It’s Mother’s Day once again – and whilst here in the UK we celebrate it in March, in the USA and many other countries around the world, it’s usually celebrated in May every year.
My focus nowadays is on celebrating and honouring my mother whilst I still can.
My father suddenly passed away last December and my mother is now the pivotal figure in our lives. The last five months since our great loss have been a haze and it is only now that I am able to get moving again with my life.
In the last few months I have experienced quite a cocktail of emotions, ranging from utter desperation, sadness, remorse and then gratitude, joy, love as memories of my father and the knowing that he was no longer around kept cropping up.
Somehow, I did try and focus on the lessons in compassion from my father and his life.
What has really helped me get through this time has been the support and strength shown by my mother in not only dealing with her own grief, but also making sure that us five siblings were as well as possibly could be.
I can’t even begin to imagine her grief, having lost her life partner of 54 years. And yet she has surprised and strengthened us with the dignified and resolute way she has simply got on with her life.
Day by day we see her getting stronger and stronger as she prepares for a new way of living.
At the same time, I feel she is liberated as possibly for the first time in her life she is willing and able to do what she herself really wants!
Now I can’t imagine my life without my mother. She is the focus of my life and whereas before I called her once or twice a week, I now speak to her at least twice a day on most days, even if it is to simply discuss whether it is sunny or cloudy near her home.
You would be amazed how many variations in conversation you can have about the weather in the UK!
My mother’s life has always completely revolved around her family – feeding them hearty meals being her main focus. Now perhaps she will finally spend more time on some leisurely activities.
Already I see her reading a lot more and though she is getting deeper into her spiritual path, her approach is more pragmatic and practical.
The funniest thing is how my mother is now much more willing to clear out and let go of “clutter” which she says was mainly kept by my father.
It is almost as if his departing has prompted a timely and divine reassessment of what is really important in her life and in her home.
This brings me nicely to my main point of this article about mothers and mother’s day and getting clear about just what is really important in our lives. We all have so little time and yet we squander it in pursuit of petty things. The time we have with our loved ones especially our parents is limited and this special mother’s day is just the time to remember this once again.
Every now and then, I come across someone whose relationship with their mother is not quite as good as it could be. Of course all relationships have their ups and downs, but to me the relationship with your mother is a very special one and everyone should try and heal it somehow. Know that no matter how intractable the relationship may appear to be, it can be healed, given a chance to do so.
So on this mother’s day, cherish the time you have with your mother.
It is after all, a time to celebrate and honour your mother whilst you can.
Finally going through my late father’s papers, I came across a card on which he had written about what the word “Family” really stands for:-
So on this mother’s day, remember what family really stands for and to tell your parents just how much you love them and what they mean to you – even if you are not the “sort” of family where such words are openly spoken!
Happy Mother’s Day:-)