The #1 Secret to Living Big that Successful People Don’t Want to Tell You!

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What secrets do successful people hold under their hats that you’d love to know?

How do they progress from zero to where they are today?

How can you do the same?

Let’s see how it all starts:

I turned to look at her one last time before I left.

She refused to return my gaze. Her pain was visible.

As I’d made the decision to leave my home in the North of England for the dizzy heights of London, I had no intention of hurting her. But she was hurt all the same.

She was hurt because I hadn’t listened to her advice to stay in the city I was raised in.

She was hurt because she felt betrayed by her own child. How would she explain to the neighbours that her unwed daughter was now living alone?

But most of all, she was hurt because she was afraid for my safety. She wouldn’t be there to protect me.

She was my mother, after all. This reaction was as much chemical as it was emotional.

It took me some time to realise that her hurt was in her control. It wasn’t caused by me, brought on by me, and neither could it be controlled by me.

She created it. She would make it go away.

But this post is not about forgiveness, difficult relationships, or coming to terms with your decisions.

This post is about a subtle shift in mindset.

A mindset that moves you away from simply dreaming, and starting to truly live.

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Warning: Why Facing Your Fear Doesn’t Always Work – and 4 Things to do Instead

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What are you afraid to do in your life?

Probably the most common advice you’ll get when you are afraid to do something is to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Whether you want to talk to a person at a party, start your own business or bungee jump, you’re supposed to face your fear and do what you truly desire.

In essence, this is good advice. The principle behind it is solid. It is by pushing against your fear and challenging yourself that you build confidence. You can even overcome your fear of speaking in public, like Arvind did.

Indeed, you can feel the fear and change the world anyway.

However, based on several years of experience as a confidence coach, I believe that in practice, this guidance often doesn’t work.

This is because in practice, many times the fear someone is feeling is too strong for them to be able to just face it and do what they want. No matter how hard they try, they cannot overpower their fear.

Unfortunately, many individuals who offer self-help advice simply don’t understand this, which is why they keep repeating the same advice for people to face their fears and to try harder, as if this by itself is the universal solution to overcoming any fear.

But it’s not. Many times, just trying to face your fear doesn’t do it. I’d like to show you a few things that you can do in these situations, and genuinely become more confident.

Here are 4 proven ideas that you can put into practice:-

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Special Coaching Offer for a Happy August!

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Happy August everyone!

Have you noticed how quickly 2013 is slipping by? Before we know it, it’ll be Christmas time!

Firstly, thanks to the 100s of friends who attended my 12th annual “Friends and Friend’s Friends Picnic” in Regents Park last Sunday.

It was the best and biggest ever picnic with over 300+ people attending. I’ll be writing a full blog post soon about the ethos of my picnic and the lessons in life from the event in a future post, but in the meantime check out my picnic photos🙂

Being the beginning of the month, I want to share a couple of articles to help you get the month off to a fabulous start:-

1. 31 Days to Bliss and Lightness

2. Make It Happen in 30 Days – Just Go on an Adventure!

The beginning of a new month usually gives us new focus and energy – and my invitation to you is to embrace this period and see what new focus and zest you can bring into your life.

It’s clearly time to be more creative:-

Be brave enough to live creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You cannot get there by bus, only by hard work, risking and by not quite knowing what you are doing. What you will discover will be wonderful: Yourself.” – Alan Alda

Special Coaching Offer for August

With so many new subscribers to my blog, some of you may not yet be aware of my coaching services so please check out my Coaching Packages.

I truly believe in the power of coaching – and I have a coaching package to suit each and every one of you.

For the month of August I am offering 10 coaching slots for my One Month KickStarter Package.

My usual price for this package is £250 but for August I am making it available for just £150.

This is the perfect option for you if you have a very specific problem that you are struggling with in your life, your career or your business that we can quickly solve together.

You will get clarity, momentum and an action plan for the way forward in your life.

And this is how we’ll work together:-

  • One 60-minute Skype session 
  • Copy of the Call recording
  • Detailed Plan of Action
  • 2 email correspondences after your session

To book your session and reserve one of the 10 available slots, please EMAIL ME right away.

I am here to empower you to get the life you love – I want to bring you alive!

