s now getting established more and more in London and other parts of the UK.

Personally I feel it’s a great idea to have one day of the year when we are thankful and we celebrate all the good things in our life.

I have previously written about cultivating an attitude of gratitude  – and today I invite you to get back into this way of being. And not just for today but everyday from now onwards.

Various spiritual masters teach us the importance of gratitude and being grateful for what we have.

Conversely, the law of attraction experts emphasise how we should spend our time in a state of gratitude so as to attract even more “good” things in our life – it is as if a higher power up there will appreciate your thankfulness and thereby send you more of the same!

I suggest that you be truly grateful without any expectations of more – it’s a feeling you can’t fake anyway.

Look back and remember a time when you felt truly grateful and thankful for something or someone. Maybe it was the sight of a stunning sunset, the touch of a lover, the laughter of a child. Or something someone did for you which just blew you away.

We can be grateful for the smallest gifts or something majestic. It is about connecting with something greater than us.

The point is that you don’t to be thankful just on a particular Thursday of a certain month. Why not be grateful every day of the year?

The ideal is to constantly live in a state of gratitude.

Now wouldn’t that be something! Maybe that’s what being enlightened would be like.

The moment you choose to live in a state of gratitude, you will begin to find more and more things to be grateful for. To give you some ideas, here’s a beautiful native Indian poem sent to me by an American friend this morning:-

 To be a human is an honour, and we offer thanksgiving for all the gifts of life.

Mother Earth, we thank you for giving us everything we need.

Thank you deep blue waters around Mother Earth, for you are the force that takes thirst away from all living things.

We give thanks to green, green grasses that feel so good against our bare feet, for the cool beauty you bring to Mother Earth’s floor.

Thank you, good foods from Mother Earth, our life sustainers, for making us happy when we are hungry.

Fruits and berries, we thank you for your colour and sweetness.

We are thankful to good medicine herbs, for healing us when we are sick.

Thank you, all the animals of the world, for keeping our precious forests clean.

All the trees of the world, we are thankful for the shade and warmth you give us.

Thank you all the birds in the world, for singing your beautiful songs for all to enjoy.

We give thanks to you gentle Four Winds, for bringing clean air for us to breathe from the four directions.

Thank you, Grandfather Thunder Beings, for bringing rains to help all living things grow.

Elder Brother Sun, we send thanks for shining your light and warming Mother Earth.

Thank you Grandmother Moon, for growing full every month to light the darkness for children and sparkling waters.

We give you thanks, twinkling stars, for making the night sky so beautiful and sprinkling morning dew drops on the plants.

Spirit Protectors of our past and present we thank you for showing us ways to live in peace and harmony with one another.

And most of all, thank you Great Spirit, for giving us all these wonderful gifts, so we will be happy and healthy every day and every night.

(Translation by Chief Jake Swamp)

There you are – we all have so much to be grateful for in our lives.

On this day of thankfulness what are you grateful for?

How will you bring more gratitude into your life from today?

Please do also check out my series of 5 articles for thanksgiving week from a year ago:

Thanksgiving Week Lesson 1 – How To Embrace What You Already Have

Thanksgiving Week Lesson 2 – How To Let Yourself Give and Receive

Thanksgiving Week Lesson 3 – How To Add a Little Sizzle to Your Relationships

Thanksgiving Week Lesson 4 – How To Harvest the Wisdom from My Top Blogger Friends

Thanksgiving Week Lesson 5 – How to Serve Others at the Global Table

Help to Spread the Word

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2. Spread your Sunshine Everyday from Today Onwards
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Have you ever met someone who instantly inspires you with their way of being?

I met someone just like that a few weeks ago on what was actually a very sad occasion. A long time friend’s wife lost her brave fight against illness and passed away at a young age.

The memorial service was beautifully run by John Merrill. I really liked what it said on his card – “Embracing and Honouring all Faiths”

What truly touched me was John’s deep compassion, humanity and genuine interest in people. He shared a lot of stories and has clearly led a very interesting and fulfilling life.

I asked John to share a story with us and this is what he sent me:-

“I want to tell you a true story.

A Leo boy was born in London, the result of a one night stand during World War Two. The father never saw his son and after just nine months, his mother was forced to give him up for adoption – she never saw him again.

The boy was adopted by a middle aged couple in Sheffield who did their utmost to bring him up as their son. He proved a troublesome and rebellious child, eventually spending ten years in boarding schools in North Yorkshire.

 Was he unhappy?

No, he was enjoying life to the full and everything that happened to him was all part of a divine plan and purpose, but he didn’t appreciate this until much later in life.

