Make It Happen » Strive for Excellence

Why Playing Big Helps you Let Go of Small Things

Arvind Devalia — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:36:23 +0000

Are you playing big yet in your life? If not, then why not?

Remember it’s time to be bold and think big in 2012.

In my coaching work with various clients, I am meeting more and more people who really want to play big and make a contribution to the world.

It’s really heartening for me that there are so many people in the world who want to make a true difference to others. At he same time they want to make the most of their own life.

“What is my life if I am no longer useful to others?” – Goethe

What’s becoming clear to me is this – the moment you commit to a bigger game, the small things in your life just drop away.

The moment you commit to a bigger vision for your life, everything else falls into perspective.

Nothing else matters and the minor or petty day to day life challenges become inconsequential.

For example, in the scheme of things, does it really matter if:-

Someone cuts you up in the traffic on your way to work?
Or your boss or a work colleague puts you down and criticizes your work?
Or your loved one fails to appreciate something you did for them?

You get the idea.

Of course these things do matter to us because we are only human. But if you can just get to see the bigger picture, you’ll see why these things don’t matter.

The point is this – life is too short to play small.

If you are going to play the game, why not just make it a big game?

And the most beautiful thing is that once you are committed to a big game, you actually do get clarity and a lot of focus on doing only those activities that really matter.

In the big scheme of things, all these minor things don’t matter as

You let go of any perceived grievances, eat humble pie if you need to and just move on.
You stop time wasting activities, get away from draining people and refuse to take on irrelevant commitments.
You become highly energized, focused and you jump out of bed eager to get going with your vision.

And best of all you have a lot of fun and fulfillment!

Very simple – 2012 is all about you and it you being bold and thinking big.

Here are some tips on letting go of the small things in your life.

1. Let go of gossiping – just assume the person you are talking about can hear you – and remember that on a subconscious level, they can!

2. Forgive and forget any grievances from the past – now this may seem really simple and easy – and maybe it can be simple and easy if you choose to do so.

Allow yourself to accept that it is easy to forgive and let go – and it becomes easy.

3. Spend less time surfing websites that don’t tie up with your greater goal.

4. Make your time on social media highly focused and with your big goal in mind.

5. Declutter your life of physical things – just go through these 20 powerful questions that will simplify your life forever.

6. Stop doing things to please others.

Are you an approval seeking machine?

We all do so much for others and I invite you to pause and reflect on this – do you really want to do these activities or are you just trying to please others?

“Spare Me The Desire For Love, Approval And Appreciation” – Byron Katie

By living life on your own terms without wanting to please others, you will begin to focus on those relevant things that will help you make your game big.

So from today onwards, go forth and live a big life of contribution without seeking any accolades, prizes etc.

The way forward

So the question now is really this – are you ready to play BIG?

It’s time to stop hiding and playing small – and I invite you to publicly state how you will play big. Just add your intention in the comments section below.

My Coaching Offer:-

I am now opening up my coaching practice for more clients – please contact me for an initial discussion.

My commitment is to walk with you in 2012 and give you everything I have to help you find your greatness, and to help you make the world a better place at the same time.

You only have one life – are you ready to make yours BIG?

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Please tell your friends about Make It Happen by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

You Were Born to Win – Authentically

Arvind Devalia — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 16:05:30 +0000

A friend just lent me a book which I first read over 20 years ago during my college days.

The book has an intriguing title – “Born to Win” – and it’s a wonderful book which I read way before I discovered the world of coaching and personal development

Its funny how life gives you clues at a young age about your future journey – I have always been fascinated with self-improvement and how to do things better.

In the book introduction, the authors share their definition of what a winner is:-

“A winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of society”.

Conversely, a loser is one who fails to respond authentically.

The authors go on to discuss how to winners achievement is not the most important thing – authenticity is.

This could be a life-changing realisation for you.

Are YOU focussed on being truly authentic or just on crazily achieving in your life?

What’s more important to you – being authentic in all areas of your life or to achieve big things?

Let’s also be clear about we I mean by being authentic.

An authentic person is someone who is not pretending to be something he or she is not. They are happy in their own skin and they have the courage to be themselves.

Check out these 8 great reasons to be you.

Remember that people can smell when you are being inauthentic.

Conversely, people will “get” you when you are being yourself. People love those who are being open, honest and vulnerable.

Look back to a time when you have really been blown away by someone’s presence. Chances are that they were being truly authentic.

Being authentic in all areas of your life is quite a challenge and not for the faint-hearted. In a future post, I’ll outline some of my ideas to help you become more authentic in all areas of your life.

“You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself” – Galileo

Today’s takeaway is this – you are a born winner – and you can win at the game of life by just being YOU.

Just remember to be authentic in all areas of your life – start by answering this question:-

Where in your life are you not being authentic?

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Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

Image courtesy of jarrod job

Stop Wasting Time on Petty Stuff: If I Can Do It, So Can You.

Arvind Devalia — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 12:26:23 +0000

Are you aware of your clock ticking?

Whether you are willing to acknowledge it or not, you are here only for a limited time.

Today most people live as if they will live to 97 and beyond. How else can we explain the way people live their lives today?

It is as if they are stuck in this imagined utopia from their childhood where nothing ever changes and they live forever.

In case you are wondering why I chose the number 97 above, it’s only to make my point – so stop fussing about irrelevant things!

No matter how great your world is today, it could all turn horrible tomorrow. It’s just the nature of things and the way the world is. Anything can collapse any moment.

Life is fragile and yet so precious.

Know that you really don’t have a moment to waste of this precious life. So pause for a moment and reflect on just how much time and energy you waste on petty things.

Suppose you could be childlike once again and just focus on those things that bring you joy and happiness?

Suppose you lived your life as if the next moment or the next day was your last, then how differently would you live?

