This is a guest post from Eduard Ezeanu who has just launched his Conversation Guide

Just how confident are you around other people?

Are you a mouse in public? Or do you proudly strut your stuff?

When I started coaching over 5 years ago, I didn’t know exactly what kind of coaching I wanted to do. I tried a bit of career coaching, a bit of coaching on communication skills, and so on.

Soon, I discovered what I deem to be my calling as a coach: social confidence coaching.

Helping others develop their confidence in social settings is something that resonates with me because I know what it’s like both to have and to lack social confidence, and also because I realise how big a difference having social confidence can make in your life.

When you’re confident and at ease in social settings, you can have an incredible amount of fun interacting with others, you can build meaningful relationships, you can get noticed and get ahead.

Social confidence can effectively turn a large part of your life around.

Today, I want to give you my top tips on how to overcome shyness and develop social confidence, in the form of a simple guide. There are four of them.

1. Work Specifically On Developing Your Social Confidence

Social confidence is one particular type of confidence. There are also other types. For example, professional confidence – the confidence that you are competent in your job.

Most people make the mistake of trying to improve all of these as a whole. This is a mistake because it’s too much for your brain to handle at once.

The best way to go about it is to work on developing each type of confidence separately.

So, when you work on developing your confidence related to social settings, don’t work on anything else. You’ll make much faster progress.

2. Start from the Inside Out

A lot of people try to boost their confidence around others by gaining and displaying certain external symbols they believe will impress others: dressing with glamour, driving a sports car or flaunting an expensive watch.

While this can help you feel more confident around others, it’s a very superficial form of confidence that can vanish in an instant.

The best way to go about developing your social confidence is to start from within.

You begin by identifying and correcting your limiting beliefs. You build your self-image from within. And as you do so, your confidence gets stronger and more stable

Only after you’ve basically taken care of these internal lairs of social confidence, you should look to add to them some of the external ones as well.

3. Discover Your Strengths

Consciously or not, most people who lack social confidence have this belief that they don’t have anything valuable to offer, that there is no reason for others to like them.

This belief has nothing to do with reality. If anything, it’s an indicator that these people don’t know themselves that well and they’re not in touch with their own qualities.

This is why discovering your strengths is crucial.

So, start looking at yourself more and seek to unveil the qualities you possess. Trust me: you have plenty of them – you’re probably just unaware of many of them.

As you explore your own personality, these qualities will surface.

4. Experiment

Whenever I coach a person who lacks social confidence, we discover nasty beliefs about the consequences of behaving in certain ways in social settings.

For example, they believe that if they ask other people various questions, they’ll find this intrusive and refuse to reply. Or that if they share themselves, others will judge them and reject them.

What I encourage them to do is to behave in these exact ways they believe will attract negative reactions, just as a test, and notice how others truly react!

Almost without exception, they discover that others react much better than they predicted.

This gradually dissolves their limiting beliefs and builds their confidence.

You can apply the same concept and you’ll get the same results. The key is to not yield to your negative beliefs and assume they are valid. Instead, experiment in social settings and see what really happens. You’ll often be blown away by reality.

The Way Forward

Apply these four tips effectively and you’ll see your social confidence steadily go up. You’ll feel more comfortable in social settings, have more nerve, be more social and find it easier to be you.

Once you can do this, creating for yourself a rich and rewarding social life happens effortlessly.

No one will ever see you as a “mouse” any more! And you can be proud to strut your stuff

Check out Eduard’s Conversation Guide – and soon you too will also be strutting your stuff!

Make It Happen Club on Facebook!

Related posts:

1. Stop Acting, Start Living!
2. Why You Should Always Stop to Listen to Music
3. Stop Alcoholism at a Young Age
4. Stop Knocking Against the Wall, Just Hang Out Instead!

So how is your Valentine’s Day going?

No matter what, it really is just another day – if you can ignore all the commercial hype and media pressure. And I know – here’s yet another post for Valentine’s Day!

However, today I would like to invite you to see this day, and every day henceforth as an opportunity to improve all your relationships, not just with a significant other.

A year ago in February 2011, I wrote a post about relationships for the whole month – and I have listed all 28 articles at the bottom of this post for you to go through in your own time.

Before that, I am sharing with you my own favourite relationship posts from my blog.

I invite you to go through all ten posts in your own time – doing so will transform your relationships.

You will get to see what’s really possible for you in all your dealings with people.

Enjoy!

1. Love is All That Matters

Love is not the highly commercialised circus we see around Valentines Day. It is much deeper and much more profound than sending someone a dozen roses at hugely inflated prices. It is much more than candle lit dinners and fancy chocolates.

We all yearn for that deep connection with others, those moments of bliss, joy, completeness. We crave to have many more of those delicious moments we may have had with a romantic partner. And yet, such moments seem so rare and forlorn.

The point is this – love is much greater than what we feel romantically. It is what makes us sing, dance and makes us human.

If there was enough love in the world, we would simply not tolerate a single human being starving.

“There is enough for everyone’s need, but not for everyone’s greed” – Gandhi

2. How to Stop Being a Drama Queen and Become Happy Instead

Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to have so much drama in their lives?

Whereas some people breeze through life, others seem to live from one crisis to another. Some people just seem to crave drama, create drama and look for drama.

Are you one of them!?

Then it’s time to stop from today onwards!

3. How to be Annoyingly Positive and Still Keep your Boring Friends!

Conversely, some people just seem full of beans and energy all the time! And there’s nothing wrong with that.

If you are one of them then there’s only one thing for you to do:-

Spread your optimism & zest for life and infect the whole world

It is good to be positive, high-spirited and with a zest for living life to the full.

At the same time, remain grounded and base your optimism with an underlying reality check – and most importantly continue to be effervescent .

Remember – your positivity and bubbly nature should not be annoying but rather it should always be endearingly infectious. That way at least you will still have some friends – and they too will eventually be just as positive and full of life as you.

4. The Shocking Truth about Being a Nice Person

Then some people are just so “nice”. But what does nice really mean? And how does it support them in their life to be seen as nice?

I used to get very excited whenever someone would tell me: “you’re a really nice guy”. I thought it was a fantastic compliment to receive.

Then I started noticing in my own life and the life of other “really nice” people that this label often came with less than favourable consequences.

I’m not against helping others or being kind. I do think however that many people take this too far and end up sacrificing their own needs in order to please others, thinking that this will solve everything in their lives. And unfortunately, that’s very far from the truth.

Put your needs forward more.

This can imply spending more time doing what you enjoy, asking more for what you want, saying no to others, being more spontaneous, expressing unpopular opinions or ending toxic relationships.

As you move from people pleasing to an assertive approach to life, people will see you differently and treat you differently. And you can still continue to be “nice” .

5. How to Master the Art of Saying Thank You

Do you say “thank you” like you mean it or do you just say it casually and almost apologetically?

The key is very simple – you really have to mean it when you say thank you!

People really get it when you genuinely mean something and also when you are just going through the motions.

Put yourself on the receiving end of being thanked – I bet you remember well the few times when someone has truly shown their appreciation.

The most beautiful thing about truly thanking someone is that it creates a deeper and instant bond between people.

6. How to Live with Acceptance and Friendship Every Day

What sort of world will our children have in 20 to 30 years from now? What’s our legacy going to be for them?

Imagine how all of our relationships would change instantly, if we refrained from criticism, hostility, ridicule and shame.

So from today, get committed to live with tolerance, encouragement, praise, fairness, security and approval.

Most importantly, I feel we should live with acceptance and friendship.

By treating every other human being with acceptance and friendship, all the other good things about people relationships will follow too.

7. Why you Should Always Look for the Talent in Others

Are you quick to judge others on how they look, how they are dressed or how they speak?

Do you value others or rate them as being worthy or significant?

The point is this – just how often do you truly stop and fully appreciate other people?

So here is my invitation to you all – from today onwards, treat every person you meet as the greatest and most interesting human being on the planet.