When only 6 years old, one afternoon his whole class was taken into the Peak District, to a gritstone edge. He had never been out in the countryside before, but the visit made a huge impact on him.

That sense of fresh air, freedom, rocks to scramble up, the views, the birds singing away and the wild flowers waving in the light breeze, all created a scene of paradise.

He knew instantly what his life would be.

The following term he was expelled – it’s not known why. Finally his adopted father found a boarding school in North Yorkshire, where he spent ten happy years, although always bottom of the class.

He created new records for being canned and new athletic records on the sports field!

By the time he was fifteen he was climbing up the school building and camping outside during the summer term.

His Quaker headmaster caught him one day climbing up the four storey hall and summoned him to his office – now!

Fearing expulsion, as he already been sent home 3 weeks early the previous term, he stood before the headmaster’s desk, only to be told to sit in the chair beside him.

The headmaster didn’t admonish him, but simply said he had better be properly trained!

A month later he was on a month’s Outward Bound Mountain course in the Lake District. His adopted father put his name forward for an expedition to Norway. He was accepted and enjoyed a month of climbing there.

“There are many paths up a mountain, but only one summit.” – John Merrill

Exams (O’ Levels) came and he took eight and failed them all; his highest mark was 14% in English!

His adopted father was horrified and he stayed on another year and swotted like mad; only to fail them all again!

However, he did take a ninth subject, Pottery, and made a figure of a climber on the top of Everest. It was marked 45% the lowest pass mark and he had finally gained one O’ Level subject.

After finishing school, he worked in factories in Sheffield and after eight years was a Works Manager. However, three nights a week and every weekend he was out walking and climbing; he knew this was where he should be, but how could he make a living from it?

He decided to walk around the Island of Mull, about 200 miles, and take photographs for a talk and write articles for magazines. He had never done of these things before.

As he walked down the Ross of Mull, he came to the Sound between the Isle of Iona. Already synchronicity was at work!

For as he walked onto the beach a boat from the island rowed ashore. The boatman asked if he wanted to go the island. He jumped aboard, the only passenger and camped beside the Abbey in the rain.

Visiting the Abbey he noticed there was a service at 6 pm and thought no more about it. At 5.55 pm. a voice in him told him to go to that service. He went wondering why, sang the hymns and listened to the readings, prayers and then the sermon.

He sat bolt upright as the message was -

“God gives you the chance to do what you should be doing. If you don’t take it he will give you again”.

He immediately realised he had the chance to follow his infant dream.

Back home, he was soon receiving lecture bookings and his articles on the island walk were accepted and published!

He wrote a book on “Walking in Derbyshire”, and sent it a publisher and was accepted. The book sold 150,000 copies.

Whilst on Mull, he dreamt of walking through all the Hebridean Islands on one long walk. Again he had never done a marathon walk before.

Six months later he set off and linked all the islands together of the Inner and Outer Hebrides, walking 1,004 miles in 54 days. It rained once and he saw no other walkers, just an amazing abundance of wildlife.

“For every mile that you walk you extend your life by 21 mins” – John Merrill

Over the following years, he took no advice from anyone, just following his heart and his love for the countryside.

He wore out 116 pairs of boots and walked more than 200,000 miles all over the world.

“I cannot be defined, No label sticks to me, No pigeon hole do I fit. I am connected to everything, I am part of the whole. A part has no meaning on its own.“  – John Merrill

He continued to lecture and write, with more than 370 books so far. Then six years ago he received a letter; a complete shock. Derby University wanted to honour him with a Masters Degree at their annual awards ceremony, for his walking and writing!

The day was momentous and in his speech he said that his one regret that day was that his adopted parents and three headmasters were not there to see what had become of their naughty boy!

Through his walking in nature and wilderness, he always knew inside that he was cared for, protected, and watched over.

He has never broken a bone, got lost, been ill or had any trouble. He is deeply spiritual but never spoke about it or the real wonders he had seen and experienced.

Then, as he approached his 65th birthday a voice in him said that it was time for him to release and speak about his life and spirituality. Two days later the next issue of Kindred Spirit arrived. It had a competition and for the first time he wrote about his life’s journey. He won a book!

The next issue had an advert for the Interfaith Foundation – to train to be a Minister. The words Inter Faith rang a bell in his head.

Two months later he was training to be a Minister. Today he is ordained and speaking openly about his life. 

And who is this person? Me!

The message of this story is simple – follow your heart.

Don’t listen to anyone, simply do your own thing, what you love doing.

All will unfold as you follow this path. Obstacles will disappear, opportunities will come in abundance and money will always be there when needed. Simply trust and have absolute faith and go with the flow of it.”