Surely you would then stop taking yourself so seriously and you would stop wasting time on the petty stuff in your life.

Harsh as it may sound, we are all so insignificant, we might as well be dead.

Simply by acknowledging that you are here for only a limited time, you might even begin to look after our planet a bit better. And taking better of yourself.

For a start, you can increase the amount of time you have simply by learning to become an early riser.

Ask yourself – does it really matter:-

How many superfluous emails you have cleared from your inbox?

How many people are following you on Facebook / Twitter and other social media?

How much more stuff you have de-cluttered?

How many friends you have called or not called?

Who said what and to whom?

Which blogs you have visited and commented on?

Who is doing better than you or worse than you?

Which books you have read lately?

The answer is clearly a resounding NO!

Ok, you guessed it – all of the above listed things are activities I used to do until recently.

What’s on your list of petty things to stop doing from today?

I made an instant decision to stop doing all of the above things – and that’s all it took.

Just a simple decision.

And the moment I made this decision, my world changed – I felt lighter and more joyous in an instant. Since then, I have focussed on those things that will truly make an impact on my life and those of others.

If I can stop wasting time on petty stuff, so can you.

Where in your life can you cut of the stop wasting your time on superfluous and petty stuff and start living again?

Remember – you don’t have to be a superman or superwoman all the time.

Whose expectations are you living up to?

Why devote time and energy on things that are not of importance to you?

And this is a big one:–

Why spend time and energy worrying about things that you have no control over?

In terms of new projects for example, you have no luxury to worry about what’s going to work or not. Just literally move with it!

When will you pull out your fingers, get out there and do what you were supposed to do on this planet!?

Who will you be from now onwards? What will it take for you to become unreasonable and pursue your dream? Even if you get a million NO’s it doesn’t really matter!

Here’s another key thing to let go of:-

Stop bitching and gossiping about those around you.

There are no ordinary people, just look for their greatness.

Life is fragile and yet so precious

To end, I want to remind you of my key point above – life is fragile in every sense – and yet it’s so precious.

Since your life is so precious, you owe it to yourself to make the most of your time here on this fragile planet.

YOU have the responsibility to not only make the most of your time here, but also leave the world a better place.

When will you start?

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Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

Image courtesy of sameer_cdac

How to Conquer Temptation and Fulfill Your Dreams

Arvind Devalia — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 22:57:53 +0000

This is a guest post from Bamboo Forest

That slice of pizza you’re craving when you’re on a diet isn’t temptation – it’s distraction.

Change your perception of the word “temptation” to what it really is, which is distraction.

Isn’t fulfilling your goal and the outcome of fulfilling your goal more important than giving into distractions whose only intention is to destroy the outcome you so badly want?

You would let distractions get you to act in ways that take you off the path to your greatest fulfillment?

That’s crazy and it’s weak.

What about the distractions of worry, doubt and dwelling on the past?

Do you also let those sabotage you from being who you want to be and creating the outcome you want so badly for your life?

Could you imagine fighting a war and out of the corner of your eye noticing a clown juggling.

Would you put your weapon down and stare at the clown while your fellow soldiers were getting shot at?

NO!

You’d notice it for a second and then would ignore it and carry on with your vital goals.

I advise you react to all distractions designed to thwart you from fulfilling your deepest desires just as you would respond to a clown in the midst of war.

Examples of Being Distracted:

Feeling worry about being rejected if you approach a girl or guy. The worry is merely a distraction of fulfilling your vital goal of having a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Feeling temptation to eat a slice of cake that will give you a minute of enjoyment. The temptation is merely a distraction of fulfilling your vital goal of having the body of your dreams.
Feeling self-consciousness to ask someone to hang out with you. The self-consciousness is merely a distraction to fulfilling your vital goal of having a social life.

Your goals are vital because they bring joy to your life and enrich your life!

Even your fatigue can be a distraction. Are you too tired to go out and do something fun?

Staying in all day or night because you’re tired will ultimately cost you more than partaking in life tired. You might surprise yourself how quickly your energy increases when you’re busy being involved in life.

Are you letting any of these distractions sabotage your goals?

Don’t allow mere distractions to keep you from fulfilling your goals that mean so much to you.

The Cost of Negative Thinking

Even negative thinking can be a distraction. If you incessantly indulge in negative thinking and it’s immobilizing you from taking actions that will enhance your life, you’re allowing the distraction of negative thinking to bump you off the path you want in life.

Don’t.

Another foolish thought is berating yourself for not having taken action on something earlier in life instead of asking yourself what you can do now to improve your life.

Anything that keeps you from taking optimal action is nothing more than a distraction and has nothing to do with temptation.

No distraction is worth throwing away the objective you have for yourself that will so abundantly enrich your life.

Harness all of your resources to move yourself in the direction of your dreams without focusing on distractions and your dreams are what you’ll get.

Bamboo Forest created an online timer that helps you kill procrastination and be more productive with your time and energy. He’s also an Email Life Coach, helping people tackle an issue in their life over the course of an entire month.

Image courtest of RichardBH

5 Simple Keys for Taking Massive Action in Your Life

Arvind Devalia — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 11:56:20 +0000

This is a kick-ass guest post by Henri Junttila

You already know that taking massive action produces results, so the question becomes: why aren’t you doing it?

Probably because you’re afraid, overwhelmed, or even worried, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you didn’t feel those feelings, there might be something wrong.

I didn’t start seeing success online until I started focusing and taking massive action.

I was scared, but I knew what I wanted, and I was willing to work hard and face my fears to get there.

1. Kill Your Fears

When you remove the obstacles, massive action happens by itself.

Think of a ball on top of a hill (sorry, couldn’t think of anything more awesome than a ball. Roll with it for now.)

If you have a lot of stuff in front of the ball, it won’t roll. But remove the stuff, and it starts doing what it was meant to do: bounce and move forward.