I want to do for you what the spring does for the cherry trees.” – Paulo Neruda

And always remember Nulli Secundus – Second to None!

Secrets of the Money Shaman Offer

As we head towards the end of the summer in England, it’s only a few weeks before autumn sets in and we knuckle down to the colder days to come. This is a good time to take stock of our lives and our finances.

“Would you love to experience a really powerful breakthrough in your financial situation and know how to release your fear and struggle around money?”

A while back I teamed with my friend Davide De Angelis aka “The Money Shaman” to share his ethos of abundance and financial freedom. And I am delighted to share with you his life changing online course – “Secrets of The Money Shaman”.

This is a Powerful 7-Week Money Innovation Course in Attracting Money and Opportunities without fear and struggle

Click here now to get your copy of this life changing course

My 7 Tips to Improve all your Relationships

I was interviewed recently on another radio station where I talked about rapidly improving all your relationships – and here are my 7 key tips:-

  1. Be Authentic
  2. Be Generous
  3. Be in Integrity
  4. Be Present and truly Listen
  5. Look to Contribute and Serve Others
  6. Empathise and Put Yourselves in Their Place
  7. Lighten up – we all take life too seriously. Ask – does this really matter?

Have a fabulous August everyone!

And remember to EMAIL ME right away to grab one of the 10 Coaching Slots.

 

How to be Like the Buddha and Make It Happen Mindfully

How many of the goals and resolutions that you set last January did you actually achieve?

If you’re like most people, you don’t even want to think about it!

You created some grand plans, got all excited about them and made some changes.  And somewhere around the middle of February (or sooner) it all seemed too hard and you slipped back to life as you knew it.

How many years have you repeated this cycle?  Or did you give up on the whole process a while ago?

I‘m proposing a very different way of crafting an awesome new year – and life – for yourself.  It has nothing to do with goals and everything to do with loving your life and being happy.

As crazy as it seems, you may accomplish much more using this approach.

The Problem with Goals

We’re taught to set clearly defined goals with deadlines so that we can reverse-engineer the process to achieve them by the designated date.

What usually happens?  We set a goal with a date, possibly design the actions that we must take to meet this goal and, if we’re really dedicated, actually take some of those first few steps.  While we’re taking those steps, we’re intensely focused on our goal, frequently to the exclusion of some other aspects of our lives.

Then life gets in the way and implementing these new actions into our routine seems too difficult.  We lose our motivation and the whole thing falls apart.

Then we beat ourselves up for not following through – again.

Despite this negative experience, we repeat it over and over thinking that “this time will be different.”

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein

This Time Is Different

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Why You Should Never Ever Feel Sorry for Yourself Again!

Have you ever felt sorry for yourself!?

If so, welcome to the human race.  Most of us have been there at one time or another where we feel we’ve been hard done by life.

Maybe you are feeling like that right now?

Or maybe you know someone who’s always down in the dumps and blaming everyone else for not making them happy.

Well, over the last week I have been lucky enough to be moved and inspired by some of the most amazing, brave and talented people I have ever seen.

Yes, I am talking about the Paralympic Games! In previous years, I have not followed the Paralympic Games closely, but I have been so privileged to follow the 2012 games on my doorstep.

I am in so much awe of what these competitors are able to do at such a high level despite all the perceived challenges they have faced and continue to face.

Last night I was lucky enough to be given a ticket for the Olympic Stadium – please check out my photos here.

I can share many inspiring stories  but here are three for you to check out.

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How I Overcame My Fear of Public Speaking – and YOU Can Too

Are you frightened of speaking in public?

If so, then you’ll be pleased to know that you are not the only one! Research has found that speaking in public is the number one fear for most people. It comes even higher than the fear of dying.

So quite literally, people would rather die than be in front of a group of people and speak!

There is even a grand name for the fear of public speaking – Glassophobia.

The research also found that the number two fear for most people is walking into a roomful of strangers. And third comes the fear of death.

My mercurial friend Andy Lopata even wrote a book about this phenomenon – “And Death Came Third” (Amazon USA  /Amazon UK).

Today in this extra-long post, I am sharing with you what I learnt last week when I spoke in front of 300+ people for 90 minutes. I kept the audience engaged during most of that time and received some encouraging feedback, both straight after my talk and also via various emails since then.