So there you – thanks very much John for sharing your inspirational story.

Remember – always follow the calling of your heart.

Please check out John Merril’s numerous  walking guidebooks – and also his interfaith work.

“May you have faith in your worth and act in your wisdom” - John Merrill

Help to Spread the Word

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What role does money play in your life?

If you are like most people, money probably plays a very central role in your life. We can never seem to get enough of it – and isn’t it funny how quickly it comes and goes?

A few weeks ago, I joined forces with my friend Davide De Angelis aka The Money Shaman to bring his work to a wider stage.

We are shortly launching a series of products which will help you create more abundance and prosperity in your life.

For now, you can actually sign up here for a free 7 day course called The New Money Dynamics.

I invited Davide to write a few words for my readers outlining his journey and how he got here. This is what Davide had to say – hold tight for an amazing ride:-

There was a time when most of my waking hours were being shaped by a lack of money. At one point things became very grim indeed.

One day as my wife Esther and I sat scowling at each other, me clutching a court summons for unpaid tax and Esther brandishing a final demand from the electricity company, a vocal purging of dramatic proportions ensued: unspoken truths, secrets, buried anger and deep resentments flooded to the surface like an erupting volcano.

This is Shamanic Territory.

The very real prospect of losing the roof over our heads, and the months of threats, final demands and petty humiliations around money had stripped us down to the bare metal.

Finally there was nothing covering up the energies and stories that were really shaping our lives.

In many ways this is shamanic territory because we get to look behind the curtain of falsehoods obscuring what we don’t want anyone – not even ourselves – to see. And in that super-present moment there is only a desire to pull down the curtain of falsehoods, to get honest, to throw anything that isn’t honest into the purifying flame of truth.

We literally escape the gravitational pull of what we have taken to be our self.

We Avoid it like the Plague.

The business of getting honest about money (or anything else for that matter) is difficult and dirty work – that’s why we avoid it like the plague. But it’s the work that sets us free and opens new vistas.

The trick – if there is one – is to know that from inside our own fixed ideas about life we can’t even imagine what those new horizons might be. Those ideas need to collapse and it’s the ‘temporary’ discomfort and inconvenience that actually scares us.

It still makes me cry thinking of that day.

Two human beings with nothing left to cover their raw nerves, their vulnerability. It makes me cry because in the midst of a pit of despair, I discovered the unexpected presence of love.

I think we were more beautiful in that moment than I could have imagined possible, and out of the blue as the tears streamed down our faces I saw it.

I saw that once we let go of the lies holding a story about who we are together, we can get down to the real business of cherishing each other, loving each other.

Money is a Powerful Mirror.

Money is a powerful mirror that reflects the tons of beliefs we mysteriously seem to be filled with.

Most of us are so full of conditioned reactions and old beliefs that there is no room for anything new to be entertained. The energy of Money reflects back the stories and countless meanings we have given to the circumstances we find ourselves in.

I repeat – it reflects back the stories and countless meanings we have given to the circumstances we find ourselves in. It’s worth giving this statement some consideration.

Money will Systematically Reveal all of our Deepest Fears.

If we allow it to do its work, and pay attention instead of running away, the energy of money will systematically reveal all of our deepest fears about life: mainly that life is not safe and that there is something fundamentally wrong with us.

Importantly, it does its work regardless of how much or how little money you have.

A compulsion to accumulate money – far more than is needed – reveals the fear lurking beneath the surface in the same way that struggling for money does.

Most of us carry the belief that having more money will solve our problems and are surprised – shocked even – when we discover that the same old nagging worries about life are still present, even when we have more money!

Money – or perhaps more accurately our ‘idea’ of money gives us all an opportunity to examine what’s actually true for us.

In other words, money always presents an opportunity to know who we are in a remarkably intimate way; that is if we are open to this.

When we are able to see the F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real) that has so shaped our lives, we are presented with the possibility of living with greater and greater freedom.

The Key is to Live a Life where you are Really Present.

I remember hearing a saying, ‘We see the world through our beliefs not our eyes’.

This statement is something remarkable because it contains the key to living a life where you are really present to what’s actually going on.

I believe that ultimately this is compassion: you see that all the ideas and judgements that you have about yourself and others are simply not true – can never actually be true – and you become present to the flow of ‘finding out’ and discovering.

You are open to life in all its myriad shapes and forms. You no longer believe the stories your mind conjures up.

Part of the Healing Process.

Strangely enough, in the way that flu symptoms are the healing mechanisms of the body and not directly created by the virus, the threats, final demands, petty humiliations and the court summons turned out to be part of the healing process.