If you can get out of your own way, that’s exactly what will happen, but perhaps without the bouncing. It depends on your personality, I guess.

2. Clarity

What do you want to do?

I mean, what do you really want to do? If you just want to make money, that’s not strong enough. It might fuel you for a while, but you’ll end up with an empty soul.

You may not know exactly what you want to do, and that’s part of life. What matters is that you start trying stuff and learn what you like.

3. Uncover the Next Step

Taking massive action is about accepting the process, and the process is about learning what you want to do, what to do, how to do it, and actually doing it.

It’s about accepting the fear, the overwhelm, and all the other feelings that come along with doing what you actually want to do.

4. Dealing With Overwhelm

Overwhelm enters the picture when you think too much. The remedy? Think less, do more. Easier said than done, right?

Well yeah, but if you try to visualize everything you have to do, it won’t fit in your brain, and you will feel overwhelmed.

If you break everything into bite-sized pieces: no more overwhelm.

You know that saying: an elephant is eaten one bite at a time? That’s the concept I want you to take home here.

5. Taking Massive Action

Taking massive action happens by taking massive action. More often than not, the only obstacle standing in the way of the ball on the hill is you.

Stop thinking, and start doing. It doesn’t have to be perfect. The more mistakes you make, the faster you learn.

Embrace uncertainty, acknowledge fear, and reclaim your life, please!

Henri Junttila is a writer, and a creator of possibility. He shows you how you can get paid to do what you love over at the Wake Up Cloud. You can also find him on twitter @henrijunttila.

Image courtesy of 666isMONEY

How to Sleep Just 5 hours a Day and Feel Fantastic!

Arvind Devalia — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 17:16:29 +0000

What would your life be like if you suddenly gained a few extra hours each day?

Can you see how you could then do more of the things you enjoy?

Or maybe some of you would work even more hours on your businesses or work life!

Today in the UK the clocks have gone back one hour which means that just for one day, we had an “extra” hour.

It’s a quirky thing how here in the UK we create British Summer Time by putting our clocks forward by an hour in early spring and then we put them back an hour in autumn.

It’s all to help our farmers with more light in the winter mornings – but personally I prefer lighter evenings.

I used the “extra” hour today to cleanse my home and did some more de-cluttering (does it ever end?) in readiness for Diwali and the Indian New Year next weekend.

A while ago I wrote about my 9 tips to create and extra hour everyday.

But how can you create a few extra hours each day of your life without having to manipulate the clock?

Well, my friend and mentor Steven Aitchison has created a wonderful new guide called “How to Become an Advanced Early Riser” where he shows you how to get 5 hours of sleep each night and still feel fantastic.

As Steven says:-

“This guide will show you exactly how to sleep 5 hours every night and still feel fantastic, whilst being more productive, having more energy, and relaxing more.

Ever wondered what the top achievers in life have in common: they sleep less and achieve more.

This guide is perfect if you want a concise yet detailed program which will show you how to gain an extra 7 – 28 hours per week, time spent on things you love doing the most.”

Now I must admit that though I would love to get by on just 5 hours sleep each day, I usually need 7 to 8 hours. My late father used to get by on 4 hours sleep a night – even to the ripe old age of 78 he was getting up at 3.30 am every day to meditate for a few hours before I was even awake!

I am applying Steven’s guide during the 30 days of November starting on Monday 1st Nov.

In the meantime, I was privileged to interview Steven about his new guide:-

1. You have created quite a resource to help people sleep less and yet sleep better. What was your inspiration and motivation?

The inspiration really comes from writing what I know about. I have been getting by on around 5-6 hours sleep for 13 years or so and totally love the feeling of being able to achieve so much more than I could than if I were to sleep in every morning.

I wrote to my subscribers from Change your Thoughts asking if they would be interested in a guide like this, and surprisingly most of them said they would love to read a guide on How to become an early riser without compromising their energy levels throughout the day.

2. Please describe your product in more detail. Usually ebooks or guides are just that – a single document to read. Why have you gone for MP3s as well?

There are three parts to the guide:

The main guide; Shows you how to get a quality sleep and how to keep your energy levels high throughout the day.

The success log: This is where you can record what your sleeping patterns, your energy levels and your motivations for rising early are just now. It also lets you record your reasons for getting up early and getting less sleep, as motivation plays a huge role in being able to get by on less sleep and get up early. If you are not totally excited about getting up in the morning, your motivation will soon disappear.

The Mp3s: These are four downloads to help you relax when you need to. There are two pieces of relaxation music, one to help you sleep at night and one to help you for relaxation. There is also a guided meditation which will transport you to another place in your mind to help you focus on your intentions in life. The fourth piece is a strange piece of dance trance music interlaced with binaural beats, which has the power to alter your brainwave patterns to induce a burst of energy, which lasts for an hour or so.

3. What’s your suggested approach for using your guide?

Everybody is different and it’s important to find your own way of working with the program. The program has 18 modules to help you, and you can pick and choose the modules which is important to you. Some of the suggestions you may already do, but most of them you can implement to be able to sleep a lot less hours than you do just now.

So my suggestion is to read the full program, do the exercises in the success log, and then start implementing the program to suit your own situation.

You will start to see results in as little as 1-2 weeks. One customer, who is 8 months pregnant, tried the program and reported she is now sleeping 1 hour less per day and is getting a lot more done in her life, which is amazing considering the body hormonal balance changes so much during pregnancy.

4. How did you research and test your teachings?

Most of the research in science states that getting less sleep is bad for you. However I found a major flaw in a lot of the scientific studies. They were mostly based on self reporting evidence, which means it is not based on actual measurable results.

One study which was based on using data from a wrist monitor found that women who sleep between 5 hours and six and half hours were more likely to live longer, that’s a much better study than self reporting as you can see results. However, there are always two sides to the story.

