Do you suffer from low self esteem? Or are you someone who really believes in themselves?
Having positive self esteem makes you capable of meeting life’s challenges and allows you consider yourself worthy of happiness.
We all want to feel great about ourselves and to go through life feeling that we can conquer anything that comes our way. However, most of us suffer from simply feeling not good enough or lovable enough.
Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn’t working out. However, focusing on your positive traits will immediately improve your chances of creating the life you desire and deserve.
So stop putting yourself down from this very moment – you can’t develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities.
Here are some ways of building up your self esteem:-
1. Look at your past successes and achievements. Make a list of 25 things you have done. Then list another 25. These don’t have to be major achievements for you to acknowledge yourself and can include things like learning to ride a bike, passing your driving test, getting promoted and so on.
When feeling low, remember the times when you were proud of what you did, and the times you were praised. Close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.
2. Think of at least 10 positive qualities of which you are proud. For instance – are you reliable? Honest? Helpful? Imaginative? Write these on some brightly coloured paper and stick up where you will see it regularly such as on your mirror, office wall or the fridge door. Read it at least once every day.
3. Ask 5 people who know you well to write down your top 5 perceived strengths. Prepare to be pleasantly surprised.
4. Stop comparing yourself with other people. There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. Instead, observe positive confident people around you and copy their traits and instil into your life. For example, for every negative thought about yourself, think of a positive one.
5. Review your negative beliefs. Are the beliefs true? Once you believe something, you tend to filter out any evidence that would disprove this belief, so they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Actively look for evidence to disprove your negative beliefs.
Ask yourself – is this belief helpful to you? Where did this limiting belief come from? What would you rather believe instead? Create a new empowering belief. What would be the benefits of the positive belief?
6. Begin to accept yourself as you are. Look in the mirror every morning and say “I love and approve of myself”. This may seem awkward but keep going until you can look yourself in the eye and you mean what you say.
Use such affirmations to boost yourself in other ways. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as “I like and accept myself just the way I am” or “I approve of myself”. Carry this card with you and repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.
7. Listen to motivational tapes and read positive self development books. Whatever thoughts you allow to dominate your mind will eventually take root and affect your behaviour. Set aside time every day for personal development.
8. Do something good for somebody else, even if it is simply helping an elderly person cross the road. Doing things for others will make you feel better about yourself, put matters into perspective and automatically create self esteem.
9. Associate with people who energise you and appreciate your positive points. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you down, your self-esteem is lowered. Conversely, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself.
Apply these tips, and one day soon, before you know it, you will be brimming with positive self esteem and confidence.