They exist to show us what kind of life we’re creating by not knowing who we are and what’s true beyond our false beliefs.

I had said this very thing many, many times on workshops and in coaching sessions and yet on that day it was the first time I totally understood the principle.

The energy of money we see playing out in the world, its connection to forcing things and its connection to control and survival, is a symptom of us not knowing who we are on a massive scale.

We are taught to suppress symptoms and in so doing interfere with the healing process. A symptom is a sign that something is trying to heal: can you imagine what happens when we hold this distinction up to all the things that we think of as problems?

Not Knowing who we are is the Virus of our Time.

Not knowing who we are is the virus of our time and all the problems or symptoms we encounter such as spiralling debt, addictions, abusive relationships and poor health, are signs that we need to stop and ask the question:-

Who am I?

We assume the answer at the risk of our aliveness. We need to ask the question ‘Who am I’ as our eyes open in the morning, with a desire to really know, and let the answers we discover give birth to us.

I believe that we all want to be generous and loving, no matter how we may otherwise behave. Bringing this question to life is the activating principle. It’s certainly not a new question. In fact every experience is asking it. It is so present that we completely miss it.

This is Living Meditation.

If you’ve never genuinely asked yourself this question, then I invite you to begin the process now. This is living meditation, the answer will arrive, no need to go searching.

What is your relationship with money inviting you to question?

What old beliefs (that were most likely not even yours in the first place) is your relationship with money inviting you to question and see past?

The way forward for you from today

I guarantee that money is not what you think it is and it will help you see that you are not who you think you are. Look at your relationship with money and let it become your ally instead of the enemy.

The by-product of this enquiry is an ever-growing feeling of abundance.

I wish you all abundance and prosperity on your journey.

Your friend – Davide De Angelis

PS Download your copy of the FREE Money Dynamics Course from The Money Shaman

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Are you in need of some inspiration?

Maybe you are feeling sorry for yourself?

Or perhaps you just want to hear or see something with a feel-good factor?

Then look no further than this amazing and inspirational video of a courageous and talented contestant from the Australian X-factor.

I watched this earlier today and I have no shame in admitting that I was reduced to tears.

The guy in this video Emmanuel Kelly made my day, my month and my year! I shared this on my Facebook page earlier and I had lots of comments from my friends saying how much it had moved them too.

So now I am sharing this with all of you. I challenge you not to cry.

No, I take that back – I challenge you all to cry, and to cry openly.

What is it that so moves our human spirit?

Is it the sheer courage of this young man in following his dream?

Is it that we are tinged with pity?

Maybe we are immensely moved by the kindness and compassion shown by one woman and her courage and determination against such odds.

I’ll tell you exactly what it is.

It is our human spirit at its best.

Moments like this allow the best of us to come through. And they show all that’s great and noble about us.

It’s such moments that make life so wonderful and worthwhile.

Reminds me of the time I truly experienced unconditional love for the first time in India.

When we experience such moments, the world is suddenly alright again. We bask in this great feel good factor – and any of our own petty problems simply disappear in the light of our greatness.

Such moments may seem so short lived – but you can rekindle them anytime you want – simply watch this video again and again!

Do share below your own thoughts about this video and about Emmanuel Kelly.

What lights up your world?

And what will it take for you to truly follow your dream?

Remember – just imagine what YOU can do.

Please Help to Spread the Word

Please tell your friends about Make It Happen by using the share buttons below.

Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

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This is a guest post from Anja Van Kralingen

Have you ever felt that you need time out from your life?

A friend of mine recently went overseas for ten days to visit some family. Soon afterwards, she told me that she felt overwhelmed at home. She wanted to go back to Europe and leave her children with her husband. I know that she will never do this, but I started thinking about it.

What it was that made her feel this way?

I also feel sometimes like running away. Small kids, teenager and husband can take its toll. Especially around 5 pm (suicide hour) when everyone wants something from you and it is not all the same thing!

What’s so appealing about running away and leaving it all behind?

Can You Do a Shirley Valentine?

Let’s say that you run off and leave everyone behind, like in the movie Shirley Valentine. Ok, it worked for her, but why? Her marriage, her relationship with her children, her relationships with her friends were all so meaningless, that she had to find meaning somewhere else.

Personally, I think that is really sad and hectic, to take a life of 40 odd years and realise that there is no meaning in it. I would also run away I suppose. So Shirley Valentine only started living on that Greek island. Her whole life before that amounted to nothing that she valued. The weight of being someone else on a Greek Island was more than her whole life she left behind in England.

