Why You Are So Insignificant You Might As Well be Dead!

prima donnaHave you ever wondered just how significant your life is in the great scheme of things?

And how would the world be any different if you were not in it?

Our entire life is based on our sense of who we are and the identity vested in us by society and more importantly by us.

Wherever we are or whatever we do, we tend to go around seeking significance.

We want to be famous, well known, good looking, raved about, have a massive following in social media and so on. You get my point.

Yet in the big scheme of things, you and I just don’t matter. In years to come, we will just be dust or just ashes, as it will be in my case.

Gone. No more. History.

In fact, for most of us we will not even be history, in the sense that no history books will record our lives.

All that will remain will be our memories and memoirs, if we are lucky. In my case people may remember me via my blog posts and my books for a while. But even those will disappear after a while.

What’s another blogger or author in the great scheme of things?

Yes, sure our loved ones will remember us and grieve us for a while. But even to them, we will be history one day as they get on with living and move on with their own lives.

As they must.

Yes, of course we want them to remember us fondly but we have done our bit and lived our lives. So it would be time and only fair to let them get on with their lives.

So what’s my point?

My point is this – you and I are so insignificant in this world. And yet this is the saddest thing – so many of us live our lives as if the world owes us a living.

We go around as prima donnas expecting the world to bend to our will and satisfy all our whims and desires. I know that for my most of my life, I have been just such a prima donna, expecting the world to meet all my petty whims, and cursing everyone for not realising just who I am.

Indeed I am probably still a bit of a prima donna:-)

We expect everyone to bow down to us and look up to us in our full glory. We want others to see just how clever and special we are. We expect people to treat us like high and mighty.

How can everyone be so blind and stupid not see our greatness?

Inwardly we are frustrated that no one seems to know just how clever or majestic we are.

We get upset with silly things such as someone cutting us off in the traffic or if someone jumps the queue. Just who are they to cut me off?

On a personal level, in our relationships we get upset and feel insulted if someone doesn’t do what we would have liked them to do (e.g. it’s my birthday and she didn’t even call me. How dare se forget my birthday?)

For so many of us, the world begins and ends with us. And the sad thing is the world doesn’t give a hoot about us and our needs.

I read somewhere that your life would be so much easier and smoother if only you can accept that everyone is out for their own happiness and well-being. That way you can always know where you stand – and you appreciate that for every other person their world is THE world.

“I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others”Deepak Chopra

Am I ranting here? It may not seem like a rant to you, but it certainly feels like one to me.

So what’s the take away from this rant?

Stop being so significant! You are nothing and you don’t count for anything.

Once you accept that, then an amazing thing happens!

You start to live an authentic life for the first time ever. You let the prima donna in you die and a new way of living emerges.

You stop being upset with other people’s actions, beliefs and opinions. You see things for what they are and not how you would like them to be or how you think they are.

You stop wasting your time and energy analysing other peoples “hidden” agendas and motives.

You let go of years and years of petty resentments and grudges. It is what it is and nothing more, nothing less.

You begin to see the world as it is – a trusting and safe place where people are not out to get you.

You stop going around expecting accolades, acknowledgement and appreciation. This will free up so much energy!

“Spare yourself from seeking love, approval, or appreciation—from anyone. And watch what happens in reality, just for fun.”Byron Katie

I am not suggesting you becoming so self-effacing and humble that people walk all over you. Not at all. Far from it.

What I am suggesting is that you stop seeking significance from others and you begin to live an authentic and truthful life.

Try it from today – and see how your life transforms.

(End of rant).

Photo of prima donna courtesy of Alaskan Dude

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Comments

  1. That’s nothing, Arvind – all we have to do is read a few pages of “A Brief History of Time” by Hawkins to feel insignificant. In fact, the earth itself is insignificant with respect to the rest of the galaxies around us. Time – even an entire lifetime – is insignificant when we think of how long time has existed and how much longer it continues…how many light years to travel to one star – which only tells us again how insignificant we really are – at least in size and time! But knowing all this still doesn’t diminish how great I feel about life and living – and mind you, still feel rather significant ;)! I think you need to work hard on me !