And you know what, give them your presence and your time, and they will grow into your highest vision for them.

You can be the master and with your touch, you can raise the people in your life to the highest levels possible.

Positive and dramatic change can happen in the world, if more of us begin to hold a higher vision for ourselves and others.

Let’s begin today.

8. Become Human, Take a Bus Journey

One great thing about living in a multicultural city like London is that you get to see and meet people from all parts of the world.

And what better way to see such people than on a London bus?

Go on a bus journey through your own city or town.

You will see that people are just people, no matter where you are in the world.

Next time you are on a bus or even a train, look around at your fellow passengers. Look beyond the superficial wrappings and their personal armour. Look for the real human being within and their core humanity.

You get my point – people are people – regardless of their ethnicity, religious beliefs, country of birth. They have the same hopes and dreams – and they face the same challenges as you and me.

“Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power but in character and goodness. People are just people and all people have faults and shortcomings, but all of us are born with basic goodness.” – Anne Frank

Yes, they are just like you and me.

The other common thing of course is that everyone loves their children, even Muslims.

9. Stop Bending over Backwards for Other People!

Do people always seem to take advantage of you? Do you feel that you are being taken for granted?

And it is a cliché, but have you ever been taken for a ride?!

We can all sometimes feel overlooked, ignored or made to feel that we didn’t count.

Know that your needs count and you are important.

The phrase that comes to mind here is that perhaps you are bending over backwards to help someone.

Do cultivate peaceful relationships with equal give and take; and do tolerate those around you as long as they don’t infringe on your space – and you will never again feel that you are bending over backwards for others.

It is always good to be nice to others but start with being nice to yourself first.

To help others and make it happen, first help yourself by strengthening your own self-respect.

10. Stop being an approval seeking machine

Are YOU an approval seeking machine?

Do you go through life for ever seeking love, appreciation and approval from others?

Well, if so then welcome to the human race. We all seem to be genetically programmed to seek from others what we feel we don’t have within ourselves.

Let’s start with the importance of not seeking approval from others all the time.

“Spare yourself from seeking love, approval, or appreciation—from anyone. And watch what happens in reality, just for fun.” Byron Katie

So much of our life energy is spent on getting approval from others. Most of us are simply approval seeking machines!

Imagine what your relationships would be like if you didn’t constantly seek love, approval or appreciation from anyone!

If you pause and reflect on this, you will realise that almost everything you do is to seek love and acceptance from others. But the moment you cease to do so, you are free.

You suddenly get a boost of energy and you are no longer held back by the fear of what others think of you.

At the same time, it’s okay to appreciate others for what they are and what they do.

Just don’t base your entire life on what others think of you.

For today, just try this. Say or do what you want because you want to do so and not because you want something from someone.

The way forward

On this Valentine’s Day, the way forward is easy – share all the love you have with all the people in your life.

Sounds simple doesn’t it. And maybe it is.

You and I just have to make it happen now .

“The love you fail to share is the only pain you live with right now in your life” – Shore Slocum

———————————————————-

Postscript – Here are the complete 28 articles from my relationship series from Feb 2011.

Please do check them all out

(And bookmark them and share them as you wish)

1 – Become Aware of Your Relationships

2 – Love Yourself First Before Loving Anyone Else

3 – Love Yourself Without Becoming Full of Yourself

4 – Love is all that matters

5 – 9 Simple Tips To Create Energising Relationships

6 – Why Decluttering your Friends is Good for You and Them

7 – Stop Bending over Backwards for Other People!

8 – Be Special to Find the Special One

9 – 10 Key Secrets for Becoming Likeable

10 – Don’t Fall in Love – Create Love

11 – Do you Believe in Soulmates?

12 – Open Your Heart and Find the Special One

13 – Create your ideal Valentine’s Day

14 – Make it a Fun Valentine’s Day Everyday!

15 – Make Your Relationship Even More Special

16 – Learn to Love Unconditionally

17 – 11 Keys to Improve ALL Your Relationships

18 – Why the Human Touch is Key

19 – How NOT to Make Friends!

20 – Share Your Love with Your Loved Ones Everyday

21 – Stop Judging, Start Loving

22 – Simple Trick to Instantly Improve All Your Relationships

23 – Why No One Is Ever An Ugly Duckling!

24 – Why World Compassion Begins With You

25 – Why Teamwork Always Begins with YOU

26 – How to Let People Go From Your Life

27 – Thank the Divine Every Day

28 – Stop Being An Approval Seeking Machine

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Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

 

“In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes” – Andy Warhol.

Are you aware of just how much time you waste each day?

Would you be shocked if I told you that every day you are squandering away hours and hours of your precious life?

Let’s look back on your day today. Or look back on yesterday if you are reading this post early in the morning.

How many times did you check your inbox? Opened the same email without taking any action? Checked Facebook or some other social media account? Handled the same piece of paper?

At this point, just look back and see how what productive and non- productive activities you carried out at work.

Also, if you are like most people nowadays, away from work your day may be filled up with superfluous activities, watching news, gossiping etc – you get my drift.

My point is this – you only have 24 hours in each day – and so many of those hours are simply frittered away. Wasted. Gone. Forever.

So much of your time is also taken up with waiting activities where you are simply waiting such as in a queue or holding on at one end of the telephone.  Or you are in limbo whilst you are waiting for someone to deliver something or finish their part of a job.

Before you know it, the day is gone followed by another day just as interwoven with fruitless activities. And that’s how life goes on.

Now supposing I shared a secret which will revolutionise your life and your timekeeping?

Success in life comes in 15 minute chunks.

Mastery of anything begins with 15 minutes of intense focus, followed by another 15 minutes and so on.

You and I get to transform the world in 15 minute chunks.

It really is as simple as that!

Devote yourself totally to any activity for 15 minutes, and you are most likely to be fully focused and involved. And then watch the creative juices flow.

And that’s the other thing – so often we wait and procrastinate, waiting for the right time for some magical inspiration to come. But if we keep waiting, it may never come!

There never is any need to wait for the inspiration to come or to get motivated.

That’s just another excuse for procrastination!

The key is to get started on any activity and keep going for 15 minutes.  And build on that.

Here’s a challenge for you from today onwards. No matter what sphere of work you are in, focus on working in 15 minute chunks:-

• Clear that in-box in just 15 minutes!
• Write that article.
• Make those long put off telephone calls today.
• Pay your bills online.
• Get any drab, boring bits done in just 15 minutes.
• Go for a brisk 15 minute walk.
• Practice on your musical instrument.
• Simplify your meals and diets

There is so much routine stuff you can get done and out of the way in simple 15 minute chunks – and then you can clear the deck for the real creative stuff.

Or better still, get started with the real creative stuff whilst you are fresh.

Whenever you have 15 minutes to “spare”, just do what you have to.

Take that report you have to read next time you are likely to be waiting in a line or at the dentist for example. Or take an inspirational book with you to read rather than flicking through some mindless gossipy magazines

Create more 15 minute chunks in your day by eliminating:-

• Reading junk papers.
• Mindlessly surfing gossipy websites
• Checking inbox incessantly
• Following social media updates
• Toxic conversations with friends or co-workers

A worthy life of passion and inspiration is created in 15 minute chunks.

Take every chance you can to make it happen.

Focus on that one activity that will transform your life – imagine how your life will change if you became highly proficient at whatever you choose to do.

It can be an activity related to your work, business or a hobby. And actually you can apply this rule in all areas of your life.

Of course relaxing in 15 minute chunks is equally valid and important!

Try meditating for 15 minutes at a time, once or twice a day and watch how you naturally feel calmer and at peace. But that’s for a future post.

For today, just commit to making your life work in 15 minute chunks. You will never look back.

And in case you are wondering, I did draft this article in just 15 minutes – whilst I was on a 15 minute bus journey .

What can YOU do today in 15 minutes that will transform your life?

Once you have begun to apply this rule in your life, you’ll create even more time for more creative and inspirational activities.