So, what is that about? She felt free in Greece, free from the trappings, monotony, and boredom of her life in England. Of course the problem is when she starts to create a life for herself in Greece, would she still be able to give it meaning?

She will be working, and find a partner and go shopping and get stuck in traffic and read books and watch TV (albeit in a different language ) But still a life just as she had in England. Friends with which to go out with and play Bingo with. Will she really find herself not talking to a wall again?

Can you really get away from yourself?

The Real Predicament

So really what is the question? Is it better to start anew if you find your life meaningless, or is it better to take what you have and get meaning from that?

You met someone and married and had children and created a career and a life. Is this not hugely meaningful? Do you not have meaning to those around you? Is it not incredibly selfish to leave those who need you and depend on you?

Perhaps the problem is not that there is no meaning in your life as it is, but rather that you are unable to see it.
Or perhaps, you should endeavour not to allow your life to become meaningless in the first place. Can you find nothing in this life which you are good at or enjoy or love?

Freedom Is…?

Freedom is different things to different people. I am not talking about freedom in the broad sense, but personal, in your life right now.

Do you feel completely bogged down by your responsibilities? Is this the reason for your longing for freedom?

Let’s consider this for a moment.

More time to yourself, less responsibility, free to have sex with someone else, free to drink and drug it up, doing only what you want to do, have total autonomy. Please feel free to add whatever you think constitutes freedom to you here.

But just imagine having all that freedom. Would you really be free? No, you would probably not feel free at all, because you would find yourself living a life with no meaning yet again.

Freedom means living a life filled with meaning.

So Where Are you At?

How can you separate who you are from the life you are currently living? Surely it is not a mistake that you are where you are.

You got to this point as a culmination of all the choices (conscious and unconscious) that you have made.

• If you are a fatalist and find yourself here because it just happened, I suggest to you that it is exactly where you should be.
• If you find yourself here because you planned to be here, I suggest to you as well that it is exactly where you should be.

It is not a coincidence that this is your life!

It reflects who you are and what is important to you, and if it doesn’t, reassess what you want and what is important to you. You CAN have it all – freedom and meaning right here.

This idea is explored in Stephen’s blog “Becoming”.

What is your definition of freedom? Do you think it is possible to have meaning and freedom?

With love

Anja

Read more inspiring articles about the meaning of life from the blog In Pursuit of Meaning.
Subscribe here and get a Free Dream Guide.

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This is a guest post from Angela Artemis

Do you wish you could “create” good luck – just like that?

Remember the seminar you were just dying to take but, didn’t have the money for until a forgotten refund check for an overpayment miraculously showed up in your mailbox – at the perfect time?

This may seem like a once in a lifetime lucky coincidence but I have some good news for you.

You can create an atmosphere that fosters and attracts luck to you like a magnet if you learn to follow your intuition.

The Universe is intelligent.

This intelligence is organized and responsive to our needs.

The appearance of synchronicity and serendipity, which are lucky coincidences, in our lives make it evident that this force exists and that it can interact with each us intelligently.

Synchronicity is a “fortunate or meaningful coincidence.”

Serendipity means “something you need or could use lands unexpectedly in your lap.” The example of receiving a check out of the blue is a classic case of serendipity.

Both of these phenomena occur more frequently when you begin developing your intuition.

How synchronicity and serendipity manifest:-

Say, that it’s the dead of winter and your snow blower dies. You dash out to buy a new one before the next snowfall. At the store you run into an old friend who says she and her husband are moving to California in a week.

After some chit chat your friend tells you that you can have her snow blower, which is practically brand new, since she and her husband will not need it in California.

This is an example of a how serendipity works. You received something you needed as a windfall in an unexpected way.

Recently, while taking a walk I’d been trying to come up with a solution as to where I might find more clients interested in mediumship readings. Just as I was thinking about this, I said hello to a man coming out of his home and we struck up a conversation.

It turns out that he is in the business of taking people on tours of haunted houses. He works with mediums and brings them along so that they can get a reading on what’s happening. He gave me his card and told me to get in touch with him.

This is a classic example of synchronicity or fortunate coincidence.

We are lovingly guided by the Universe:-

Events such as these, where you cross paths with good luck, are orchestrated by the Universe to help make your life flow more easily. It is how the Universe speaks to us.

When you learn to hear your intuition and follow it you will be ‘guided’ to be in the right place at the right time.

Each of us has a path that best utilizes all of our talents and abilities in life. Think of synchronicity and serendipity as ‘road signs’ pointing you in the right direction to arrive at your destination, just as you would if you were following directions to a friend’s house.

When we are on the ‘right’ path things work in our favour to keep us headed in the right direction.

