Why Death is the Great Arbitrator

Do you live your life as if you will live forever?

So many of us go through life without sparing a thought for tomorrow or the people to come after us.

We forget that each of us only has so much time on this planet.  And this planet only has so much resources for our consumption.

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed”Gandhi

I have just had a sad reminder of how fragile and delicate life can be. One of my uncles passed away last week, just two weeks after being diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. It’s still unbelievable that he’s gone just like that.

This is a really tough time now for my uncle’s immediate family – but his spirit, memories and legacy will always live on.

I wrote a while ago about how to suffer excruciating pain and live again.

And I know just how tough it can be to lose a loved one such as a parent, from my own personal experience of losing my father.

In case you have missed these articles at the time, here are 3 articles I wrote about my father at the time:-

1. Lessons in life and death from my father.

2. Lessons in compassion from my father.

3. The first year of my life without my father.

Any death of a loved one seems to affect me deeply. And maybe it’s the same for everyone else – I just wonder how everyone else copes with the pain.

My uncle’s passing is yet another reminder for me and others to take heed and focus on what’s really important in our lives. Ultimately, the size of our houses, the speed of our cars nor our bank balances really don’t matter. When it’s your time to leave this human body, all those things will not matter.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Malcolm Forbes

What does matter is the sort of life you lived whilst you were here and the difference you made to those in our family, your community and the world.

“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” – Chuck Palahniuk

We can’t wait for the future to start giving things our all and enjoying the day.

Is time on your side or slipping away without notice?

What happened yesterday is history. What happens tomorrow is a mystery. What we do today makes a difference – the precious present moment.” – Nick Saban

Go ahead and claim your life. Ask the world for what you want and go all out to get it – whilst you can.

“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.” –  Madonna

We can’t cheat death. Life is fragile. It could be taken away from you just like that.

It’s time to stop all this suffering and to frittering your life away. There is only one certainty about our life – and that is death. And no one knows when it’s going to come knocking on our door.

Why not make the most of each day and of each moment?

Here are my 8 suggestions to help you do just that. Each suggestion is linked to a relevant post. Do check out each article – and apply the lessons in your life from today:-

1. Live with an Attitude of Gratitude.

2. Become a positive thinker today.

3.  Truly forgive your loved ones today – whilst you can.

4. Do this single thing right now to have a great today.

5. Let go of minor irritations and make space instead for unconditional love

6. Choose to wake up today – and choose life!

7. Do just this one thing to stop your suffering now

8. Deflate your fear and improve the quality of your life

And no matter what, always remember the real truth about you – you have so much to offer the world.

PS Thanks everyone for your support for the London Marathon which now seems such a long time ago. I had a fabulous time and I may write a future blog post about my amazing day at the event.

Bootcamp for Authors

I am pleased to let you know that I am presenting at a “Bootcamp for Authors” in London, where I’ll be sharing my learnings about creating your book and getting it into mainstream bookstores.

I look forward to seeing you there – and look out for a blog post soon about my presentation.

Postscript Note:- Please check out my blog post about the author’s bootcamp:-

How I overcame my Fear of Public Speaking and How you Can Too

 

Image courtesy of pedrosimoes7

Comments

  1. Rosemary Hannan says:

    Hi Arvind, It is so true that when we are faced with the death of a loved one we realise the futility of all the ducking and diving we do in life for the sake of the ego. We are reminded that at the end of our lives it is the things that we didn’t do, and the love we didn’t share that we will regret. I didn’t get around to reading all the links to your other articles yet…but I will. Thank you for this poignant yet beautiful post. And I’m very sorry about the loss of your Uncle.
    Love Rosemary

    • Thanks Rosemary for your kind words of condolence – any death of a loved one seems to affect me deeply. And maybe it’s the same for everyone else.

      I just wonder how everyone else copes with the pain.

      It’s time to stop all the ducking and diving for the sake of our ego…

  2. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing Arvind. No day but today my friend!

    Alex

  3. Dear Arvind, Death and taxes are so final. No getting away from them. The sorrow takes longer to get used to, if ever. I still mourn the loss of my Mother, but in a good way, you know? My heartfelt prayers for your Uncle’s family, may they get the strength to move on with life.

    This is a beautiful post and one that i will treasure.

    Thank you, dear friend. Be well, always. And if there’s something I can do for you, let me know.

    Love, Vidya

    • Vidya, thank you so much for your words of condolence and offer of help.

      My uncle’s family are coping as well as they can – it’s the suddenness of his passing that makes it so much more painful. At least he didn’t suffer too much in the end.

      Be well and all the best – I am sure your late mother is smiling down on you…

  4. Hi Arvind,
    Time is so precious…thankyou for sharing such personal stories
    be good to yourself
    David

  5. Arvind,
    I am so sorry your uncle passed and so fast! Hardly time to get used to the idea of having a tumor. I think we sometimes believe that we have erased death in this modern society with medicine and chemotherapy. I have had some people close to me die recently, too. (Although, not as close as an uncle). It’s been a great reminder to me that we need to live life now! I think about it every day. I’m thinking of you and your family!

    PS Thank so much for the link!

  6. Harriet Cabelly says:

    Love this post and love the quotes! This is such an important message for all. Thank you for sharing in such a beautiful and meaningful way.
    I think about this alot and am very cognizant of living life fully while we can.

  7. Arvind,
    How do I cope with grief and loss? Stay with the pain. Lean and breathe into it. Know that it will pass. Love to you.

  8. Dear Arvind,
    Again sorry to hear of your uncle. This article is timely- found myself getting busier and busier and not stopping to appreciate the moments recently. It’s coming up to a year since mum passed- i still have good and not so good days but as you said, the memories live on. Time to get back to living in the now and living the moments. Talk to you soon dear friend.

    • Dear Tania,

      Thanks so much for all your kind words of condolence. And how quickly the year has passed since your mother’s passing.

      From personal experience, the anniversary of my father’s passing was very painful. Let your mother’s sweet memories console and comfort you.

      And yes, time to get back to living in the now and living the moments:-)

      All the best to you, Tania. Call anytime you want to have a chat…

  9. Hi, Arvind – This is a beautiful article. I plan to read the other posts you reference and wanted to thank you for sharing your wise words. My condolences in the loss of your uncle, and may his wisdom live on in you and his loved ones.

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