    • Farnoosh, thanks for putting things in perspective at a cosmos level! Indeed, in space and time we are but just a speck of dust.

      But hey, I didn’t say anything about that speck of dust not shining its light!

      So in your case Farnoosh may your light shine always – and you must continue to live your life with the same zeal for life and living. And I am sure you are being “significant” in the best possible way:-)

  2. LOL@Farnoosh’s comment. That’s what I was going to say! 😉

    Arvind, some of the words in this article will be hard for some people to swallow but it’s the truth. One of the things I enjoy about your posts is the fact that you keep it real. You tell it like it is, and you don’t sugar coat things. You’ll find that some people might not like that, but that usually means they are not ready for the truth. But don’t worry, they will be back when they are ready! 🙂

    This article reminded me of the “18/40/60 Rule,” which I learned from Dr. Amen. He said, “The 18 year old worries about what people think of them. The 40 year old doesn’t care what people are thinking. And the 60 year old realizes that no one was thinking about them after all.”

    • Nasim, it’s okay – we can have more than one significant blogger on here today. More the merrier:-)

      And you can always rely on me to say it how it is. I though I was especially frank in this article – no more Mr nice guy!

      Thanks for sharing that quote from Dr Amen. A similar one I heard was that don’t worry about what others think of you – they are far too busy wondering what you think of them to have any thoughts about what they think of you!

  3. I think about this quite often, Arvind. Many in my family are elderly, so when we have family gatherings I can see that in 10 years many of the people around the table will be gone. Then I carry on with that and realize that in another few decades our whole family will have passed on and a few decades after that, all who know us and remember us will be gone.

    That may sound morbid to some, yet it’s been liberating to me. It’s made me realize that life is a precious gift. I’m much more into savoring the simple moments and helping others enjoy their lives.

    • Jean, when you put it like that, it’s quite a sobering picture.

      I don’t think many people will find that picture morbid at all – it is what it is and no one should live in denial of it. As we get older, more and more of our loved ones will leave us – and this is really tough as I know from the loss of my father and my best friend in recent years.

      Even more reason for us all to make the most of what we have now and make the most of our ultimately limited time here on this tiny, inconsequential planet (see first comment above from Farnoosh).

  4. If you want to measure insignificance then try the unemployment line or ask your bank manager for a loan.
    There is a fine line between what you think you are (self worth) and selfishness. Selfishness is the foundation of most of the problems that face mankind. If you are seeking accolades, glory and fanfare then put on a helmet because you are going to need it. Rather be quiet and let someone else acknowledge your accomplishments. Vanity is a short step away from self acclamation

    • Andre, thanks for expanding the discussion and introducing the topic of selfishness.

      I know just what you mean – indeed, most of my life I have probably needed a helmet!

  5. Arvind, it’s only been a few days I subscribed to your blog and I am glad I did. This particular post was hard hitting – crushing one’s ego and self esteem to the ground but your article states the truth and the truth be told.

    I have done this self analysis often. I used to ‘crave’ for ‘appreciation’ earlier but in the last few years, I am finding myself getting detached to all this and rather focusing more on what gives ME real pleasure, what gives ME creative satisfaction. I am less miserable now, more confident as I am not seeking importance in the eyes of others any more.

    But, now my issue is something else. I don’t seek approval from others. But, I don’t find myself approving my self either. I mean, I am very critical of myself. I always feel like I can do more, do better, do bigger! I honestly know that I am not desiring to be better and do bigger to gain significance in the eyes of others but in my own eyes.

    I think it’s important that we are true to ourselves and feel our own significance in a positive way that will enrich our souls.

    Thanks for sharing this “looking-in-the-mirror’ article!

    • Rashmie, welcome my blog and thanks for subscribing. Nice to connect on here with someone from India.