Should the synchronicities or serendipitous events come to a halt, we know we’ve strayed too far from our path.

Why synchronicity heightens your success:-

The Universe is an organized system of intelligence whose only directive is the propagation of all life. An organized system is merely a “feedback loop,” meaning when you do this – I do that.

If what you do supports life on Earth – the Universe is programmed to respond in only one way – by supporting you.

When you are on the right path, having found your “raison d’être” and use it to help others thrive you are in-tune with the prime directive of the Universe. The Universe conspires to help you because your actions support the same goal.

It is your understanding of these events that significantly ramps up your success in life.

Each time one of these fortunate events occurs you will know that you’ve found another “breadcrumb” or clue that you’re going in the right direction.

Once you are aware that you are being shown the right path to follow by these events you will be led from one success to another so that you continue on the path which allows you to share your gifts and talents in loving service to the world.

You will be pleased to know that there’s actually a science to creating good luck!

Use these 5 tips to enhance the likelihood that you’ll cross paths with good fortune:-

1. Become crystal clear about your path.

Be very clear about your purpose and how it serves the greater good. Analyze why you’re doing what you’re doing. Are you only after fame and fortune or are you truly seeking to be of service to people?

2. Express gratitude for everything and everyone.

Gratitude triggers the Universe to act upon your desires. Gratitude is a way of expressing love and love is the energy frequency that the Universe emits. The Universal energies will flow through you and create your good when your personal energy pattern matches that of the Universe.

3. Set aside time each day to go within and listen to your intuition.

Your intuition is how the Universe prompts you to be in the right place at the right time. Getting quiet and meditating every day will allow you to separate your thoughts from your intuition.

4. Be sure to follow your intuition once you hear it!

It won’t do you much good to hear your intuition and ignore it. You have to take action. Taking action shows the Universe that you desire to receive this guidance often. The more you use this guidance the more guidance you’ll receive.

Learn how to follow your guidance by recognising the signs and following them.

5. Maintain an attitude of expectancy that these lucky coincidences will appear.

No matter what you undertake in life it always requires that you set an intention. When you set the intention to accomplish something it is followed by an expectation that what you’re striving for will manifest.

Maintaining a positive expectation keeps your energy high making it easier to attract good fortune.

When you share your gifts and talents in loving service to the world, not only will the Universe open the way by supporting you but, it will flood your life with true joy, fulfilment and abundance as well.

Now, go forth and do good, be good and spread good and the Universe will reward you with many fortunate coincidences!

Have you ever experienced synchronicity or serendipity in your life?

What else was going on in your life at the time? Can you see how the incident supported your mission in life?

Angela Artemis is an author, clairvoyant and intuitive coach and career counselor from the New York area. She’s also a financial salesperson with 25 year background in financial planning, private banking and real estate finance. Visit her at Powered by Intuition

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Life is already tough enough without having to keep everyone around you happy.

Are you someone who always says “Yes”?

Do you always says yes to every request for help, advice etc?

Then you already know how challenging it can be to keep everyone else happy. The people around you can be so demanding. If you let them.

If you say to everything, what’s your No worth?

The definition of a YES man is someone who always goes along with the opinion of others, especially a superior at work e.g. their boss or someone more senior. Usually, the implication is that the “Yes Man” is just going along to look good and to appease others.

Are you a yes man or a yes woman in your life?

Lately, I have been practicising saying NO to every request for help. Of course in the kindest possible way.

Why? Because I am focussing on myself.

True self-love means putting yourself first, no matter what.

It’s not about being selfish or self-centred or careless. It’s about putting yourself first. As simple as that.

By saying no more often, you are opening yourself up to more opportunities for sampling and living life on your own terms.

So say yes to life by saying no more often.

Focussing on myself has meant turning down requests for help. And also invitations for socialising. Turning down an opportunity for partying is hard for someone like me. But it has to be done when there are bigger fish to catch.

Saying no to others means you can give all that energy, time and focus to the most important person in your life. You.

And there-in lies the path to true happiness. Finding yourself without being forever compromised by the demands of others.

Try it today and then for 7 days – say no to every request. Train yourself to be selfish!

You can only help others by first helping yourself.

Say no to others.

Say yes to life.

You know you want to.

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Have you noticed that today there is a lot of gloom and doom in the world?

If the doomsayers had it their way, we would all be thoroughly miserable, down and out, and licking our wounds.

Today more than ever you and I need to keep things in perspective and continue to be aware of all the good things in our world.

This is not in anyway to deny the reality of all the challenges we face today. Only last week, I wrote about why you shouldn’t see the Japanese earthquake as a Hollywood movie set.

