1. Honey Pandya says


    That was beautifully written and very well expressed. I felt the sentiment of your words. I travelled with you on your journey, I cried with you and laughed with you, felt your happiness , and shared the agony of your pain.

    With your words, you breathed life into your fathers spirit and he came alive before my eyes. Stood before me was a great man, with generous lashings of wisdom, spirituality, knowledge and courage; balanced with a dash of humour, a sense of fun and a flavour of innocence.

    Ir you remember Arvind, I spoke to you shortly after your father had passed away and advised you to take time and not to rush the grieving proccess. It will happen when you least expect it.
    One day when you are alone, and the sun may be shinning , you will feel a sudden sadness, tears will race down your cheeks and will cry like you have never cried before. The pain you will feel
    will be like no other. You will feel like your insides are being ripped out. That is when you will start the grieving process and begin to truly feel alive again.

    The pain you have will never truly disappear. You will bear the scars like a soldier wounded in battle. Embrace the pain Arvind, and wear your scars with pride, for it symbolises your father’s life. Every jolt of pain ingnites the presence of his memory in your mind. Through you he lives on.

    Arvind, your hurt is your badge of experience , wear it with pride and honour. It has granted you the gift of wisdom and an insight into life that others you have not loved a lost one, cannot have or understand.

    My prayers are with your father, you, your mother, and the rest of your family.

    May your father’s soul be at peace.

    OM Shanti, Shanti.

    All my love Honey x

    • Dear Honey,

      Thank you so much for your wonderful words and also for all your kindness over the last year – you have been a rock!

      I look forward to that sunny day when I literally cry my heart out.

      Om Shanti.


  2. What a beautiful tribute to him in sharing about him and yourself and what you have learned. I hope that you allow yourself to feel during this anniversary and holiday time…grieving is good. It sucks, but it is good. My thought and prayers are with you.

    • Christine Wheeler says

      That was a truly heartfelt story. Grieving is important and don’t deny yourself tears, and all the time it takes. Grieving is a healthy process you need to go through in order to survive. It’s all a part of the universal process.

  3. Brought tears to my eyes. I feel the same about my father so I don’t know how you have coped over the past year. Well done you for turning a tragedy and sadness into something so positive and thank you for all your support with Shivia.
    Olly x

  4. Dearest Arvind,

    Your words are indeed very touching and I can relate to your journey as I lost my Dad this year.

    I agree our mothers are very strong however our protective or rather overprotective nature shields their strength. I talk to my Mom everyday, the last 2 weeks is the first time she is experiencing being on her own. Since 7th July, the day Dad passed away, she has been with my brother and sister in NYC or with me. It is hard but we are letting her go through her emotions. She was married at 16 years of age and spent 52 years with my Dad. Living alone is a far away concept for her – an Indian woman who has never had to eat her dinner alone or spend evening or nights alone. It brings to light the reality we come alone into this world and so shall we leave alone!

    I miss my father – first thing in the morning when I wake up I think of him. It seems surreal – at times the last few months seem like a blip. But then, how can I be selfish in wanting more of him when for the last few years he struggled and suffered with his health, his last days, 17 of them, were spent in the ICU on life support, against his wishes. To prove his point, his dearest friend and his heart surgeon paid him a visit in the hospital and as he walked away from my Dad’s bed, my Dad pulled out his ventilator tubes as if telling him – let me go.

    I can only appreciate and thank my father for all he has given me and my siblings – the endless love which I still experience feel him showering it on our family, the wisdom; knowledge through which we are empowered, the comfort; many opportunities; doors he opened for us, the sacrifices he made for us, the encouragement when we felt all was lost, the inspiration to live life to the fullest and his contribution to the community and the country – he will always be remembered for his passionate drive against corruption and the right to information in Maharashtra India.

    Anyway, Arvind remember your Dad is with you, he lives in your heart and he is looking after you and upon you.

    Love and many good wishes.


  5. Aruna Majevadia says

    Beautifully written, Arvind it brought tears to my eyes.

    Love Aruna auntie

  6. Arvind,

    This is an enduring and endearing post, for everyone. I lost my mother in July. These are my first Holidays without her. Parents make everything special.

    The other day, after “asking” many times “what happened?” (she collapsed suddenly and that was it), I too finally became peaceful as I got my answer – She was simply lifted away. It too was a surreal message.

    Thanks Arvind – thank you so very much.

  7. I lost my father when I was about 4 and that was in 1991. It was a moment when I didn’t realised his non-existence until when I grew older.

  8. Dear Arvind

    Wounder and touching words. I shall forever remember your father for his undying affection for all and be amazed by his wisdom and knowledge and his love for life and culture.

  9. Hi Arvind,

    What a beautiful tribute. He would be so proud of you –
    god bless
    Its all a circle of life. Our loved ones never really leave us and at time when we are at cross roads, we get their guidance in mysterious ways.
    God bless u and ur family

    • Thanks Krishna for your kind words and sympathy.

      Since my father passed away 20 months ago (how the time has flown by!) there have been many moments when I have felt he was with me.

      I recently took part in a panel at the Brahma Kumaries where I spoke for about 20 minutes about following a spiritual path. He would have been so proud to see me up there in front of around 80 people.

      And I am sure he was in the audience that day:-)

      Love and best wishes


  10. What a beautiful tribute to your father. It really hit a nerve (or two) for me as my father died 5 months ago and I am still coming to turns with my loss and processing exactly that it all means. We also had tributes from all over the world and people emailed us anecdotes about my father that we had never heard. It was so nice (and sad) to see a different side to him in death. I think about him every day and talk to him as often as I can. The day he died, at 4pm, I had a really strong urge to call him at 2pm but he was a fan of the siesta and always had a nap after lunch so I didn’t call knowing he would be having his nap and that he would be cranky if I woke him up.

    Thank you

  11. My father died at 3am on May 3rd 2012 five weeks ago, suddenly of cardiac arrest in his bedroom when he got up to go to the toilet. My mother phoned me at 3.15am. I was at their house at 4am. He was lying on his back on his bedroom floor, the paramedics had been unable to revive him. But even with whatever the thing was in his mouth and under a medical sheet covering his naked body, he looked magnificent. At 84 I had spent the past 12 years working with him and the last sounds I heard him utter was him singing at the top of his voice as he left the office, darting off into Brixton to meet some one he had been advising and supporting for years. Your account of your father’s death Arvind resonates so closely with mine and what you have written about the first year and the growth you have gone through in that time really supported me, particularly I am at such an early stage of getting used to my father’s passing. My mother, my dear dear wonderful mother is still here and I love her so. What a great man, what a great woman. Life is precious, oh so precious.

  12. nor akmar nordin says

    Arvind — that is so beautifully written. My father passed away about 16mths ago and I still couldnt bring myself to write about it. Thank you so much. I enjoyed reading it.

    • Nor, i am sorry to hear of the passing of your father. It does get easier over the years but it’s something that perhaps you never get over.

      Today is the 5th anniversary of my father’s passing and it feels like it was only yesterday that I last saw him.

      Nor, I wish you all the best on your life journey:-)


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