Where can you get more inspiration and ideas?

One suggestion I have for you is to bookmark and check out these 5 inspirational and educational posts from my blogger friends. You can read through each article in 15 minute chunks .

Enjoy!

1. Develop Your Intuition

2. Romance Yourself

3. Learn 150 Bold Tips about Life, People and Wisdom

4. Discover how free you really are!

5. Eat healthily on a budget

Here’s to an inspired life built in 15 minute chunks…

Related posts:

1. Transform your World in Just a Minute
2. Light Up the World in Just One Minute!

When was the last time you went without solid foods for a week?

If you haven’t ever done so, here are some tips to do so easily and to enjoy it at the same time.

It’s now a week since I finished my Green Juicing Fast – and what a journey it’s been!

For a few days afterwards whilst my body adjusted to solid food again, I almost wished I was back on my juicing fast.

The key learning for me was this – most of us eat much more than we need to!

The body uses up so much energy to digest and clear out the “junk” food which we eat – and when we stop eating such food, our body has so much more energy for us. We feel that much more vibrant, healthy and alive!

 “I saw few die of hunger; of eating, a hundred thousand.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

A while back, I carried out a wonderful five day detox with just apple juice, but this time I was able to have other vegetables too.

I highly recommend that you too undergo a Green Juicing Fast as soon as you can. It could be life changing experience.

As Farnoosh Brock says in her Green Juicing Guide:-

Remember that the juice fast is an excellent time to reflect on your eating habits, your lifestyle and even your life. Take the time to really focus on the emotions you will experience, and learn to listen and understand your body better. Since you are making such a tremendous commitment, be determined to reap all the benefits that you can.

And these are my learnings – to help you with your own Green Juice Fast:-

1. Take stock of where you are now

First thing you can do is to review just where you are now. If you look at your current eating regime, you’ll be surprised how much processed food you currently eat.

I thought I had a fairly healthy diet but around Xmas and New Year time I had let it go a bit.

I was shocked to find out how much processed food had built up in my kitchen over the Xmas period.

So I decided to take drastic action and cleared out most of the processed foods in the picture.

You may not be ready to take such drastic action, but I challenge you to be honest with yourself and look at your larder. What processed foods can you stop eating!?

“We never repent of having eaten too little”~ Thomas Jefferson

2. Be Totally Committed to the Juice Fast

You do need to commit to the juice fast for a set number of days.

I chose to do mine for 5 days but you could choose 7 days or more depending on your intention and circumstances.

It does take a lot of planning, preparation and commitment to keep going.

Be committed – no half measures!

3. Be Disciplined

Once you do make this commitment, you’ll need the discipline to maintain your juicing regime.

It does take time and effort to source the best vegetables, juice them and to clear up afterwards. And of course it takes discipline to keep going for the duration of your fast.

I found it got easier after the first 2 days to remain committed to the juice fast, as my body adjusted and it began to thrive on highly nutritious juice.

4. Take Total Self-CareReview

You do feel tired some of the time during the fast so allow yourself plenty of free time and rest periods.

Also do not take on heavy social commitments or do your fast during a busy work period.

Your body does a lot of detoxing during the green juice fast so you want to give it plenty of tender loving care.

I cancelled all social commitments and spent a lot of talk on my own and walking in nature. These gentle walks also helped in my preparation for the London Marathon in April.

Also, the juice fast affected my sleeping pattern as suddenly I had lots more energy and I couldn’t fall asleep till late. But though I slept less, it was a much deeper and relaxing sleep.

5. Observe and Change your Eating Habits.

The greatest benefit of a juicing fast is your increased self-awareness about your eating habits.

Like me, you may discover just how much “junk” food you eat – and with this awareness you will naturally start eating less junk food and eat more nutritious, vibrant food.

You will also learn how much grazing you really do!

The other learning is you get to see how you dissipate your natural energy by focussing so much on food. When you know you are going to be consuming a healthy green juice every few hours, you don’t waste time on preparing and planning your usual meals.

6. Create a Support System

The best part of my Green Juice Fast was having someone else do it with me at the same time.

Farnoosh Brock undertook the fast at the same time as me and it was great to work with a juicing buddy, albeit virtually.

So when you undertake your fast, do also buddy up with someone – it will make your juicing journey even more fun.

It gave us a chance to discuss what was going for each other.

7. Enjoy!

The best part for me was to be able to try out different juices and to learn Farnoosh’s recipes in her Green Juicing Guide.

By the end of the 5 days, I did feel much more energised, clearer in the mind and healthily rested. My facial skin felt softer and clearer – and I look even younger

Just one word of caution – you do have to break your juice fast gently as otherwise you might get belly aches or headaches. The body takes time to adjust to “normal” food again.

Summary

Living on vibrant, healthy, living food in juice form is clearly good for us.

I highly recommend that you do try out this five day detox via juicing – it could be a life changing experience for you!

I thought I knew a lot about juicing already but Farnoosh has taught me a lot more and has inspired me to try out her 10 juice recipes and make them part of my daily diet.

With Farnoosh’s 10 recipes, you’ll never need to look any other juicing recipes or books. These green juicing recipes will keep you energised and vibrant for the rest of your life –all you have to do is try out one or more every day.

Check out Farnoosh’s Green Juicing Guide for yourself. And do let me know how you get on.

You just know that detoxing regularly makes sense – and you might as well do it the fun way!

Who else is taking up the juicing challenge?

Please share your experiences below

Related posts:

1. How to Detox in Five Days with Apple Juice
2. Time to Detox and Start Fresh
3. Detox your Body and Your Life!
4. Enjoy your Gifts and your Gold whilst you Can!

Do you consider yourself too old to succeed in life? Or too young?

Maybe you even think that you are too grown up to paint!

It’s a cliché but age is only in the mind – only last weekend Lydia Ko became the youngest player ever to win a professional golf tournament at the mere age of 14.

It was a stunning achievement by someone just starting out in life – she beat many players who were twice her age.

To me, age is no barrier to greatness. Only this afternoon I was interviewed by my friend, Kavit Haria who is an inspiration to me and so many others.

I have watched Kavit’s progress from a mere 17 year old, just a few years ago and he has now blossomed into one of the world’s top marketers, both online and offline.

Then recently I was contacted by Yongho Shin who just blew me away with his wisdom, focus and drive.

Yongho interviewed me for his blog which you can check out here.

Today, I am delighted to share with you Yongho’s inspiration and wisdom. Sit back, read and make some notes:-

1. Yongho Shin, you seem to have done so much personal development and self-growth as such a relatively young age. I wish I had the same awareness and wisdom when I was your age! How did this journey begin for you?

Haha, I wish I knew what I know now, five years ago. But I’m still very happy with where I am.

I grew up in Ridgewood, New York – a pretty ghetto small neighborhood on the border of Queens and Brooklyn. Between the time my family moved here when I was 1 year old, up until junior high school, I’d been mugged, seen my friends get shot, had bullets pierced our apartment windows, attacked on the street, had our car accessories stolen, doors broken into.

I just assumed this was how everyone’s life was, because it’s all I ever saw for 17 years. I lived pretty sheepish, angry, complained about a lot of things. I lived a “life of quiet desperation” I can honestly say, looking back.

My first biggest AHA! with personal development was with my weight loss. I used to be a fat Asian guy, 5’5″, 199 pounds. No muscle. Not the sexiest guy on the block. I used to sweat a lot, probably because I had to carry so much lard on my belly.

Do you know Nerds candy? The sugar coated little candy pebbles sold in the little boxes?

My parents would buy them not in boxes, but CASES! In bulk from Costco. There are 24 Nerds boxes per case, and I averaged eating 2 cases per week for nearly a year. It’s pretty crazy I managed to do that. I ate 50 Nerds boxes a week!

I was so embarrassed to visit my dentist every 6 months, because he would always shake his head in disapproval, telling me to take better care of my teeth. But I always gave in to the sugar addiction, and my teeth just got worse and weaker, and my belly got larger and wider.