It’s heart breaking to know just what challenges and trauma so many people in the world are going through right now.

In light of what’s happening around us, it is more imperative than ever before that more people like you adopt a positive and upbeat attitude.

Look back on your life – have you ever met someone who is always so positive and a joy to be around – someone with lots of energy and who can see the sunny side to everything?

You may know someone today who is like that or you may well have been like that yourself once.

Maybe you are scared of being annoyingly positive and losing your boring friends!

Well, you too can learn to be such a positive person too, no matter what stormy times you are going through in your personal life or what challenges the world faces.

“Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.”  – Author unknown

So often we cannot do anything about certain circumstances such as the loss of a job, the end of a relationship or bereavement. Or we cannot do much about global events such as earthquakes or a war on the other side of the globe.

However, it is how we react that really determines how long we stay down and out.

Without playing down the trauma and pain of life changing events, it is really up to you to decide how you will continue with your life.

It is an old cliché, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going. We always have a choice and we can choose to see the positive side to everything.

You may well ask – what’s the positive side to the loss of thousands of lives in an earthquake or in a war?

I honestly don’t have an answer to that except that maybe this is an invitation and a prompt from nature to look deeply at how we are living our lives and how we are treating the planet.

I would of course welcome your thoughts about this.

So looking at your own life, is your glass half full or half empty?

To help you to see it as full during these challenging times, here are my tips to adopt a more positive attitude at all times:-

1. Get away from the doomsayers

This is possibly the most important thing you can do – simply get away from all the doom and gloom!

Switch off your television, stop surfing so much and refuse to even scan the newspaper headlines.

And harsh as it sounds, distance yourself from people who whinge and moan about the state of the world. And of course make sure you don’t become one of them, by reading the rest of this article.

2. Look for the positive

Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen or has happened. Hard as it may seem at the time, look for the fabled silver lining.

Often things that apparently go wrong for us are a blessing in disguise. For example, many people who are divorced by their partner, and who wished for the marriage to continue, realise years later that their ex-partner had actually done them a favour.

Their life takes on new meaning and helps them grow in previously unimaginable ways.

What’s the worse thing that could happen today in your life?

Right now, at this very moment whilst you are reading this, you still have your faculties, your body and your home. So what’s the problem!?

3. Let go and move on

Be willing and ready to forgive others when you feel you have been slighted.

Have the awareness that everyone is doing the best that they can, with the understanding and knowledge they have. Assume the best in others.

Forgiveness can take time and a lot effort, but it will bring you so much relief and healing.

4. Have no expectations of how things should be

One of the biggest causes of upset is our expectation of how things should be.

If something didn’t quite go the way you would have liked ask yourself – does it really matter?  In the scheme of things, so what if someone cuts you up in traffic?

Have NO expectations about how things “should” be, and see how quickly you lighten up.

5. See life as an adventure.

Do you see your life as a drag or an adventure?

Take on the attitude that no matter what happens today, you are going to enjoy whatever the day brings you.

Each new day brings you an abundance of gifts – it is up to you to open your eyes to them.

6. Adopt a can do attitude.

No matter what challenges you face today, there is always a solution and a way out.

Learn to cultivate a belief in your ability to cope with whatever life may bring to you. There are always resources and people that can help you.

7. Stop dwelling on the past

What is done is done, so begin to work on your present circumstances, which will ultimately help you create the future that you seek.

You can learn key lessons from the past but this does not mean that you wallow in the past.

8. Build up your self esteem

Spend a few moments right now, reviewing all the good things that you have got going in your life and all your achievements to date. Include “minor” achievements too.

You will soon realise that actually you have a lot going for you.

What if the world tells you to be miserable?

No matter what others may say, there are a lot of good things in the world today. The challenge you and I face is to constantly remind ourselves and others about this.

At the end of the day, adopting some or all of the above will rapidly bring about a very positive outlook in your life.

No matter what the world tells you how you should behave and feel miserable, you can stay focussed on the good things in your life and in the world.

Above all, be enthusiastic about life and all that it brings – remember everyone loves to be around a positive buzzing person, and you can be such a person.

Finally, remember to chill out and have more fun in your life. Laughter, playfulness and relaxation are beneficial to the mind as well as the body. By having some fun in your life, you affect how rapidly you age, your immune system and how your body reacts to stress.

So here’s to a more positive you!

Please Help to Spread the Word

Please tell your friends about Make It Happen by using the share buttons below.

Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

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Have you ever been really, really low in your life?

Last Monday in the UK was considered by some media “experts” to be the unhappiest day of the year for many people.