      I just checked out your article about Orissa – it’s on my list of places to visit in India.

      I am glad you found this article hard hitting and stating the truth. To be honest I did initially consider a “softer” headline, but decided that the message would be much more forceful with the current headline.

      It’s wonderful that you have the self-awareness to no longer seek approval and appreciation from others.

      As for your “issue” about not approving yourself anymore, I am wondering if that’s coming a place of a lack of self-esteem or from a place of wanting to make even more of yourself.

      When you are critical of yourself, it normally implies a perceived lack within you. And this is when you feel like you can do more, do better, do bigger, just to be something significant in your own eyes.

      So what will help you approve of yourself more? A big acheivement? And then what? Where does this desire for achieving more, bigger and better end?

      Here’s something that you might like to do, an exercise from Louise Hay’s book – “You can heal your life”. Say to yourself “I approve of myself” – and repeat a few hundred times a day – and especially when you have any thought come up in self-criticism.

      Do let me know how you get on. Remember – “I approve of myself”.

      • Arvind,
        Thanks for your reply. And, the book that you suggested – I will pick it up this weekend 🙂

        About that constant urge of mine to do better, it’s not actually about a ‘big achievement’ one day that I find myself aiming at. On the contrary, I find the best joys of life in simplest things – like taking a walk in the garden with my daughter or trying a new natural health idea, or singing a raga. Actually, when I wrote that I am not able to approve of myself, I meant that, I am not satisfied with all that I know or do. As in, I am always craving to learn new things. I renewed my learning in music recently and have taken up Hindustani classical at a serious level. I now want to learn sewing. Then, dancing. And painting :))

        It’s these small things in life that I want to achieve rather than one BIG accomplishment.
        But, then being a hands-on mother, a work-from-home mom I only have so much time on my plate. I can only pack so many hours in a day. So, that makes me restless…

        But all said and done, I need to realize that I am just a human with human capacities and should not try to always be a super mom, super wife, and super what not! :))

        Cheers,
        Rashmie

        • Rashmi, thanks for coming back to me – and do let me know how you get on with that book.

          And I look forward to one day listening your Hindustani classical CD:-)

  6. Annie Stith (@Gr8fulAnnie) says

    Hey; Arvind!

    This post reminds me of the idea of losing one’s ego to find one’s Soul I’ve read about. One has to convince their “bigger self” — that inner voice we all hear from time to time — that the ego needs to be dissolved in order to live from the Soul. The immortal part of us that knows it’s not just part of everything, but it IS everything.

    I love the feelings that come out when I think about it.

    Annie

  7. Great post. I see a shift in your thinking from a few years ago.

    I wake up every morning reminding myself that one day I will die and this reminder puts everything into perspective. I don’t think that one should necessarily be upbeat about this though. These are the facts of life and you make what you want from them. If you choose to be depressed about it, then that’s fine. If you choose to be indifferent, that’s fine too. If you choose to live a life of maximum pleasure, or happiness, that’s your decision. The point is that by being fully conscious of your insignificant, temporary, and futile existence, you become FREE to pursue whichever path you like. There’s no right way.

    There’s an inspirational speech given by Steve Jobs (founder of Apple) which touches upon some of the existential issues you mention: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA

    • I am so honoured that the great Georges Sokol has finally commented on my blog!

      Thanks for noticing the shift in my thinking from a few years ago. All of us are work-in-progress so thanks for the positive feedback. At least I am taking that a positive comment:-).

      Great observation that there is no right way of living and how being aware of our ultimate demise frees us up.

      Rather than waking up every morning with the reminder that one day you are going to die, how about reframing it – I have another wonderful day to live to the full?!

      And thanks for that Steve Jobs video clip – I have watched his inspirational speech before but other readers may not have. Thanks.