I looked into how to lose weight, and I saw the usual nonsense: weight loss pills, surgery, miracle foods, yadda yadda. It all looked too dangerous and complicated, so I started with something really small. We had a treadmill at home, so I said “how about I just walk half a mile?” Half a mile was doable, even though I never exercised.

I did it! I think it took me about half an hour to finish, and it felt funny exercising for so long, but I was glad I did it. I kept at it and stopped eating so many Nerds and eating healthier. Fast forward 4 months, and I lost 35 pounds!

Pretty exciting and I was in my best shape that I’d ever been in.

(Secret tip – If you want to lose weight but can’t get yourself to eat right/exercise: START SMALL! Don’t try to change your life, just change one meal. Or walk half a mile. It’s small but it’s doable, and it’ll get you moving in the right direction)

2. I am particularly intrigued by your cultural background and family heritage. Please tell us more about your roots and your family.

I’m Korean. Whenever I say that to people I meet, 90% of them ask:

“North or South?”

It’s incredibly difficult to leave North Korea unless you have special permissions. I’ve only met one North Korean in my whole life, and his family left by sneaking onto a cargo ship from N Korea to China, then another cargo ship from China to US.

But I’m from South Korea – the land of high-density foot traffic, endless rounds of Soju (Korean alcohol). And inverted California rolls, which happen to be my favorite food – it’s called “kimbab” if you want to Google it to see how delicious it is. Born in Seoul, South Korea and moved to the US when I was 1 year old, so I’m pretty Americanized.

3. Your name is very symbolic. Please tell us more. In your culture, what’s the symbolism of a dragon? And a tiger?

My name is “Yongho.” I used to hate my name because so many people misspelled and mispronounced it. In high school, I hated it so much that I told everyone to call me David, a nickname I made up on the spot in Spanish class. I always wondered why I couldn’t get a name easier to pronounce, like John or Bob.

One day, my father explained to me why he named me Yongho. Here’s something very few people know:

If you travel to ancient temples in South Korea, you’ll often see “Yongho” written on their front doors. Why?

In Korean, “Yong” means dragon and “ho” means tiger. Dragon and tiger represent the ultimate combination of offence and defence, a team so strong that people believed any temple protected by these two creatures was impossible to break into.

…and just like that, I went from hating my name to loving my name.

I have the most badass name on the planet! Who else has a name so powerful ancient Korean emperors pasted them on their castle doors?

Do you think a name like “Arvind” would protect you from hordes of soldiers?

Don’t think so.

Just kidding, Arvind!

4. You have been exposed to the work of some of the world’s top personal development experts. Can you please share some of their wisdom? (How about one piece of life-changing advice from say 12 different teachers?)

My library is overflowing with books on personal development, marketing, entrepreneurship, social psychology, leadership, and just kicking ass in general. I’ve learned from so many great teachers who’ve made a huge impact in my life, from Tony Robbins to Jim Rohn to Brian Tracy and Stephen Covey.

I’d love to share all I know, but from speaking and promoting seminars for over 35,000 people now, I know that dumping information will only confuse you. There’s so much clutter and nonsense and spam going on today, so I’m not going to give you 12 pieces of advice, because it’ll just add to your confusion.

Instead, I’ll share what I’m pretty confident is most helpful for 99% of the people reading this, and probably you:

Decide what you’re NOT going to do.

Consciously take time aside and decide what goals you won’t do, what relationships you won’t keep up, what dreams you won’t pursue, what projects you won’t invest time in. When you decide what is NOT on your list, it frees your time to work on what’s most important for you.

It’s why I don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account, and check email rarely. Having an extra 1000 casual Twitter followers is not as valuable (for me) as meeting someone face to face and building a true, deep relationship.

I’m also a pretty ruthless minimalist, and I’m down to a record low number. Some people are proud to only own 50 things, some are even lower, and Gandhi had less than ten. I won’t say what my number is now, but if you’re a minimalist, come to my website and subscribe, because I’m going to share what number I’m at and how I reached it.

5. So what’s next for you? When do we get to attend YOUR lectures and workshops?

I’ve spent the past 2 years promoting seminars and events for other experts, from Chris Guillebeau to Jonathan Fields to Chase Jarvis and Jenny Blake, and it’s been awesome – I loved attending each one. I’ve also been on the official TEDx Team for TED Conferences, where I helped manage over 4000 TEDx events in the world.

The biggest piece I see for opportunity (and this is the space I’m going to fill) is live interaction with the audience. So many seminars are about pushing one way from speaker to audience, but the real magic happens when the audience participates.

I’m grateful to have sold out every event I promoted in the last two years, and for 2011 and beyond, I’ll be coming out from behind the scenes. I’ve already got a hot interactive training program in the works now about being productive, performing at your best, and boosting your physical, mental, and emotional energy to live your best life, so you can look forward to that program! (If you’re lucky enough to sign up before it’s full)

6. If you had some final words of wisdom for us what would that be? If you could change the world in a big way in 2012, how would you do it?

I’d love to get to know you personally (yes, YOU, the person reading this right now) because with just a blog post, I’m forced to give general advice that hopefully helps everyone reading. But I can’t touch on a lot of specific things that would really make a difference in your life.

So I’ll share something personal, and an issue that people tend to not reveal about themselves.

In the past, I would go in and out of episodes of strong depression. It was pretty bad, from “eh, there’s not much living for” to “I’m causing shame for everyone”. I won’t go into details, but if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I just want you to know that I can relate to that, and know what that feels like.

Here is one incredibly valuable tool that’s helped me get out of depression and give a new sense of purpose in my life, in a pretty weird but exciting way:

“Everything that happens to you is neutral and meaningless. The human brain gives meaning to meaningless events. If something is making you happy, excited, angry or depressed, it has nothing to do with the event itself. It’s an emotional response that your brain creates.”

If you feel angry, sad, disappointed, or any negative emotion right now, please read the sentence above again.

Here’s what I mean by that statement, and no it’s not just some airy-fairy positive thinking:

Let’s say I tell you right now “You are the most disgusting person I’ve met.”

What does that mean to you?

• If you view it as a personal attack, you may become angry and defensive. (because someone is criticizing your identity)

• If you view it as a statement of who you honestly are, you may become sad. (because you don’t want to be disgusting, yet you feel powerless to change it)

• If you view it as a regular sentence that has no meaning, then you might not be affected by it at all. (because it’s like staring at a piece of dust on the floor)

• If you view it as a joke, then you may laugh. (because you see it as a playful banter)

The words themselves have no objective meaning, it’s the MEANING your brain subconsciously give them that makes you feel depressed or excited or sad or happy.

You always have the power to change that meaning (“reframe”), and so you always have control for how you feel about anything “negative” or “positive” someone says.

You can choose to hate when someone hugs you, or choose to love when someone hurts you.

It’s up to you, not outside circumstances.

Isn’t that awesome? It’s like you’ve discovered a superpower to never be sad or upset, no matter what happens.

7. Finally share with us something you have never told anyone else?

You’re pushing the envelope here, Arvind! But I want to taste your fine Indian cooking one day, so I’ll let you (and your readers) in on a secret:

(I’m telling this in public for the first time, and I’ll probably mention it nowhere else so read this while it’s hot!)

Freezing-cold rain. Hurricane-worthy winds. Darkness.

I’m wearing a razor-thin shirt so drenched I can’t stop my body from shivering. My goosebumps look like peas. I’m not alone – more than a hundred people are with me, wondering when this torture will be over.

What am I doing here?

It’s 2009, and I was representing Carnegie Mellon University’s varsity rowing team in a national rowing competition in the United States. Rowing races are usually done in the mornings, and that day just happened to be unusually cold.

But here’s my secret:

I was never supposed to be part of that race because I failed the test to get into the team.

Every member of the rowing team is required to know how to swim, so just in case a boat flips over in the middle of rowing, we don’t drown.