With Christmas festivities a fading memory, credit card bills piling up and dark, cold evenings, these so called experts told their readers and listeners how to survive the ordeal of the day.

I guess some people do get down due to the weather and the dark evenings, but I wonder how many really hit rock bottom as a result.

I remember a few years ago when I hit rock bottom in my life. I had lost my job, my wife and I had just split up and the property I was renting only had a month to go before the rental agreement ran out.

That period was up till then the most painful point in my life.

The time when my father suddenly passed away was even more painful, but that’s a story for another day.

Now as most of my friends would agree, I am a very upbeat and confident guy. I have a can do attitude and I can move mountains when I put my mind to it. But at that time, I was shattered.

My self- esteem was in tatters and I just wanted the pain to go away and that period of my life to end.

I got through my pain by counting the days and months and before I knew it, six months had gone by and then another six months.

Within a short time, I had got my life back on an even keel and years later I look back at that period as the formative time that made me who I am today. I discovered life coaching, published four books and realised that actually I am a pretty good writer.

So what changed? And what got me through that painful period?

It all came down to my self-esteem. I continued to believe in myself and knew that I was much more than those circumstances.

Do you suffer from low self esteem? Or are you someone who really believes in themselves?

Having positive self esteem makes you capable of meeting life’s challenges and allows you to consider yourself worthy of happiness.

When you have positive self-esteem, you feel great about yourselves and you go through life feeling that you can conquer anything that comes your way.

However, most of us suffer from simply feeling not good enough or lovable enough.

Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn’t working out. But focusing on your positive traits will immediately improve your chances of creating the life you desire and deserve.

So here’s the thing to understand, learn and accept – you can stop putting yourself down from this very moment!

You can’t develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities.

Looking back at that bleak time in my life, apart from taking focussed action and doing what I knew I just had to do, I also applied some simple principles which I know really shifted me from that dark place.

Today, I am glad and I guess I am also a little proud to share my key lessons to build up your own self esteem.

So as 2011 unfolds, bear in mind my 9 powerful ways to boost your self- esteem:-

1. Look at your past successes and achievements.

Make a list of 25 things you have done. Then list another 25. These don’t have to be major achievements for you to acknowledge yourself and can include things like learning to ride a bike, passing your driving test, getting promoted and so on.

When feeling low, remember the times when you were proud of what you did, and the times you were praised. Close your eyes and recreate the feeling of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.

2. Think of at least 10 positive qualities of which you are proud.

For instance – are you reliable? Honest? Helpful? Imaginative?

Write these on some brightly coloured paper and stick up where you will see it regularly such as on your mirror, office wall or the fridge door.

Read it at least once every day.

3. Get feedback from other people

Do you know what people close to you really think of you?

Ask 5 people who know you well to write down your top 5 perceived strengths. Prepare to be pleasantly surprised!

4. Stop comparing yourself with other people.

There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less.

Instead, observe positive confident people around you and copy their traits and instil into your life. For example, for every negative thought about yourself, think of a positive one.

5. Review your negative beliefs.

Are your beliefs about you really true?

Once you believe something, you tend to filter out any evidence that would disprove this belief, so they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Actively look for evidence to disprove your negative beliefs.

Ask yourself – is this belief helpful to you? Where did this limiting belief come from? What would you rather believe instead?

Create a new empowering belief. What would be the benefits of the positive belief?

6. Begin to accept yourself as you are.

Look in the mirror every morning and say “I love and approve of myself”.

This may seem awkward but keep going until you can look yourself in the eye and you mean what you say.

Use such affirmations to boost yourself in other ways. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as “I like and accept myself just the way I am” or “I approve of myself”.

Carry this card with you and repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning.

Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.

7. Immerse your self in positivity

Listen to motivational tapes and read positive, self development books.

Whatever thoughts you allow to dominate your mind will eventually take root and affect your behaviour.

Set aside time every day for personal development.

8. Help someone in need

Do something good for somebody else, even if it is simply helping an elderly person cross the road.

Doing things for others will make you feel better about yourself, put matters into perspective and automatically create self esteem.

9. Mix with positive, upbeat people

Associate with people who energise you and appreciate your positive points.

When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you down, your self-esteem is lowered.

Conversely, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself.

The way forward

No matter where you are now in your life, know that things will get better and a more positive outlook will make a huge difference.

Then one day you too can look back, wonder what all the fuss was and appreciate all the key lessons you learnt.

If I can do it, so can you.

Apply these tips, and one day soon, before you know it, you will be brimming with positive self esteem and confidence.

And of course, remember to smile:-)

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