Do you know how to truly love yourself?
Or are you so engrossed in yourself to the point of being vain and arrogant?
There is this phrase – proud as a peacock, which is used to refer to someone who is excessively proud and full of themselves. Are you a peacock?!
This is the third of my series of 28 relationship articles for the month of February, during which I am taking you through a journey of improving all the relationships in your life.
You can check out the first 2 articles here:-
Also, you can read all 28 articles from Feb 2011 which are listed at the bottom of this post.
My previous article about self-love brought up this question of just how much one should love themselves.
The answer is there is no limit.
You should love yourself so much that you could eat yourself!
However, some people do not yet understand this concept of self-love. We are brought up to believe that it’s not good or “nice” to put ourselves before others.
Self love is about putting yourself first – you can consider the needs of others too, but not at your detriment.
And we all do this – I am a classic case and only recently I even had some coaching sessions from Eduard Ezeanu about putting myself first.
In the past, I have so often given my energy and time to others and there has been a huge imbalance. So no more “Mr Nice Guy!”
So putting yourself first is one aspect about self-love. But what if people go the other way? At what point does self-love become selfish and arrogant?
You have probably met someone like that in the past – someone so full of themselves that you could hardly be in their presence for too long. Someone who believes that the whole world revolves around them – and that they are better and above everyone else.
However, here’s the thing – such people are actually the ones who are really short on self-love. And that’s why they need to have external social indicators and all that peacocking to prove their worth to themselves and others.
“An empty man is full of himself.” – Edward Abby
There is this anecdotal story of the time when Gandhi met the King of Great Britain in London and he wore his simple wrap around cloth.
A journalist asked Gandhi, “Mr Gandhi, did you feel under-dressed when you met the King?”
Gandhi replied, “The King was wearing enough clothes for both of us!”
So ask yourself – are you so full of yourself that you have covered yourself with all this external clothing and peacock feathers?
Also, remember that self love is not about being narcissistic!
True self love means being totally comfortable in your skin and not ever wanting external vindication of your being and worth.
True self love means being kind and loving towards yourself no matter what.
It’s all about coming to the realisation that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are perfect just the way you are.
Loving yourself is all about doing the right things for your mind, body and soul. Here are some simple ideas to get you started:-
- Go for walks in the park. Even better if you can do in the early morning
- Eat healthy food only – remember you are what you eat. So eat organic food as much as you can. Cut out junk food completely
- Drink alcohol in moderation – or none at all
- Pamper yourself daily and often – gentle massage, bath, whatever you fancy
- Have friends who energise you. You are who you associate with.
- De-clutter your life. Whatever you do, don’t buy more stuff!
- Be very kind to yourself – watch that self talk.
- Get plenty of rest. Listen to your body and accordingly sleep more or sleep less
- Cut down on late nights, especially if you are a party animal!
- Find the work or activities that really make you come alive
- Reconnect with your inner child – learn to chill out more and be childlike.
I am sure you can think of some more. Learn how to really pamper yourself and to make yourself feel good.
Boost your self-esteem as much as you can – apply daily my 9 powerful ways to boost your self esteem.
An easy way of finding things you truly enjoy is to check in with yourself. Pause and ask yourself if it feels good or not. Your body’s reaction will always be accurate. Let your inner voice be your teacher and guide as you evolve into greater self love.
Daily Exercise for Today
Choose at least one of the activities I suggested above and carry it out for yourself. Enjoy the self pampering.
Then please share in the comments below about how you are being loving to yourself so we can all learn from you. Don’t be shy!
28 Day Relationship Adventure
Postscript – Here are the complete 28 articles in this series from February 2011.
Please do check them all out:-)
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