I failed the swim test, so technically I couldn’t join the team at all. But nobody brought it up during training, so I continued training and kept quiet about the swim test, and eventually was invited to join the varsity rowing team for my school.

(I still don’t know how to swim.)

Remember the reframing tool I mentioned earlier? I used the same thing here. After I failed the test, I could’ve become sad and interpreted that event as “I’m not good enough to be on my school’s rowing team. I should just give up”.

But the meaning I gave that event was “This test is meaningless. I can become a great rower even if I don’t know how to swim.” And I felt empowered to challenge and grow myself, rather than cry and complain about the swim test requirement.

So there it is: I joined my school’s varsity rowing team even though I didn’t even qualify to train.

I also didn’t qualify to work at a rather well-known organization that I mentioned somewhere in this post, but… I’ll save that secret for a future time. I’ll let my subscribers know about it, so if you’re curious, hop on over to my website and subscribe to my newsletter.

Thanks Yongho for a great interview! I wish you well on your journey and we look forward to hearing more about your adventures and projects.

Please click here to learn more about Yongho. And be sure to also check out my interview with him.

And as I said at the beginning of this post, youth is no barrier to success – and neither is “old age”!

From today onwards, put your age out of your mind and go for your dreams – you know it makes sense.

Please Help to Spread the Word

Please tell your friends about Make It Happen by using the share buttons below.

Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Arvind

Top Image courtesy of iotae

Related posts:

1. Green Juicing – Your Secret to Health, Vitality & Youth in 2012
2. Why There Are No Ordinary People – Just Look for Their Greatness
3. How to See the Beauty and Greatness in Any Tragedy

Have you ever suffered great sadness?

Has life dealt you such a blow that you wondered if you’ll ever recover?

Every day we face so many challenges in our daily lives which can knock us out of our stride and daily routine.

Yet in the greater scheme of things, what most of us consider to be a challenge is usually nothing!

So what if your train to work was late or you got stuck in traffic on your way to an “important” meeting!?

What I am talking about here is life changing events and challenges that we sometimes face.

For example, in the last few weeks, I have had a friend losing her elderly mother after a long illness during which she lost most of her faculties. It was so painful for my friend to see her mother deteriorate like this  – she felt so helpless and sad as nature took its course.

Another friend I saw over Xmas after a year, has just made a full recovery from a serious illness after a year’s intense treatment. During that time she became a hermit and cut communications with most people and it was heartening to see her looking so good and healthy.

And today, I received a very moving and yet heart-warming email from a friend whose newly born baby boy is seriously ill and faces a number of operations.

I have often written here on my blog about making the most of our life and our time on this planet. And I have also talked about how there’s always a brighter side to everything and how we should always try and be positive.

A while ago I wrote about how to suffer excruciating pain and live again.

The point is this – life can be so tragic and yet so inspiring and uplifting.

What is the greater meaning behind all this suffering and pain?

If you believe in a greater power – god, source, energy, universe or whatever you choose to call it – why does this greater power allow such things to happen!?

I always remember the closing line in this famous story about baseball kids allowing a physically challenged boy called Shay to join their game and hit the winning run.

At the end of that story, Shay’s father says with tears rolling down his face -

‘That day ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.

So this is really what it is all about.

Your life and mine is all about bringing a piece of true love and humanity into this world.

Period. Nothing else matters.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

A few weeks ago, Caroline McGraw, a friend from the other side of the pond sent me details of her new book called Love’ Subversive Stance – Ground Yourself & Grow in Relationship.

The book is all about growing in love in all our relationships. And surely, at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Caroline writes so beautifully about her relationship with her younger brother Willie who has autism and is considered by the world to have an “intellectual disability”.

On her blog, Caroline writes about finding meaning in our most challenging relationships and in her book she outlines how when we love someone with an intellectual disability, that loving changes us.

Her book teaches us about how we can truly learn about ourselves through our relationships – and the end result is we become a better and more loving person. And the whole world is a better place:-).

We are not who we once were and we are ready for more.

“The grace of God means something like:
Here is your life. You might never have been, but
you are because the party wouldn’t have been
complete without you.”
~Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking

At the end of the day, this is what it really comes down to – we humans are such powerful beings and we are capable of facing any heart- rending challenges.

We can face and overcome anything – and best of all we are capable of showing such deep and intense compassion and kindness that it breaks one’s heart (if that’s ever possible since our hearts are SO big).

The take way from this post is this – part of the human condition is to suffer heart-rending pain, go through the loss of loved ones and face umpteen other challenges in the course of our lives.

Ultimately we get to discover who we really are!

And the moment we dare to be vulnerable and we reveal our true selves, the journey becomes easier and indeed even joyful.

I wish all of you well on this amazing journey of life.

Check out Caroline’s book here.

Please Help to Spread the Word

Related posts:

1. Let your Inner Beauty Blossom
2. Why There Are No Ordinary People – Just Look for Their Greatness
3. Why Youth is No Barrier to Greatness

Just how healthy and fit are you?

Are you energised, full of vitality and youthful? Or are you over-weight, drained and getting old before your time?

To create a big and bold life for yourself, you need to be in optimum health and to eat the most nutritious foods. Just as important is to regularly detox your body and to rest your digestive system.

“Let food be your medicine and medicine your food.” – Hippocrates

Today I am delighted to interview my friend Farnoosh Brock who blogs at Prolific Living about her new “Green Juicing Guide”

Farnoosh’s new product is a very comprehensive “Guide to Green Juicing”, and it also comes with a bonus – “Your Juice Fast Guide”, which takes you through a 5 day juice fast.

Whilst speaking to Farnoosh last week, I suggested that we should try out her 5 day juice fast together. She didn’t hesitate and took up the gauntlet – and so here I am, already on the first day of my “fast”.

I’ll write another post in 5 days time about my experience of this fast – but in the mean time, here’s Farnoosh:-

1. So Farnoosh, here we are about to start this juice fast together. Tell us more about how you got into this way of healthy eating and why juicing?

Arvind, I got into green juicing in a fleeting moment – it was so sudden!

4:30am, I was watching an infomercial by the wonderful Jack Lalanne, and I was intrigued beyond control.

I am in love with fruits and vegetables so it was a natural next step to explore them in a different state, beyond cooked, baked or salad state!

Then I found out how delicious and refreshing and beneficial green juicing is so it became a part of my life.

I have done lots of other things: vegan diet, raw food challenges, vegetarian diet, green smoothies but there is something about green juicing that is pure, simple, and phenomenally good for the body, mind, skin and heart.

You’ll see. You’re doing a juice feast with me now!

2. Why GREEN juicing?

Well, let me first define it: a green juice doesn’t mean all the juices we make are from green vegetables. It means that you have some vegetables in the mix.

Ideally, yes, a green juice is green and mainly vegetables but a beet-carrot-ginger juice is also a green juice to me.

Green means vegetable. And the reason I focus on green, although I do have fruit juices as well, is because of the low to almost-zero sugar content, lower acid content and the higher nutrient and antioxidant content of most vegetables compared to fruits.

I really think vegetables, in raw form or juice form, in a reasonably good to large quantity, can be your salvation and your return to health.

3. You look so healthy and fit in your videos and photos. Do you really need to do juicing? Or maybe the juicing came first?

Can all my readers end up being as vital, healthy and full of life as you? What about me? Can I!?

Let me address all of these wonderful questions.

First, I don’t *need* to do juicing, no. I enjoy it immensely and I love what it does to my body and mind.

The reason I look fit and healthy is my holistic lifestyle, from yoga and exercise to taking care of my body and skin and eating well and avoiding alcohol and stress and even toxic relationships and environments.

It’s not one thing that makes for a healthy body and mind and it is a good thing to pay attention to everything going on in your life when you take the journey toward your best health.

Your vitality lies in many areas and you can revive it and take it back with some very simple steps.

Juicing has had tremendous effects on my body.