Although I carried out a lot of research I found the best research is on myself. I know exactly how I feel each day and have, in the past, recorded my own energy levels, sleeping patterns and concentration levels.

I found that I concentrated much better in the mornings and got so much more done than I did at night, there’s something about a brand new day that just gets you going.

I figured if I am getting these results, why not dissect what i am doing and then pass that information on to others who might be interested.

5. I am assuming you are now getting by on 5 hours sleep a night. How many hours were you sleeping before? How long did the transition take?

I am sleeping on average 5 hours per night, sometimes four and a half, sometimes 6.

I used to sleep about 8-9 hours per night, but found myself constantly rushing in the mornings, being later for work, and generally just harassed throughout the day, I was meeting myself coming backwards.

That changed when I nearly lost my job for being late and I decided it was time to change. It was also about the same time I was really starting to study the mind and what it was capable of and the first two tests were getting up early and getting up without the help of an alarm clock.

So it was almost an overnight thing, however it took me a few weeks for my body to adjust to the new routine.

6. I notice that you also have other guides already on your website. What’s next for you?

I would love to write a comprehensive blogging course, but I need to do a few more things before that comes out. I have so many ideas which I will run by my list of subscribers and let them be the best judge of what would work.

7. Finally, anything else you would like to add about your product, your blog and what you do?

I would like to add that How to Become an Advanced Early Riser is not for everyone, especially if you are recovering from illness or are currently going through an illness. Like anything else, listen to your own body.

I have so many plans for my blog which should see it become much bigger in 2011. My goal last year, when my blog had 3,000 subscribers, was to reach 10,000 blog subscribers, and I have now reached that figure, to date I have around 14,000 blog subscribers.

I now want to write more posts about blogging and the business of blogging, but realise they will have to be guest posts as my audience won’t really appreciate blogging articles.

I also want to do more blog coaching, more life coaching and much more guest posting.

Thanks Steven for sharing your wisdom with my readers – and congratulations for your success and for creating such a useful resource.

I remember well you telling me a year ago how your target was to reach 10,000 subscribers a year ago – and well done for doing so.

I wish you even more success with all your projects in the coming months and years – the world is a better place because of what you do.

Please check out Steven’s “How to Become an Advanced Early Riser” guide.

And please do share your own tips for sleeping fewer hours:-)

Image courtesy of bdogggut34

10 Lessons from a Spider About Achieving your Dreams

Arvind Devalia — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 18:29:08 +0000

This article comes with a health warning!

Some people are averse to Spiders, but by the time you have read this post, you may well love them!

Last night I saw a beautiful sight. Well, beautiful to me anyway.

Right outside my front door, I saw a giant spider’s web. Just to clarify the web was giant, not the spider, which was perhaps no more than an inch in size.

The giant web was about a metre high and almost the same in width. So believe me, it was giant! And right in the middle of it, beavering away was my new spider friend.

It was easily the biggest spider’s web I have ever seen.

Check out on Facebook the photos I took of my new spider friend.

What I saw last night was to me a masterpiece, a wonder of nature, a work of art.

Okay, spiders may not be your taste (has anyone ever even tasted one?). They may not appeal to you, but they can certainly teach you a few life lessons.

Like them or not, tiny or giant, spiders are incredibly powerful and awe-inspiring. If you ever get a chance, watch how a spider spins its web.

Nature at its most awe inspiring.

That’s what spiders do. They build webs. They are master engineers and they create engineering miracles.

What do humans do? They dream. But only a few of them go on to make their dreams come true.

Will you make your dreams come true? What will it take for you to be the engineer of your life?

Here are some life lessons spiders can teach you about achieving your dreams:-

1. Get started!

A spider doesn’t look for the absolutely best location nor does it do any navel gazing before starting on creating its web.

It instinctively knows where the insects (its food) are hanging out, so it just gets started and once the first few strands have been spun, there is no looking back.

So get started today with whatever you want to achieve in life – don’t wait for that perfect day which will never come.

2. Believe in yourself and what you are building

A spider’s web is incredibly fragile and yet so strong. Last night I tested it by gently blowing on it and it shook quite precariously.

Spiders know what they are capable of spinning. They get started and believe in their natural ability.

In the same way, start working on your dream today and know that you can do it.

Be creative and do the best you can.

3. Thing big and cast your net wide

The most impressive thing about the web I saw last night was just how big it was. I am sure the spider would not have thought of starting small and then one day thinking big.

You too can think big – cast your net high and wide.

4. Persevere with your dream

The web I saw was clearly a lesson in perseverance and must have taken some time.

I am sure that by this morning the web will have been destroyed – either blown away by the wind, or “cleaned up” by a neighbour. And yet the spider will continue to build and start again today and tomorrow.

Be prepared for knocks and challenges – and start again tomorrow.

So start with your dream and don’t worry about it being blown away.

5. Be diligent and hardworking

I have no idea how long the spider took to build its web last night. Maybe just a few hours but in that time, the spider would have worked non stop and diligently until it had created its masterpiece.

You too can learn to be focussed. Work diligently on your dream until it becomes reality.

6. Build everyday

A spider builds a web everyday – or every time the previous one gets blown away, destroyed and simply needs rebuilding or repairing.

Outside my living room window a spider created a web three months ago and I have watched how it’s kind of now settled into that spot. But I am sure if necessary it would start again everyday and build another web.

In the same way, you too can build on your previous days efforts everyday.

Don’t stop and don’t get complacent. Remember the principle of Kaizen and continuous improvement.

7. Create an extraordinary legacy

Would I have even noticed the spider last night if it had created just a tiny little web in one corner of the garden?

Instead, it had created a masterpiece right bang along side the stairs to the front door, so the whole world could see it. Granted, that was probably also the best place to catch its food, but you get my point.