  8. Good day Arvind,
    I remember years ago, someone gave to me as a gift, one of the books Rush Limbaugh had written; regardless of anyone’s opinion of him, I do remember something in that book over 10 years later.
    He told of a story of a woman, who felt that the US government did not care about her. Mr. Limbaugh commented, that it did not matter, whether the government cared for you and that he wished, that the government did not know, that he existed, so it would leave him and the rest of us alone.
    I hope, that is worth something to your other readers.

    • Good day Hudson,

      Thanks for sharing that interesting story from Rush Limbaugh. Sometimes we just can’t get away from certain people and institutes in our life – and our government is one of them:-)

  9. “It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life” -Saint Francis

    • Wonderful quote, Brad.

      Thanks for sharing – that prayer from St Francis is one of my favourite pieces of inspiration. I have it pinned up in front of my exercise bike and read it often:-)

  10. Dear Arvind,

    Ha – with this compelling title I couldn’t help but come over and take a peek! Something in the brain revolts at the words – and is fascinated all at once.

    I think that’s the hardest thing about our beliefs around death, the thought that we may not exist at all.

    It’s such a paradox because we’re walking around as individuals in our own skin.

    Years ago I heard Abraham-Hicks say something about the absurdity of expecting your partner to always have your well-being above their own. We always have our well-being foremost and that’s normal. It helped me not expect to be considered first all the time! 🙂

    This post certainly puts things in a perspective. There’s little that matters more to me than authenticity. One year I decided to attend a Halloween party totally as myself. A fascinating experience. No masks!

    By the way, cool photo too.

    Warm regards,
    Lauren

    • Lauren, welcome back to my blog.

      Glad you liked the compelling title, which some would say is a provocative title. I wasn’t too sure about it initially but I now know it was the right decision to stick to it.

      The thought that we may not exist at all should really spur us into living our best life and making the best of each day – and yet most people don’t.

      Funny you mentioned Abraham-Hicks. It was on one of their CDs that I had the phrase I quote above about always believing that everyone’s only in it for themselves.

      So though your partner may be the most loving and loyal in the world, you should always consider that you are not their number one! Quite an eye opener really.

      Finally authenticity is indeed key in getting over being significant. If you are truly being yourself and you are in your power, those around yoou will see you as significant.

  11. Arvind I love being a somebody as nobody. Glad you’re a unknown star too! Best wishes from sunny USA!

  12. Thanks for this very important reminder. As much as I would like to make a significant contribution to this world, I also need to humbly remember that I can best do that by serving others, rather than seeking to be served by them.

  13. Clearly Composed says

    Once we stop believing the ego is our center and only aspect and step aside from self-importance we start noticing how freakin’ amazing and generous life truly is. We see without blinders on then and our world expands in a bold and encouraging fashion. We just have to get out of our own way to get there. 🙂

    • Emma, you put it so beautifully – step away from the ego and rather than losing our identity and standing in the world, we being to shine and realise just how amazing life tuly is.

      Yes, time for us to get out of our own way.

  14. Bebhinn O'Loingsigh says

    This is a fascinating article Arvind, and one that certainly hits home. Thank you so much for sharing!
    I’d like to put something out there for discussion if I may:
    As an introvert myself, but a lover of being sociable all the same, I find it quite easy to just get on with what I am doing and not worry too much about what is going on outside of me. The outside world doesn’t define me. Saying that, however, I have to admit that I still do seek appreciation and acknowledgment from others and get annoyed when I am treated as insignificant. Therefore I’d be very interested in anyone’s views on how an extrovent, who’s reality is based on their external interactions and experiences, could possibly achieve comfort with insignificance?

    • Bebhinn, welcome to my blog.

      I am glad this article hit home with you – that why the headline was deliberately blunt.

      Having read your profile on your profile, I do fin it hard to believe you are an introvert. Any one who’s travelled Asia on their own surely can’t be an introvert:-)

      I would say I am probably more of an introvert that an extrovert though that doesn’t stop me from being a prima donna. Like you I do get on with what I am doing without worrying about what’s going on outside of me.