I really believe that juicing combined with my Oolong and green tea habits have made my digestive system more robust than it ever was in my early 20s!

And juicing can be for everyone; you just have to know what you are doing and how to get started and I outline all of this step-by-step in my Green Juicing Guide.

All your readers, my readers and everyone can be full of vitality and health if they first set the intention to do so and then take tiny steps – not even large ones but small tiny ones – to get there.

You are included in this category, naturally:-).

4. What precautions should we take if any before starting on your juice fast?

Great question! I am so glad you asked because you really do need to be careful.

You need to try to eat very well even before you start the juice fast, ideally, go on a raw-food diet or a vegetarian diet before your fast for a few days and just eat fruits and vegetables the day before the fast.

You need to do it at a time where your social and work life is not very intense and at a time when you can give yourself some quiet time for reflection and meditation.

You also need to carefully monitor yourself and make sure you are staying rested and have the chance to rest when you need it.

If you are interested in more, I outline every single step of the juice fast in the bonus guide that comes with the “Green Juicing Guide” and share with you my lessons from my 5-day juice fast.

Both guides come in PDF version, Amazon Kindle version and ePub version i.e. you get all 3 versions in this package and you can use any version that suits you best.

Also, this is a comprehensive step-by-step guide that teaches you all you need to know about green juicing.

It assumes no previous knowledge on your part, so that’s why it covers all the basics and the essentials as you embark on your juicing adventure.

And it answers all the questions you have, including the ones that you may be hesitant to ask!

Plus, you also get an audio product -  “Motivation Track for Your Juicing Journey” in MP3 version that works with all digital audio players.

5. I personally prefer to see this as a juice feast, not fast, as I will be
feasting on all sorts of raw, living foods.

I find this is an empowering way of looking at it without any negative impressions of having to suffer or starve myself. What do you think?

A beautiful way to look at it, Arvind!

Just look at all the amazing colours of fruits and vegetables that your body will consume.

It’s also good to take a break from eating once in a while, to let our bodies rest, to let our digestive systems go into hibernation, I like to think of it, and prepare for the next phase of eating. It is a great way to cleanse and also to enjoy delicious drinks.

Regarding the starvation part, you know, I was worried sick about that first time I fasted.

It was a fascinating discovery how after a few pangs of hunger, my hunger went away and I entered into this quiet blissful state with clarity and energy and yet extreme peace and calm.

I think that’s what I crave this time more than anything and definitely, more than any food. Let’s see how we get on, shall we?

6. So detox diva, what’s next for you?

Well, this is supposed to be an extremely productive week for me, with my hubby gone and me all to myself.

I plan to finish working on the Smart Exit Blueprint course and to put together some great things for Prolific Living in 2012.

I will also read a lot, meditate and do yoga and spend time reflecting on the beauty of life and the immense gratitude that I need to remember constantly.

In other words, I will be very busy!

7. Thanks Farnoosh for your inspiration! Any final words re your juicing?

First a huge thank you for doing the juice feast with me and also for showcasing Prolific Living on your wonderful space here, Arvind.

Also a few words to encourage you, the wonderful reader, at juicing or any other health change or challenge, please believe that you are no different than anyone else.

You just need to set an intention that you will make a change and then take care of the rest, which is mainly detail. Your intentions and promises to yourself, those are extremely powerful.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

That old cliché rings true every day if only you let it.

Here’s to your vibrant health!

Footnote:- Check out Farnoosh’s Green Juicing Guide today and also her inspirational blog Prolific Living.

My Coaching Offer:-

I am now opening up my coaching practice for more clients – please contact me for an initial discussion.

My commitment is to walk with you in 2012 and give you everything I have to help you find your greatness, and to help you make the world a better place at the same time.

You only have one life – are you ready to make yours BIG?

Please Help to Spread the Word

Related posts:

1. Turn the World Green in the Blink of an Eye!
2. Why Youth is No Barrier to Greatness
3. Why You Should Make 2012 all about YOU
4. Time to Be Bold and Play Big in 2012!

Are you playing big yet in your life? If not, then why not?

Remember it’s time to be bold and think big in 2012.

In my coaching work with various clients, I am meeting more and more people who really want to play big and make a contribution to the world.

It’s really heartening for me that there are so many people in the world who want to make a true difference to others. At he same time they want to make the most of their own life.

“What is my life if I am no longer useful to others?” – Goethe

What’s becoming clear to me is this – the moment you commit to a bigger game, the small things in your life just drop away.

The moment you commit to a bigger vision for your life, everything else falls into perspective.

Nothing else matters and the minor or petty day to day life challenges become inconsequential.

For example, in the scheme of things, does it really matter if:-

• Someone cuts you up in the traffic on your way to work?
• Or your boss or a work colleague puts you down and criticizes your work?
• Or your loved one fails to appreciate something you did for them?

You get the idea.

Of course these things do matter to us because we are only human. But if you can just get to see the bigger picture, you’ll see why these things don’t matter.

The point is this – life is too short to play small.

If you are going to play the game, why not just make it a big game?

And the most beautiful thing is that once you are committed to a big game, you actually do get clarity and a lot of focus on doing only those activities that really matter.

In the big scheme of things, all these minor things don’t matter as

• You let go of any perceived grievances, eat humble pie if you need to and just move on.
• You stop time wasting activities, get away from draining people and refuse to take on irrelevant commitments.
• You become highly energized, focused and you jump out of bed eager to get going with your vision.

And best of all you have a lot of fun and fulfillment!

Very simple – 2012 is all about you and it you being bold and thinking big.

Here are some tips on letting go of the small things in your life.

1. Let go of gossiping – just assume the person you are talking about can hear you – and remember that on a subconscious level, they can!

2. Forgive and forget any grievances from the past – now this may seem really simple and easy – and maybe it can be simple and easy if you choose to do so.

Allow yourself to accept that it is easy to forgive and let go – and it becomes easy.

3. Spend less time surfing websites that don’t tie up with your greater goal.

4. Make your time on social media highly focused and with your big goal in mind.

5. Declutter your life of physical things – just go through these 20 powerful questions that will simplify your life forever.

6. Stop doing things to please others.

Are you an approval seeking machine?

We all do so much for others and I invite you to pause and reflect on this – do you really want to do these activities or are you just trying to please others?

“Spare Me The Desire For Love, Approval And Appreciation” – Byron Katie

By living life on your own terms without wanting to please others, you will begin to focus on those relevant things that will help you make your game big.

So from today onwards, go forth and live a  big life of contribution without seeking any accolades, prizes etc.

The way forward

So the question now is really this – are you ready to play BIG?

It’s time to stop hiding and playing small – and I invite you to publicly state how you will play big. Just add your intention in the comments section below.

 My Coaching Offer:-

I am now opening up my coaching practice for more clients – please contact me for an initial discussion.

My commitment is to walk with you in 2012 and give you everything I have to help you find your greatness, and to help you make the world a better place at the same time.

You only have one life – are you ready to make yours BIG?

Please Help to Spread the Word

Related posts:

1. Big Brother and Small Sister – Lessons about Racial Unity
2. Time to Be Bold and Play Big in 2012!
3. Things I Wish I had Known 20 Years Ago
4. Take up the Scrunchie Challenge to Make Things Happen!

Today I am interviewing Tess Marshall from The Bold Life on her new e-course, Take Your Fear and Shove It: How to Be Bold, Play Big, and Shine Bright

This is in line with my intention to help all of you live a BIG life in 2012 – check out my special post:-

Why You Should Make 2012 all about YOU.

Welcome Tess!

 1. How did you become so bold?

 I grew up on a produce farm with nine siblings. We were all very competitive for our parents love and attention. It was speak up or lose out. We also worked in the fields and at the Farmer’s Market when we were young children. Again we had to speak up, being bold was a necessity. We became experts in sales by the time we were 13 years old!