So why be ordinary, when you can be extraordinary?

8. Go alone if necessary

As far as I know, spiders always build their own web and on their own.

So you too can build your dream single-handedly. Of course, do seek out help and guidance from others, but do not rely on others to get started. Don’t wait till you have your “dream team” to start on your dream

Forge ahead on your own – and people who can help you will show up.

9. Don’t seek approval from others.

A spider doesn’t go around seeking approval of its creation, or crave awards from some design council in the insect world.

Just get on with the daily actions that will take you towards your dream. Don’t worry about what others think of you.

10. Start again and again if necessary

So often in life, you will face some knocks and setbacks. But don’t let that hold you back.

A spider doesn’t give up and sulk in a corner every time its web is destroyed. It starts again and again.

In the same way, you too can start again – learn from your experience, remember the lessons learnt and next time do it even better.

“What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.” – Mother Teresa.

Follow your dream.

Remember that building anything worthwhile takes time, effort and dedication. Learn from our spider friends and create your own wonderful web in your life.

And if you are still scared of spiders? Then just remember what they can teach you!

Footnote:- I have been honoured by being invited to feature in the first round of the “Personal Development Face-Off Series by my friend Abubakar Jamil.

You can read what I want my tombstone to say about my life:-)

Please cast your vote – and may the best man win!

Image courtesy of Daren Higham

Personal Development Face-off Series – Round No.1

Why You Are Enough

Arvind Devalia — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:30:20 +0000

Do you ever wonder if you have what it takes?

When was the last time you allowed yourself to just be?

A couple of days ago, I was working with a coaching client and what came up was how sometimes we can feel like there is so much to do and yet so little time. We end up with huge to-do lists which never seem to get shorter and we collect in our head all those actions which we will one day do.

It’s a case of one day, some day, I will do this, visit that place and read that book.

At the same time, we feel that we must do this or that so as to prove ourselves to others. Actually, a lot of the time it’s even about proving to ourselves that we can do or have something.

At the root of this is this sense of not being good enough and therefore having to continuously prove ourselves as worthy.

A lot of my coaching is intuitive and I usually allow the coaching conversation to bubble up and go where it goes.

In this particular session, the phrase “I am enough” came up. And that changed the whole dynamic of the session – and indeed my client’s face even lit up as realisation dawned that actually all was fine and he was enough.

No more things to do, places to go to and people to meet. Just let it be. And everything will fall into place.

As a famous fab four once said, just let it be.

So often the client you attract or even the people you meet are a reflection of what you need to learn most in your life at that time.

For me, that session was a realisation and awareness that I too was pushing myself so much – yes, I have a huge to-do list. And my mind is full of all the things I want to do – or more accurately things I feel I have to do. In my work I have a number of projects ticking over and of course my social life is as busy as ever.

How did I get like this? Well, I have always been driven and determined to do a lot of things in my life. But not if it wears me out and my work and health suffers.

Quality and excellence are very important to me, so I do always go the extra mile with my clients and everything else I do. But at the same time, I have to learn to look after my self first!

My own lesson is this – to always remember that I am enough. I don’t have to do anything to prove this to myself and indeed to others. Just let it be.

And the lesson for you? Of course, you are enough too.

The moment you can accept that you are enough and okay just the way you are, you can create things from an empty space and a place of freedom.

Here’s an exercise for you to carry out right now. Stop what you are doing and pause for a few minutes. Close your eyes. Reflect on what it feels like to know that you are enough.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Just be.

And if you are enough, then what possibilities open up for you?

Ironically, in the last two days, whats happened for me has been a flurry of activity to simplify some areas of my life which were becoming overwhelming. Too many projects and social commitments.

So over the last two days I have let go of a few commitments, and cancelled some planned fun things. Then today I am having a friend help me tidy up my home and make it even more immaculate:-)

Though I actively declutter all the time, we are having a huge decluttering session today – and gone will be my to-do lists and backlog of emails etc.

Maybe you too would like to spend a few hours being ruthless and decluttering your life today, or over the coming weekend.

Just remember my 20 questions to simplify your life forever.

Knowing that you are enough means that you can stop wasting so much energy in trying to prove your worth to others, and indeed to yourself.

You simply begin to cease seeking approval from others.

As Byron Katie put it so eloquently:-

“God spare me from the desire for love, approval or appreciation – amen” – Byron Katie

From today onwards as you rush through life, pause every now and then to remember that you are enough.

See how your life begins to slow down and you truly begin to see the miracles and the beauty around you.

“The more you notice the love, the miracles and the beauty around you, the more love comes into your life.” — Betty Eadie

This idea of accepting that you are enough may seem simplistic for some people, but the simple ideas are usually the most powerful.

So remember always, you are enough.

Please share below your thoughts about being enough – and how you will now see your life differently.

Image courtesy of Wonderlane

The Ultimate Secret to Always Winning in Life

Arvind Devalia — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:00:36 +0000

This is a guest post from Scott Dinsmore.

What motivates you to be your best? Who do you use as comparison to push your limits?

In years of competition from academics to business to athletics and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I’ve found the best competition to be the same person every time: Myself.

You always have been and always will be your own best competitor.

Have you ever worked really hard only to look to someone else and be disappointed that your progress was not as advanced as theirs? Was it frustrating? Did it motivate or demotivate you?

If you’re anything like most of us, this experience probably took the wind out of your sails. You think, what’s the point of working so hard if I still can’t be as good as him or her? When it comes to peak performance, we want to avoid frustration at all cost. If we don’t, it may keep us from reaching our full potential.

Comparison is futile

In a world where comparisons happen non-stop, it is difficult to look outside yourself and to ever be content with who you are. There’s always someone who’s a tad bit better.