      I too still seek appreciation and acknowledgment from others and get annoyed when I am treated as insignificant. So from my perspective, the answer to your question about how an extrovent can possibly achieve comfort with insignificance, is to give themselves this significance.

      If I know within me that I am worth it and I am good enough, then I can stop seeking this approval and affirmation from others. This doesn’t mean that I become cocky or arrogant – just quietly confident that I am good enough and I am worth it – everyone else can think what they want.

      Bebhinn, I hope this helps.

  15. Arvind,

    We are important in our own mind only. It is so true, we often get caught up in all dramas of keeping up with Jones but in reality all people care about is themselves, except a few who really care for others!

    Thanks for a reminder to not put focus on un-important tasks.

    • Preeti, yes we are only important in our own mind. It’s when we seek this validation from others and expect it that our challenges begin.

      So forget the not so important things in life such as what others think of you – and get on with living your own great life:-)

  16. Kirstine Vergara says

    This might be quite hard to swallow for some people. Some of us do not need recognition to make a difference, but most of us do. For most people, they get this “insignificant” feeling because they are always looking for a pat on the back. I know it’s great to hear a compliment once in a while, but when you don’t, don’t go around thinking that you have no use in this world. I think we need to constantly improve ourselves if we want our lives to be more meaningful.
    Thanks for this. This puts things in perspective. Allow me to share with you an interesting read on Self-Improvement. for a more compelling life.

    • Kirstine, you are so right – most of us need recognition to make a difference.

      Looking for a pat on the back is what drives most people and this is all about them seeking significance.

      The way around seeking comliments from others is to constantly approve of yourself and endeavour to improve your life.

  17. I read this with geat interest and would like to share this story with you.

    After my husband died I started to think along the lines of ‘Whatever he thought he achieved, it’s soon forgotten.’
    His work involved Environmental Noise problems.
    Soon after he died, Peter, who delivers our logs, came by with a fresh load. He even stacked them neatly for me and I was very grateful. When I asked how much he charged for the stacking (half an hour of his time) he said this:

    ‘There’s no charge, Linda. Your husband was very kind to me when I had a noise issue and he sorted it all out for no charge. He did me a great kindness so it’s the least I can do in return.’

    This small event reassured me that, when we die, sometimes we are remembered, but not always in the way we might expect.

    Everytime I go to my log pile I remember Peter’s words…

    • Linda, thanks so much for sharing your moving story.

      It’s reassuring to know our loved ones live on in unexpected ways. My late father is remembered every year by our extended family members for all the handmade cards he used to send out at Diwali (Indian festival of lights) time.

      I know my headline was a bit provocative to drive home my point – but we will certainly live on in the memories of our loved ones and the communities we serve. And as you say, perhaps in unexpected ways.

  18. Arvind, your post is humbling, as it should be.

    The very thing I’ve been telling my kids recently is that they should talk to new people even if they feel insecure about it. When you walk up to someone new they’re not thinking about how much they like or dislike you because they’re too busy worrying about making a fool of themselves.

  19. Good one. But you make me think of the flip side–good ol’ existential angst. What’s the purpose? What is my meaning or significance in the scheme of things? What is the scheme? What is the thing? Why bother? I’ve been there many times. I think a good in-between is the ideal. Enough self-worth and a sense of purpose in life to live meaningfully but also to not have such a bloated sense of self worth and entitlement that we feel the world owes us something and then get upset when it doesn’t deliver the way we want it to.

    Always lessons though so we do get in balance, if we choose to listen.

    Good point on the doormat–I’ve known a few people like that yet they do flip out when someone wipes their feet on them, understandably. Self-respect but not over-inflated self worth….

    Always working on that balance here 🙂

    • Thanks Leah,

      Yes, indeed. What’s the purpose?

      As you suggest, the answer is in finding a good in-between – enough self-worth and a sense of purpose in life to live meaningfully without a bloated sense of self worth and entitlement that the world owes us something.