 Those skills have benefited me in ways I couldn’t imagine then…

 2. Tess, sounds like you have had quite an upbringing – bold indeed!And you have clearly come a long way since then.

Tell us what’s the biggest fear you have managed to overcome since then?

I married very young. I was mom to four daughters by the time I was 22 years old. The last pregnancy was twins. One of the twins was born without a right hand. I was afraid for her. I knew life would be difficult at times and of course you want to save your kids from pain. I pushed her to do things she didn’t think she could. She also was determined to do what her sisters did.

Kristy learned how to play sports using her stub. She played basketball and soccer. She went on to the University of Chicago and played there for two years as well, before she reached her limits. Now she runs marathons and participates in triathlons.

3. How did you do it?

I didn’t let Kristy off the hook. Didn’t let her make excuses. She used to say when she was a little girl, “I can’t do the dishes because I only have one hand.” I’d reply, “Oh yes you can, it will just take you longer.” The way I overcame all my fears around my parenting and marriage was one step at a time. Our fortieth anniversary is January 14^th.

4. Of all of your accomplishments what brings you the most joy?

My family brings me the  most joy. All of our hard work paid off and now we feel like we’re on easy street! We only have to relax, have fun and enjoy each other’s company.

5. Tell us about your new ecourse, Take Your Fear and Shove It.

I wrote this course to help those who are paralyzed by fear and allow it to dictate their lives. The course contains the map, tools and techniques to overcome fear and gain the confidence and courage to run to live the live you desire.

We often look up to brave, bold, and successful people. It’s time to become one of them!

6. Why did you write your ecourse?

For the last 20 years I’ve had a successful career as a therapist, coach, speaker and writer. My family, friends, and clients have asked me repeatedly, “How do you do it?”

This course is the culmination of everything I’ve learned. I suggest action-oriented steps that will help you experience less doubt, worry, and fear and more peace, love, and happiness.

 The course is for those who want to know the answer to “How I did it?” You only need to apply it to your own life.

 7. There are so many ecourses out there nowadays. Why do people need YOUR course?

 Because it goes beyond working through your fears, today people are more terrified than ever. The course will show you how to go from negatively predicting the future to expecting the best, in the midst of these tumultuous times.

8. A lot of people don’t think that they have fears in life. Do you have a quick method to identify “hidden” fears that sabotage happy and bold living?

When you lack trust, feel dismay, dread, or procrastinate it’s about fear. When you are envious, greedy, or bothered by rejection you are fearful.  There are really only two emotions, fear and love. When you feel joy, contentment, happy, etc. you’re coming from love. When your want to attack, gossip, hurt, get even, etc, you’re coming from fear.

9. Tess, can you share your favorite technique for fighting fear in life?

I wouldn’t fight fear. I would accept it as normal and examine my thoughts. Then I would identify the core beliefs from where my thoughts come. I personally have two core beliefs that get me in trouble. They come from growing up in a big family: I’m going to be left behind and There’s not enough for me. Once I recognize those fears I can change my story to I am enough, I have enough, and I do enough. In the present moment, I am safe.

10. How can you keep fears from coming back into your life? Or is is just a fact of life that one always has fears?

Yes we always have fear however you can there are several things you can do. Think of an iceberg, the part you see above the water is your conscious mind, those are the fears you’re aware of. The part of the iceberg under the water is your subconscious mind. Those are our fears that will blindside you.

 11. What parting words can you offer?

 It’s time to positively anticipate your future. When you let go of fear and learn to be bold, play big, and shine bright…anything is possible!

12. What’s the next BOLD thing for YOU in 2012?

My word this year is create. I’ve got two books for Kindle that I need to get together. I’ve had this fear (yes me) of putting videos out. I’m going to overcome that by doing 28 videos in February, one a day. That’s enough for now. I have to leave some surprises!

Thanks Tess!

You are welcome…I feel like I just wrote another book;)

Sign up for here Tess’s course -  Take Your Fear and Show it

Also, Tess has kindly agreed to give away 2 FREE courses to 2 commentators chosen randomly from below.

So here’s what you need to share – what one BOLD thing will you do in 2012? And why?

Thanks everyone for playing bold.

Tess Marshall is a speaker, author, fear shattering, calculated risk taker and is obsessed with being happy and bold. Her blog, The Bold Life is a juicy mix of inspiration, spirituality, and personal development.

Sign up here for Tess’s life changing course -  Take Your Fear and Show it

Related posts:

1. Why You Should Make 2012 all about YOU
2. Green Juicing – Your Secret to Health, Vitality & Youth in 2012
3. Why Playing Big Helps you Let Go of Small Things
4. Big Brother and Small Sister – Lessons about Racial Unity

Happy New Year everyone!

We are now well into 2012 and perhaps like most people you have started planning for a “new” you in the New Year.

Just what do you want from the coming year? How sure are you to achieve your New Year resolutions?

You may have thought up a few New Year resolutions, but like most people some of you may have already let these go!

Firstly, you may have noticed that there has been so much talk of 2012 being a year of major shifts in the world with a lot of talk of doom and gloom.

But just know this – you don’t have to listen to all this negative talk!

Remember that there’s so much goodness out there and so many opportunities to prosper, thrive and be successful. It’s just up to you to focus on that and make the good things happen.

So the first point I emphasise for 2012 is that it’s up to you to make the best of your life this year, and indeed any year.

Of course, the beginning of a new year offers you a good starting point – a benchmark which you can easily track as the months progress.

And though getting a fresh start at the beginning of a new year is a good starting, you can choose to transform your life at any time you choose.

For now, let the first couple of weeks of January 2012 be the starting point for a new you – just decide and choose what your new beginnings will be and what sort of year you’ll have.

Here in London, 2012 promises to be quite a year with the Olympics in August and also the Queen’s Diamond jubilee celebrations in June.

What sort of momentous year is ahead of you?

Actually, a more powerful question to ask is this:-

What would you like to have ahead of you in 2012?

My point is that it is up to YOU to create the sort of life you want.

Maybe this is the year when you’ll finally start out on your own and launch your own business or an NGO? Or you will follow your passion and find just the sort of fulfilling work you always wanted to do?

Perhaps this will be the year you will go travelling and visit some exotic lands. Maybe you’ll decide to start a family?

The exciting possibilities for your life are truly endless!

Most importantly, this is the year for you to focus on YOU.

After all if you are not doing your best and if you are not thriving, how can you support and help others?

Check out some simple tips on how to make 2012 your best year ever.

It is time for you to make your life BIG.

Remember that:-

• You were NOT meant to play small.
• Your goals have to excite you.
• Your goals have to scare you.

And ultimately, your life and your goals should make a difference to others.

What is it that YOU can do in 2012 that will transform your life and impact the world in a positive way?

What will it take to ignite you in 2012?

And playing small will not serve you or the world.

Who are you to not let your light shine?

Remember that your life counts – and make it count.  You are unique. There is no one like you on this planet. Never has been and never will be.

Do not sell your self short. Do not sell the world short. This is your life – love it, live it. One life, one chance – grab it.

Get the life you love – and live it.

Here are three questions I just shared with a coaching client which will interest and inspire you too:-

1. What will you create in 2012?

2. What will you do differently in 2012?

3. If I was to meet you for tea in Dec 2012, what sort of year will you tell me you have had?

I invite you to spend some time reflecting on these questions and then I invite you to share your answers with the world in the comments section below .

Alternatively you can email your answers to me via the contact page.

I can guarantee that if you can focus on being the best you can be over the coming 12 months, your life will be transformed.

Despite all the doomsayers, there is so much for us to look forward to in 2012. Human beings are amazing and we are all so courageous, resilient and powerful.

In 2012, be happy, healthy and inspired! And strut your stuff like a peacock!

My Coaching Offer:-

I am now opening up my coaching practice for more clients – please contact me for an initial discussion.

My commitment is to walk with you in 2012 and give you everything I have to help you find your greatness, and to help you make the world a better place at the same time.

You only have one life – are you ready to make yours BIG?