The only solution is to reach inside and measure against what Warren Buffett calls your own internal yardstick. There is no more accurate measure for comparison than who you were yesterday, last week or last decade, when you were at your best. Or perhaps the person you know you can be, based on your values, purpose and mission.

Nothing useful ever comes from comparison to others. Either you see yourself as better than someone and you get lazy and perhaps arrogant, or you see someone else as better than you and you feel like all your hard work is for naught.

It’s a fool’s game – none of us is inherently above or below the person next to us. We are who we are – not one of us is exactly alike. The only direct and honest comparison is within yourself. Everything else is apples to oranges.

My rule of thumb is that you are only allowed to compare yourself to someone else if their life situation is identical to your own. Good luck finding that match.

And one thing is for sure. No matter how hard you work and how dedicated you are, there will always be someone who can run a little faster, jump a little higher, score a little better or look a little nicer in a swimsuit. And if there’s not, you can bet someone is coming up fast behind you.

So how can you ultimately always win in life? Become your own best competitor.

3 Reasons Why You are Your Own Best Competitor

1. You will always be motivated. Having an image of your most recent past limits is the perfect thing to push you to the next level. If you ran 7 flights of stairs yesterday, then do 8 today. Who cares if the guy next to you did 15? It doesn’t make a bit of difference. You are a more fit person today than you were yesterday. Your own progress is all you need.

2. You will continuously be your personal best. If you commit to a slightly higher standard of yourself every day, you will always be at the top of your game. And that game will only get better. But if for some reason you fall off your mark, you will always have the past image of your peak performance to show you what you’re capable of.

When Donald Trump went bankrupt, he was asked how hard it was to become wealthy again. He said the first time was by far the most difficult. Once you’ve done it, you know what’s possible and then it’s just a matter of doing it again. Show yourself what you’re capable of.

3. Your coach will forever be with you. You’ll never have to complain that your workout or business partners flaked on you or that they are getting too lazy to keep up. He or she will always be at your side and grabbing at your heels to be sure you’re giving it your all. After all, he is inside you, at your core.

So don’t worry about the others. When it comes to progress, they don’t matter anyway. What matters is that we all have our unique dreams, goals and desires. And then taking the actions and building the habits necessary to live those dreams. No one else wants exactly what you want. So why compare yourself to them?

If you make yourself your one and only best competitor, then you will have already won. Your progress will be nothing but fulfilling and it will stack up to achieve even more in the days to come.

Choose your own path and make comparison impossible.

Robert Frost said that taking the road less travelled has made all the difference. It always has and it always will. The path of the crowd is one overflowing with the “who’s better” mentality. If you choose a career that is hyper-competitive and over-saturated where everyone steps on each others’ toes to get to the top, you are going to be forced to compare yourself to others as they will all be doing the same with you. Comparison will be all too easy.

The interesting thing about the road less travelled is that there is often no one else travelling your exact path. You will see people on similar or familiar looking roads but no one exactly over the top of yours. This provides you with limitless inspirations as you see other people’s journeys but makes comparison nearly impossible.

You don’t even have to try to find a life purpose, career or industry where it’s difficult to compare. If you make one choice: to take the road less travelled, you will have no choice but to measure using your internal yardstick. Nothing else will be accurate. You will be your own best competitor and victory will be yours for the taking. The same will be the case for every one of the people wandering their own paths around you.

If you’re going to play the game, pick your competitor wisely and set it up so you can win.

The notion of comparison will transform into inspiration and encouragement. Your own path and competition will inspire you to be the best person you ultimately can be.

Now go on and embrace your competitive side. See where it takes you.

Read more inspiring articles from Scott Dinsmore at Reading For Your Success where he is committed to making your life and career a success through “action-based reading”. Subscribe here to Scott’s future articles.

Images courtesy of bortescristian, colinedwards99 and Izzard

How You Too Can Win the World Cup

Arvind Devalia — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 22:57:45 +0000

In case you have not noticed, the 2010 Football World Cup started today.

Even if you have no interest in the game and find all the news coverage overwhelming, you can not deny the global appeal of the world’s biggest sporting event which happens every 4 years.

For me it is a very proud moment that the World Cup Finals are being held in Africa, the continent I was born in and for which I will always have a special affinity.

Also, sport has always been one of my passions and I find fascinating any sporting activity, whether individual or team, which tests human capacity for greater proficiency and striving.

What’s the appeal of the World Cup?

It’s a sheer carnival and the biggest multinational party on the planet – and best of all, it brings together people from all around the globe.

As with any mass gathering of people, you do have your fringe elements but at the end of the day the majority of people are there to enjoy a memorable life experience.

Then there are the football matches themselves – a supreme example of individual and team skills – and what human beings can aspire to.

No matter who wins in 4 weeks time, you can rest assured that there is a lot of drama and excitement to come before the new world champions are crowned.

What can you learn from the eventual champions to apply in your life?

A while back, I wrote a post about how to win the world cup of your own life.

So on the day the World Cup kicked off, I thought it was high time to share with you the many useful and relevant articles I have written since my original post.

Here are my tips for winning your own World Cup using the WORLD CUP acronym:-

1 . W – Winning attitude

Winning teams and individual believe in themselves. Reach for the stars and believe in yourself and remember that your attitude determines your altitude.

At the end of the day, in life you are not competing against anyone else. Just strive to do your best in everything you.

Strive for excellence, just begin

Always do your best and get used to “winning” against yourself – that way you will quickly develop a winning habit.

Work hard and aim to win at whatever “game” you are playing.

2. O – Organisation

The team that wins the world cup will be supremely organised with each player knowing his role.

Get organised and first do the most important things in your life. Let go of any distractions / clutter and remain focused on your ultimate goal.

To start with, declutter your life – answer my 20 questions to simplify your life forever.