      Happy balance-finding.

      Always working on that balance here 🙂

  20. Arvind, I was deleting a whole pile of blog updates from my inbox after being away on holiday in a virtually internet -free zone and I chose to keep yours and read it. I AM SO GLAD I DID! Your post hit on some very crucial truths that I have totally forgotten in the last week and, after reading it, caused a much-needed shift in perspective. I find that when I am living in the awareness that it is completely unnecessary, and even harmful, to seek external approval and worry myself sick pouring energy into ‘other-analysis’ I am in a state of gorgeous liberation. YOu have brought that home for me today Arvind. I thank you. Wonderful blog.

    • Elena, I too am so glad you didn’t delete this blog update from your inbox !

      Thanks for sharing your personal experience – it seems that this article was just right for you at the time you read it.

      As you say, when we live in the awareness that it’s completely unnecessary and perhaps even harmful to seek external approval, it can be truly liberating.

      May you be liberated always:-)

  21. Filip Matous says

    Great philosophy here. I remember watching the Red Hot Chili Peppers biography and when the band was asked how they made it work for so long one of them replied that “I know I’m an insignificant speck of shit when it really comes down to it.” He wasn’t saying it in a depressing way, it was actually quite zen in his approach to stardom. That from one mile from above, even the biggest celeb looks like nothing. And in the grand scheme of things we are nothing special.

    I’ve found that that thinking, like you just explained, makes me really happy and successful as a person. Nobody owes me anything, I only have so much time with my life so I best figure out a useful, purposeful way to give it away.

  22. Filip, good to have you on here – welcome to my blog.

    It’s almost a year since we met at the London Bloggers Group – how the time has just flown by.

    As you say, from a mile up, anyone including a celebrity looks like nothing. Indeed in the grand scheme of things, we are nothing special.

    And yet we are all so special. It is by giving up this sense of specialness that we regain or true specialness.

    I really love your lucid summary – nobody owes us anything, we only have so much time with our life so we had best figure out a useful, purposeful way to give it away.

    Thank you!

  23. Hello,

    I know how insignificant/special I am. About 10 mins to midnight on new year’s eve 2009 I sent all my ‘friends’ a new year’s greeting. I had no expectation of how upset I would be when I did not receive any messages in return. It made me feel insignificant and angry and lonely. It also ruined a lovely evening with my husband.

    I have been reading personal development books articles websites attending courses since I was 19 when my heart was first broken. I am now 41. I have a colleague who sits next to me who refuses to acknowledge me and excludes me during conversations. My poor old husband had to listen to me drone on on the way to seeing Eat Pray Love. He concluded that she had an inferiority complex. At what point are you allowed to say/feel I am somebody, I am a human being with feelings, treat me as I treat you.

    Rant over

  24. Thanks Arvind. Missed this first time round!

    It’s the same idea as in my blog here:
    “Why your business needs to enter the Total Perspective Vortex”

    It is only by contemplating how utterly insignificant and redundant our worthless and meaningless skills, products, services, expertise and lives appear when compared to the whole of creation that we can (if we survive the shock) begin to create a plan to stand out, emphasis our worth, promote our expertise and offer meaning to a certain section of creation.

    https://aydinstone.wordpress.com/2010/09/24/why-your-business-needs-total-perspective-vortex/

    • Thanks Ayd.

      You say first time around – but I have no idea why FeedBurner sent it out a second time!

      I love what you have said – it really is so true that we only when we realise our insignificance can we actually begin to truly shine!

      Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  25. Phyllis Alesia says

    Another powerful post! What happens to me when I shift my thinking to this is that I feel FREE. I feel so “right here, right now” and liberated from so many “have to do’s.” The world of “significance” becomes downright funny to observe.

    The understanding of my insignificance helps me, if only for a few moments every once in awhile, know exactly how I fit in the universe and that feels SO GOOD to me! It’s like I can finally let go of the breath I’ve been holding because I’ve been afraid of not doing this life of mine “right.” Guess what? There ain’t no “right” way to be.