The event I spoke to was “The Millionaire Author’s Bootcamp”, run by my friend and book writing expert Stephanie Hale.

My talk was about how to self-publish a book and make it successful via Social Media as well as offline marketing – it was all based around my best-selling book Get the Life you Love.

So you may well ask what the big deal is about me speaking at this event?

Well, it was the first time I have spoken on a big stage with such a large, discerning audience, hungry for information and for such a long period.

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How to Make It Happen with the Power of Your Intuition

Do you use the power of intuition in your life?

So many times in my life I have ignore this inner knowing to either do something or not do something. And only later have I discovered to my dismay that I “should” have followed my inner voice.

At other times, I have followed this guidance and things have truly worked out well. There was the time when I followed an impulse to attend a seminar and I discovered the world of coaching. Another time, I ended up in India at Nirvana School!

Another time, I took a soul nourishing digital sabbatical and it did me the world of good.

It doesn’t even have to involve major life decisions either but can be simply guidance about visiting my happy places and whether to take an umbrella in case it may rain later. (Here in England, you don’t need your intuition to help you with this decision – you always take your brolly!).

You too probably have many such instances in our life where there seemed to be this superior power guiding you. Look back right now and recall the times when you followed – or didn’t follow this inner knowing, or guidance or power or whatever you call it.

For this post, we’ll call it our intuition. The key question however is how to harness the power of this intuition.

What would it be like if we could simply call on this power at any time?

Today, I am proud and pleased to feature my friend Angela Artemis who has just published her latest book The Intuition Principle (Amazon USA /Amazon UK). [Read more…]

The REAL Truth About Why You Suck: You Don’t!

Do you ever feel that you suck!?

Okay, so feeling like you suck is something you’re not supposed to talk about, right?

You’re supposed to stay positive. You’re supposed to be confident. You’re supposed to sweep your insecurities under the rug, and forget they’re there.

But it’s hard.

You’re working twice as hard as everyone else, and yet it seems like you get half as much done.You’re twice as smart, and yet it seems like your ideas get half the attention.

You’re twice as loyal to your company, and yet it seems like your boss doesn’t even know you exist half the time.

No one ever says you suck, no, but you’re starting to wonder if that’s what everyone thinks. And it really, really bothers you.

So what do you do?

I felt like this a few years ago and it wasn’t a great place to be.

There I was, a cocky young man with the world seemingly at my feet and an exciting career ahead of me. And when I was passed over for promotion and a pay rise yet again, it really upset me. To put it mildly.

Luckily, around this time I had a chance meeting with an Irish entrepreneur in a bar that changed my outlook.

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Warning: This Blog Post May Cure Your Fear of Success

Time to get on your horse and succeed!

Are you following your dream or not?

Take a second and ask yourself, “Why am I not pursuing my dream today?  Though I have an idea of the life I’d like to live, why am I not doing anything about it?”

You think of an answer?  Write it down.

If you have more than one, write them all down.

Now look at your list and cross them all out – and instead in BIG letters write: SUCCESS.

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How to Succeed at Anything in 15 minute Chunks

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 In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes” – Andy Warhol.

Are you aware of just how much time you waste each day?

Would you be shocked if I told you that every day you are squandering away hours and hours of your precious life?

Let’s look back on your day today. Or look back on yesterday if you are reading this post early in the morning.

How many times did you check your inbox? Opened the same email without taking any action? Checked Facebook or some other social media account? Handled the same piece of paper?

At this point, just look back and see how what productive and non- productive activities you carried out at work.

Also, if you are like most people nowadays, away from work your day may be filled up with superfluous activities, watching news, gossiping etc – you get my drift.

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Why Playing Big Helps you Let Go of Small Things

Are you playing big yet in your life? If not, then why not?

In my coaching work with various clients, I am meeting more and more people who really want to play big and make a contribution to the world.

It’s really heartening for me that there are so many people in the world who want to make a true difference to others. At he same time they want to make the most of their own life.

What is my life if I am no longer useful to others?”Goethe

What’s becoming clear to me is this – the moment you commit to a bigger game, the small things in your life just drop away. [Read more…]