Read here what other clients have said about my coaching.

Related posts:

1. Time to Be Bold and Play Big in 2012!
2. Green Juicing – Your Secret to Health, Vitality & Youth in 2012
3. Make 2008 your Best Year Ever
4. 12 Keys to Make 2009 Your Best Year Ever

So this is Christmas!

How are you enjoying it so far?

There’s no doubt that Christmas is a time of mixed emotions and feelings.

For some people this is a time of great joy and delight, with lots of partying and sharing of delicious food and gifts with people you love.

For others it can be a very stressful time with gifts to buy, lots of cooking to do and having to cope with large family gatherings.

It can also be a time of tremendous stress and pressure to conform.

For many people today, Christmas is a time that brings up challenges that their normal life tends to hide. It can expose a deep loneliness, and conversely for others, it highlights an overwhelming desire to be alone, away from people.

Add the constant pressure from the media to splurge out on things you don’t need nor want and the spectre of credit card bills in January. Suddenly Christmas becomes something to survive rather than enjoying.

Christmas is also a time when we tend to embark on a review of the past year – and this is fine if you can use it to bring new inspiration and energy to create exciting possibilities. However, these yearly reviews tend to hover over what we haven’t done and what we feel hasn’t worked.

With all of this in mind, I have got together with my friend Davide De Angelis aka The Money Shaman, and created a really special gift for you this Christmas:-

“The Money Shaman’s Guide to Thriving Christmas”

The aim of this very special 52 page guide is to give you some amazingly powerful ideas to ensure that you THRIVE Christmas instead of struggling to survive it.

Moreover the ideas contained in this guide will open you to the possibility of 2012 being an extraordinary year for you – your most powerful and inspiring year yet.

Here’s what this guide contains:-

1. Question Your Complaints
2. How to Make This Christmas Your Best Ever
3. Time not Money is the most precious gift
4. How Not to Be Lonely This Christmas
5. It’s Fine to Say No Thanks…When You Know How To
6. How to End This Year on a High
7. Know what you truly value
8. How to make next year your BEST year ever
9. Explore Compassion and Forgiveness from a Radically Different Viewpoint
10. Love is All That Matters

The Money Shaman’s Guide to Thriving Christmas is totally FREE and is our way of thanking you for being part of this growing community of abundance.

Download your Free Guide now

Please feel free to share this with everyone as you wish. Help transform other people’s Xmas and New Year as well as yours!

I wish you the most spectacular Christmas ever and a miraculous and healthy New Year.

Help to Spread the Word

Related posts:

1. Make this Christmas your Best Ever.
2. Is it Christmas Already?!
3. One Thing You Must Learn from Scrooge this Christmas Day
4. How Not to Be Lonely This Christmas

As the world settles down later this month week to celebrate Christmas Day, just what will you be doing?

Like so many people around the world, will you be spending it with your families and loved ones? Or will you be on your own?

Firstly, let’s acknowledge just how big a thing Christmas has become around the world with even people from other faiths treating this as a day for getting together with family & friends and having a good time.

Like it or not, Christmas Day despite its religious connotations, has become a day for partying, eating, drinking and having a jolly good time (in theory at least) with other people.

At the same time, there will also be many people on their own this Christmas. Some of these people may wonder what all the fuss is about around whilst others may feel they are missing out.

Christmas is clearly a wonderful time for families. But it is also a time when the suicide rate shoots up as it seems to really impact people who are on their own and feel that nobody seems to care about them.

Personally, I feel that there is so much media hype about being with loved ones and friends that you are made to feel there is something “wrong” if you are not spending Christmas Day with other people.

If you are going to be on your own this Christmas, I challenge you to reflect on this question:-

Is it really that bad to be on your own on Christmas Day?

Here are some suggestions for making the most of being on your own this Christmas:-

1. Get clear why you are on your own

A lot of time on Christmas Day people are on their own for practical reasons such as being too far away to travel to visit their family or they have required to work on that day. There are also circumstances such as a relationship break-up or a bereavement that could mean a solitary Christmas.

So the first thing to be aware of is just why are you alone?

2. Be thankful to be away from family

Despite all the hype, not everyone who is with their families and loved ones is actually having a fabulous time!

Whether it is Christmas or not, not all families are all happy and jolly families. Every family has disagreements and fallouts and being in close proximity for a few days around Christmas time is guaranteed to bring forth any discord and simmering issues.

You may want to consider it a good thing that you are on your own this Christmas!

So if you are alone, be thankful, you have complete control over the remote control and can eat all of the chocolate yourself in peace:-)

3. Enjoy being on your own

I remember when I broke up after a long term relationship and I chose to be on my own for Christmas Day. Though it was a strange feeling, looking back it was also quite therapeutic.

I actually enjoyed being on my own and the peace and quiet. You can do the same.

Plan your meals and some entertainment such as TV – you can even cook for yourself and celebrate with some champagne if that is your thing. Create an occasion just for yourself.

At the same time, do telephone some friends and family members. Perhaps even invite a neighbour to pop in.

4. Find other people on their own and arrange your own Xmas day festivities

If you are likely to stay at home and wallow in self-pity since you are alone, then don’t! Instead take charge and arrange your own Christmas day festivities.

In a large city like London, there are many other single people spending Christmas on their own, but wherever you are, there will be people on their own just looking for an opportunity to connect with others.

Arrange your own Christmas dinner or throw a spontaneous party. You can of course use social media websites such as Facebook and Twitter to conjure up your own impromptu get together. Or check out some MeetUp groups in your area.

Of course be selective about who you invite and be very clear and specific about what your guests should bring or not bring. The party doesn’t have to be at your home – it could be some hotel.

And don’t offer to cook for everyone! If you are hosting, then ask everyone to bring a dish and a drink. Check what everyone’s bringing and co-ordinate otherwise you may end up with tonnes of brussels sprouts!

5. Call some friends and get invited to their celebration

If you are going to be on your own, then let others know that this is the case. Ask friends what they are doing – and let them subtly know you are going to be on your own.

People are quite generous with sharing their families and Christmas festivities – give them a chance to do so.

Of course do take along a gift or a food dish – and let them know in advance of your dietary restrictions if any.

I remember one time when I was invited to a Christmas dinner, and my friends had to quickly rustle up some roast potatoes and salad for me. I had incorrectly assumed they knew I was vegetarian. So make no assumptions and don’t be shy about letting them know your dietary needs.

6. Do something to help others this Christmas

One of the best things you can do if you are alone around Christmas time is to help others.

For example you can help out at a soup kitchen, visit an old people’s home or be available for callers at a crisis support center. Through your efforts, you will positively impact quite a few lives.

A few years ago I an amazing day delivering Christmas food hampers and gifts to needy families in London. It was a truly humbling experience and I shall always remember the awe, wonder and sheer joy on the faces of little children whose Christmas had just been changed dramatically.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer up others! If you ever get a chance to do something similar, please take it up.

I felt that I was a better human being than I had been the day before.

The point is that it takes so little to make a difference to others. People may be going through “difficult” times and yet they have so much dignity, love and humanity in them. And to see the innocence, hope and beauty on the faces of the children affected just breaks your heart.

‘Everyone can be great, because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace – a soul generated by love’ - Martin Luther King Jnr

No matter what happens this Christmas, know that only you can give yourself what you want in terms of happiness and joy.

A person can feel really lonely even if they have lots of people around them. Or they can feel completely fulfilled and content even if they are on your own.

So if you happen to be spending this Christmas on your own, look for all the good that will come out of this.

Look for the positive lessons from this experience, see it as part of your personal growth and be thankful for having had this opportunity for some “me-time”.

Happy Christmas everyone.

Help to Spread the Word

(This article was previously featured on GoodLife Zen).

Related posts:

1. Is it Christmas Already?!
2. Make this Christmas your Best Ever.
3. One Thing You Must Learn from Scrooge this Christmas Day
4. How To Keep Your Sanity During these Christmas Holidays