    Thanks again for the reminder, my friend.

    • Thanks Phyllis for your kind words and your input.

      What a wonderful way of feeling FREE! Once we are liberated from our “have to do’s”, the world of significance really becomes funny to observe!

      And yes, there ain’t no right way to be:-)

  26. It didn’t feel like a rant to me. I usually stop reading rants because they ‘pull’ on my energy. Your post never did that. It uplifted me and I appreciate it. It seems like when I appreciate my ordinariness and just live my life mindfully that I am very content. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Thanks Jeanne for not taking my article as a rant!

      As you say, when you share your ordinariness and just live life mindfully, that leads to contentment.

      I am glad my article uplifted you:-)

  27. Nabanita Ghosh says

    Hi Arvind!
    Just subscribed to your blog a few days ago. Came to know about it from my friend Sunny [Abubakar’s website]. 🙂 I am glad I subscribed to it as I find your way of expressing your mind very practical and straightforward. Though to many it may sound brutally honest but unfortunately this is the truth. I have personally gone through many such depressive states when I did not get an acknowledgement for what I had done or even for my existence!

    As it goes that it is never too late to learn as learning never has an end to it. Life is a series of lessons and I hope to drink the nectar of Life sometime.

    Best wishes and Regards,

    • Hi Nabanita,

      Welcome to my blog and thanks for connecting with me here and on Facebook.

      Let’s always remember our insignificance and yet our unique and individual brilliance:-)

      Kepp drinking the nectar of life.

      Wishing you all the best.

  28. What do you do if you have just discovered from a work colleague you can’t stand, that you are a prima donna? What do you do on a practical level when the truth of such an accusation hits you in the guts? I’ve been surfing the net all night looking up the term prima donna, and I can see quite clearly it’s me. How do I change? How do I stop being a prima donna and be authentic? I don’t understand how to realise my own insignificance. I suffer from depression and most the time it’s because I feel so unloved and unrecognised…no one realises and appreciates how special I am! I see the truth of these feelings and that being this way alienates and hurts others. How do I change…I so want to.

    • Dear Skye,

      Welcome to my blog and thanks for sharing so openly.

      Firstly, note that your work colleague’s opinion is exactly that – his opinion! Though it must have been hard to hear something like this, note that it is not necessarily the truth.

      Also, re-reading my article, I realise that I was being dramatic so as to make my point – almost to the point of ranting. So please take what I have written lightly.

      What strikes me from your words is that you are probably being very hard on yourself. I bet there are some people around you who appreciate you and care for you.

      You have a lot more going for you that you realise!

      There are some tips here which I know you and everyone can benefit from. I suggest that you do more and more things every day to care for and love yourself.

      Also, a while ago I wrote an article along similar lines as the one you read, about how to stop being a “drama queen”. You might find this a little amusing – but the key message again is to stop taking yourself and life seriously:-

      https://arvinddevalia.com/blog/2010/03/12/stop-being-a-drama-queen-and-become-happy-instead/

      Skye, I wish you well with everything.

      Love and best wishes

      Arvind

  29. Hello Arvind. I enjoyed reading this post. I came across it in December and I can say that your post prompted a wonderful, yet very long conversation with friends one night. Nothing like discussing the vast topics of “perception”, “existence”, “expectations”, and “progression” over a cup of tea.

    Anyhoo, I had mentioned this post in my first post on my blogsite this week. I was wondering if you can check it out and tell me what you think.

    Light.

    • Thanks Ajen for your comment – and welcome to my blog:-)

      I am so glad that this article prompted such discussion amongst your friends.

      I just checked out your wonderful first ever blog post and left a comment.

      I wish you well on your blogging journey.

  30. Great article – and then the comments. Gag me! Such ego shining
    brightly through such insignificant people. Lol. No really – try insignificance
    on for size. It actually feels good.

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