3. R – Responsibility

Winning players take on their duties and appreciate just what is at stake. Take responsibility for your own life – carry out your duties and fulfill your roles to the best of your ability. No hiding.

Take responsibility for your own life and for the greater world around you – remember that personal social responsibility is here to stay.

4. L – Leadership

Winning teams are usually full of leaders, taking others through thin and thick. Become a leader in your own life – and take yourself to the top. Indeed, everyone is a born leader – just grab the opportunity to shine.

Learn from the best leaders – who better than Gandhi and Mandela to start with?

5. D – Determination

Have the drive, belief and awareness that you can do what you want. Develop an iron resolve to remain focused on achieving your goal and always doing the best you can.

Remember my 10 simple tips for making it happen every day.

At the same time, also be a little selfish

6. C – Courage

It takes guts, audacity and flare to succeed at anything, and especially in the World Cup.

So keep going against the highest odds, believe in yourself and do not let anything stop you.

At the end of the day you area creating your legacy. Remember my 7 beliefs to build your life and your legacy.

7. U– Unity

Winning teams are united and focused on their end goal. Create a winning and united team around you to help you get to your own worthy goal.

Apply my 10 secrets for making people like you and learn how to be best of friends with everyone.

Atthe same time, remember to stop bending over backwards for other people all the time.

8. P – Persistence

Keep going against all odds and do not give up. Tenacity and sticking to it will take you a long way towards your goal.

Be like bamboo and reach for the sky.

At the same time, remember that you can get your goals with less pain and also that “no pain, no gain” is a myth.

May the best team win!

At the end of the day, no matter which team wins the World Cup, it promises to be a month of drama, entertainment and sheer excitement.

Like millions around the world, I am really looking forward to the coming days and weeks and even my fancied teams do not go far in the tournament, it will be a fun time.

In the same way, as you go through your life, enjoy the journey and remember that taking part and doing your best is ultimately more important than winning, whatever “winning” means to you.

The “Cup” or the honour you will give yourself is the knowing that you did your best and you reached for the stars.

So go out and win the World Cup for yourself in your own life.

Enjoy the World Cup everyone – and be sure to invite me to any parties you are holding:-)

Zen of Social Media Marketing and How to Make It Happen

Arvind Devalia — Mon, 17 May 2010 23:52:52 +0000

Just how hot are you on using social media marketing?

Wherever you go, people are talking about social media – in the recent UK election, for the first time, social media tools and especially twitter really caught the public’s imagination

So what’s all this hype about social media?

Is it just about collecting thousands of “friends” on Facebook and Twitter and simply selling them your wares?

Or is it about creating and developing deeper relationships with people who share your values and interests?

Every now and then, I meet someone who is so passionate about what they do, that their enthusiasm and zest for life, and for their work blows me away.

One such person is Shama Kabani, who has been dubbed “an online marketing shaman” and “a millennial master of the universe” by Fast Company.

Shama is the President of The Marketing Zen Group, a full service web marketing firm, and has already won many national and international awards at the tender age of 23.

Today I am delighted to interview Shama who has just published her first book “The Zen of Social Media Marketing”.

1. Shama, I have known you now for 3 years when you were a life coach, and you were blogging about personal development.

We first met via Facebook through a mutual friend.

What inspired you to become a world leader in social media in such a short time? What’s the single most important factor behind your success?

Thanks Arvind for this opportunity to share my passion with your readers.

Short answer is that I enjoy different things. I am an entrepreneur at heart. My love of social media comes from my graduate work in UT.

I studied social networking academically and then it was a natural fit to transition from that to business.

The single most important factor is to consistently INSPIRE yourself.

Inspiration doesn’t just happen, you have to go out there and find ways to ignite your passion.

2. I have heard you speak and have read a lot of your work – your passion and energy for what you do comes through so well.

Your book is going to transform many businesses and many people’s lives. It must be so fulfilling and rewarding for you to see the difference you are making in the lives of others.

Your passion for your work is clearly what’s made you so successful.

What lessons can you share about following your passion?

Thank you! I am so grateful for the genuine liking people have shown the book. It is very rewarding and refreshing at the same time.

Passion is key but it is worthless without discipline. There is nothing sadder than someone who is talented and even passionate about something but has no structure behind it.

Follow your passion but bolster it with discipline.

3. A lot of my readers are interested in personal development and at the same time making a difference.

What are your social media tips for those readers who wish to make the world a better place?

There has never been a better time to build a community and to share your message. This is as easy and fun as it will ever get.

My tip is simple – take the time to build SOLID, QUALITY content and then share it using social media.

The sharing of such content will help you create communities who resonate with your message. Like bees to honey. Invest in the honey. The people will come.

4. You talk a lot in your book about being authentic and being yourself in the online world. This is so relevant in all areas of life.

Can you please expand on this?

Well, I think it takes a lot of effort to be anyone BUT yourself in the world (offline or online). And, it eventually shows through.

I see people, for example, online who seem to come off very enthusiastic smiley faces and all. And then, when you meet them, it is astonishing to find them quite dry.

The world is more and more transparent. If you pretend to be someone else, you will get found out. It is easiest to be yourself and work on cultivating a better you.

No one is perfect, and human imperfection is overlooked. Dishonesty and shadiness is harder to overlook.

5. I am personally passionate about changing the world big time and making a difference in the world.

I am very excited and passionate about using the internet to spread my message and my work.

So I have a question for you based on my personal motives – what social media tips can you suggest I follow to spread my message?

For example, how can I increase the number of my blog subscribers to say 10,000 in a few months time?

The first thing I’d say is don’t focus on 10,000. That is a number and frankly you don’t need that many. You need 1000 who TRULY love what your blog is about. They will re-tweet it, share it on Facebook, email it to friends. Then, you have the reach of 100,000.

I’d say start with compelling content (which you have!) but I’d also add different mediums.

