Lessons in Life and Death from my Father

my father in his prime

Two weeks ago, my father suddenly passed away after a short bout of flu and a chest infection. The time since then has been rather surreal as we come to terms with our great loss.

What has kept us going during our time of grief has been the support and love from so many friends and family. It is amazing just what compassion and kindness people are capable of showing at such times.

As part of my own healing and that of others in similar situations, I shall be writing a series of articles in memory of my father, his legacy and the lessons he taught me about life.

To start off, here is a wonderful quote from Kahlil Gibran:-

“For what is death, but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek god unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance”

Gibran Khalil Gibran – (Lebanese Poet 1881 – 1931)

Comments

  1. Dear Arvind & all in the Family..
    SHOCKED to learn of the death of your father….our condolences to you &your family…I had been fortunate to know your dad as a FRIEND & I shall really miss him..MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE WITH GOD>>>>DR. CHANDRAVADAN MISTRY. LANCATER CALIFORNIA USA

  2. Mr. Devalia,

    My profound condolences to you and your family. I could feel your loss, having lost my father in a tragic set of circumstances.

    I share the grief of the bereaved.

    S.K

  3. Dear Arvind,

    I’ve lost my own father over a year ago, and still feel great sorrow about it. Especially during these days to be shared with loved ones..
    My deepest empathy, and condolences for your loss..
    I would like to wish you and your family all the strength, love and support in the world these difficult days and time to come.
    Hope you’re able to hang on to your loving memories and the beautiful lessons your father has tought you,
    warm wishes,

    Ellen

  4. GO! Smell the flowers says:

    Hey Arvind,

    Your post at flowers really touched alot of the gang and for that we thank you for having the courage to share your grief in the way you did….

    We are so looking forward to 2008 with you,

    Onwards n Upwards and may your beloved father rest in peace,

    From all at GO! Smell the flowers.

  5. Dear Ellen

    Thank you very much for your kind words above – it all stills a bit surreal and I am only now beginning to get back to some kind of “normality”.

    It really is amazing just how much compassion people are able to show at such times. Now if only we could be like this at all times.

    (I have just read your great piece “Trying To Be More Compassionate” at https://marcomblog.web-log.nl/ – thank you)

    I wish you all the best for 2008 – may all your projects reach even greater heights this year.

    Love and gratitude.

    Arvind

  6. Thanks Jim, Emma and all at Flowers for your kind words and support.

    Onwards and Upwards indeed in 2008 for all of us.

    That will be a great way to mark the life of my beloved late father.

  7. Dear Arvind, I have only just today seen your newsletter and that you lost your father some weeks ago. I am very struck by the photo of him – it speaks of someone who is open and honest, who has a sense of humour and a strong determination. What a very beautiful face. How you and your family must miss him. I think its a great idea to honour your father with this blog. I wish you courage and love and support to you and your family in the coming years, til the pain subsides and you can remember without the pain of loss. I personally believe those who have passed are always with us anyway – so I am sure he is very proud!
    love
    Hilary

  8. Dear Arvind

    Your Blog was passed to me by my friend Hitesh as I lost my darling dad 8 weeks ago today after a terrible battle with Cancer, from Diagnosis to him passing, he was gone in 14 weeks.
    Everything I have read about your emotions and grief are exactly what I have experienced and I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me with your warmth that comes though in the words you use and your obvious lust and love for life.
    I hope I will feel such positivity in the future like you do, once the healing process sets in and I can learn to live without my beautiful Dads presence in my life.
    Many Thanks
    Steph

  9. Dear Stephen,

    My heart goes out to you.

    I am so glad that you seem to have found some comfort in my words.

    Please also do check out another post I wrote about my father:-

    https://arvinddevalia.com/blog/2008/01/05/lessons-in-compassion-from-my-father/

    It is now 3 months since our loss and though we have our moments it is getting easier. Know that your father will always be with you, looking after you and sending you all the love in the world.

    Take care and call me anytime if you wish to talk over the phone.

    Love and best wishes

    Arvind

  10. It’a a very beautiful post!!!
    I love the quote and I am very GRATEFUL that you mentioned that Gibran is Lebanese. I am Lebanese and still living in Lebanon. He is the Lebanese’s pride, and unfortunately very rare know where he is from.
    Just if you can allow me to rectify one little thing which is the spelling of his name. It is Khalil. His full name is Gibran Khalil Gibran

    • Dear Nicole,

      Welcome to my blog – glad you liked the use of the quote from Gibran Khalil Gibran.

      And thanks for clarifying the spelling of his name and his full name – I have just edited the post so his name is now showing up properly:-)

      I wish you all the best in your life in Lebanon.

      Love and best wishes

      Arvind

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