Do you hold back from showing up at your best? Or do you strut your stuff like a proud peacock?
So often I have played small for fear of being considered egotistical, a showoff or simply a smartass.
Also coming from an Indian background it was instilled in me to be humble at most times and not to be “loud” or forthcoming.
Reminds me of this famous quote by Winston Churchill about one of his political opponents:-
“He is a humble man with a lot to be humble about!”
However, what I am finding is that we can take this being humble and self-effacing thing a bit too far!
The other extreme to being a peacock is to be apologetic and literally hiding in case you caused a stir or ruffled any feathers.
However, just remember those famous words from Marianne Williamson – who are you to not let your light shine.
I was having a chat with a lifecoach friend earlier on today and she picked up on this point with me. She explained how she saw this in many people in that they choose to hold back rather than shining.
She even went as far as saying that I too was holding back and it was time I allowed my own light to shine!
This conversation has really made me reflect and see where in my life I am holding back. Though by most people’s standards I do a lot, I am out there and I am involved in a number of projects, I do believe that I am indeed holding myself back quite a bit.
I could be doing a lot more to get my message out there via my blogging, social media, coaching etc. And yet…
My friend suggested I asked myself this powerful question on a daily, ongoing basis:-
What will it take for more of me to show up?
The answers for letting more of my light shine will then naturally show up – I just had to follow up. By continuing to be in inquiry like this, I will soon be glowing:-)
The question now is what will take for more of you to show up?
Here is a simple exercise for you to find out.
Stop here for 5 minutes of reflection and ask yourself these 2 questions:-
1. Where in my life am I holding back from being the best I can?
If you come up with more than one area, then choose just one area, the one that is the most important to you.
Then reflect further:-
2. What one single thing can I do today that will allow more of me to show up?
Keep asking yourself these 2 questions – and you will soon be on a path of continual excellence without having to apologise for it.
Of course letting your light shine and being the best you can does not necessarily mean that you become aloof, proud and cocky.
You still must continue to come from a space of grounded humility. What I mean by this is that you become comfortable in your excellence and expertise, and not self-effacing in anyway.
If you are good at something, you might as well own it and blow your own trumpet!
It is time really for all of us to be the best we can be – and be proud of it. After all, the world today more than ever before, needs everyone to shine their light.
This is an interesting topic. I’ve been exploring a lot lately the concept of being confident and expressive, yet humble at the same time. Sort of a humble charismatic prince. Yet I find that most people just manage to be humble. Either that or arrogantly confident, which in the end projects insecurity.
PS: I just found out I was born on the same day with Marianne Williamson. 41 years later 🙂
Ooops.. excuse me… 31 years later 🙂
Eduard, it is really important to get the right balance.
Personally if I had to be just one or the other, I would always choose to be humble. But I do like your vision of being a humble, charismatic prince:-)
Let’s all be humble, charsmatic princes and princesses!
I loved this post Arvind. It was something that I needed to hear in the last couple of days.
I was brought up with the idea of being humble. It was not exactly a cultural thing, just a characteristic trait in my family. Sometimes I find myself holding back and not doing something that I need to. For example, I know that I want to write an ebook for my blog but I keep putting it off because I do not believe that I have enough expertise to write it. Do I, really?
Probably if I stop being too critical of myself then I will come up with a good idea for a book.
Thank you again for this post Arvind. You have the best insights, as usual 🙂
Great stuff Anastasiya. And thanks for your kind feedback – I am so glad my insights are of value to you and others.
You write so well and you have so much to offer – the world needs you to stop holding back and get your voice out there.
You do already have enough expertise to write an ebook for your blog – please just do it! If you like, we can have a separate conversation about generating ideas for your ebook:-)
I really enjoyed today’s article Arvind. It really spoke to me! What will it take for more of me to show up! I love the idea, I love knowing that in this human form we can be so dynamic! When you really do think about it, most of the time we don’t paint using all our colours! Thanks for those 2 questions, I will be using them to check in with myself!
Lee, great that this article spoke to you.
So what will it take for more of you to show up?
I love the anoalogy of painting using all of our colours! Maybe a future post idea:-)
Interesting blog Arvind!
I think, at times, low self-esteem and self-worth can be mistaken as humbleness. I speak for myself when in the past others have been able to see what I was capable of and indeed, the greatness I was doing but I couldn’t recognize it as such because my own self worth wasn’t quite there!
I was acting humble and not appreciating my contribution to the world. After much soul searching and clearing old patterns I have stepped into the
To me, I was just being me
To continue…after pressing the wrong button (and how do I get my photo on here?) I was going on to say that I have stepped in to being more of who I truly am.
The result has not been cockiness or arrogance but me being more real (congruent), able to connect with more people (who I previously thought out of my league) and to share what and how I do what I do to have an impact on generating lasting change.
And how does it get any better than this? And what else is possible? 🙂
Thanks Balbir for both your comments.
Yes, I can see where you are coming from. Great that you are finally shining your light and stepped into being more of who you are:-)
So now you tell us – what else is possible for you? How does it get better than this?
I too have wondered if my perceived humility in the past was in fact masking lack of self-esteem and self-worth.
The more I reflect on this, I am sure it was just that!
So the question I keep asking myself is – what will it take for more of me to show up?!
Watch this space…
And by the way, to get your image showing up on here, please go and upload an image at https://www.gravatar.com