People prefer to take in knowledge differently. Create videos for example. Then, audit your social media systems. Are they up to par? Are you optimizing them fully? For example, Facebook will pull in your blog as part of its notes feature.

Thanks Shama – that really helps. I shall certainly follow your generous suggestions and I shall keep you posted re my progress.

6. People like Bill Gates, Richard Branson and Warren Buffet have all become philanthropists after having been so successful first in their chosen fields.

You too have already become very successful at such a young age and you have created such a high profile on the world stage.

How do you see your role in the bigger scheme of things in the years to come?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What’s your ultimate life mission?

That is quite a compliment. Thank you.

I don’t spend too much time thinking about 5 years down the road oddly enough. I am a reactor. I see opportunity, and if I feel compelled, I react.

My ultimate life mission is simple, do more good than harm.

Be more of an asset to the world than a liability.

Trust in the powers that be, and work hard but don’t struggle.

What is meant to be, will be.

I often joke that God (or the higher power of your choice) protects you more from yourself than anything else.

You may think you want something, but what you need may be completely different. I am open to where life may take me and I trust innately that all is for the best and that things happen the way they are meant to happen.

Thanks Shama – those are quite personal insights about what drives you – but I know that whatever you do in the next 5 years, you will be doing a lot of good:-)

7. Can you please share some final words of wisdom about your philosophy and approach to life?

Do more good than harm. (We all make mistakes!)

Trust in something greater than yourself.

Be open to where life takes you. So many times, people struggle to do something THEIR way. When you let go, greater things than you ever dreamed possible happen.

Life isn’t about taking control – it is about realizing that you don’t have any control and still living it and loving it, no matter what.

Thank you very much Shama for sharing your story and for your words of wisdom. You are truly inspirational.

We wish you the best of luck with your book, and your future career and life aspirations.

Readers who are interested in Shama’s Book can find out more at her book website – “The Zen of Social Media Marketing”.

And so now over to you – how will you use your own passion to make it happen in your life?!

Connect with your passion and share it with the world through social media. You know it makes sense.

6 Secrets to Becoming More Persistent

Arvind Devalia — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 10:47:01 +0000

This is a guest post written by Jen Smith of Reach Our Dreams.

Are you persistent or are you a wimp who gives up at the first sign of difficulty or failure?!

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” - Harriet Beecher Stowe

Being persistent is one of the keys to success in any area of life. But just how can you develop this important skill?

Here are my 6 secrets to help you do just that:-

1. Believe in yourself

There is no shortage of talent in the world, but there is a shortage of self belief and the willingness to keep going even when the odds are against you or when it doesn’t look like you are going to achieve your goals.

We have all seen less talented people achieve more than more talented people, because of their willingness to keep going.

Add self-belief to talent and you can become unstoppable.

Obviously talent or having something of value to add to the world is very important and ideally a combination of the two is ideal, but self belief makes the seemingly impossible possible. Not to be underrated!

2. Be passionate about what you do

Choosing projects that you are passionate about makes being persistent more natural. But if you we go into something half heartedly or because you feel obliged, the hard times seem harder.

If you continuously get stopped in an area and lack the motivation to continue, have a look and see what’s going on.

It might be that you are not really inspired about what you are doing or maybe you have just lost sight of the bigger picture of why you are doing what you are doing.

Either way, life’s too short to be doing things you are not passionate about.

See if you need to change what you are doing or change your perception.

3. Choose your battles wisely

Sometimes a challenge makes you realise that you don’t really want a goal as much as you thought you did.

So you may end up choosing not to be persistent in that area – and that’s perfectly ok.

Challenges can be a way of weeding out what is important to you and reprioritising.

The knack is in being honest with yourself. Do you really want to give up the goal or are you just lacking in self belief?

Only you can answer this question for yourself.

4. Be aware of your own patterns

I know one of my patterns has been to give up “when it gets too hard”.

So now when I have a decision to make about whether or not to continue with something, I ask myself honestly: “where am I coming from here?”

Am I running this pattern again or do I really want to stop doing this?

You might need to learn when to give up and when to be persistent.

Your pattern might be that you never, ever give up even when you are no longer aligned with your original goal anymore.

We are all different and have different patterns.

Being aware of your patterns takes away their power over you, thereby enabling you to take a step back and make an informed choice.

5. Break through the wall

We have all “hit the wall” in or efforts to achieve something. Being aware beforehand that there may be such a wall ahead, makes us forearmed when we hit it.

When this happens it isn’t the time to give up!

Nothing is impossible and there is a way around most things.

A change of attitude or perception may be needed or just the willingness to keep going despite any obstacles.

Time and time again, I have seen that when others and I have “hit the wall”, if you keep going, miracles do happen.

It may be hard but very often the goodies are around the corner, you just can’t see it yet!

When you break through the wall, what seems impossible is transformed. You redefine what is possible for you and your lives, and nothing is the same ever again.

And how inspiring is that!

6. Build on your successes

Celebrating your successes helps you feel good about ourselves and build momentum.

Don’t underestimate the power in this. Some people never see the good in what they do.

Don’t be one of those people who make life very hard for themselves and for whom nothing is ever good enough.

Actively seek out your successes on a regular basis and celebrate!

The way forward

So where in your life will you be more persistent from today? Please do share below – maybe by sharing you will also get some accountability.

Please also share your own past lessons about persistence, so others can learn from you.

Good luck with achieving whatever you want in your life – as Adidas say in their advertising – impossible is nothing!

PS – If you learnt something from this article, please do share it with others on Twitter and Facebook so that they may also learn.

Thanks a lot!

Read more from Jen Smith, a life coach, at Reach Our Dreams.

Photo courtesy of Randy Son Of Robert

28 DRA – Day 9 – 10 Key Secrets for Becoming Likeable