I used to get very excited whenever someone would tell me: “you’re a really nice guy”.
I thought it was a fantastic compliment to receive!
Then I started noticing in my own life and the life of other “really nice” people that this label often came with less than favourable consequences. The more I noticed the patterns unveiling, the more being seen as “nice” began to trouble me and shock me.
So I began to change some of my nice guy persona and get more of an edge.
It was one of the best moves I have ever made!
Eventually, as a communication coach, I also began teaching others how to be less nice.
Today, my close friends and I have an insiders joke about this.
Whenever we say about a person “he’s a really nice guy” or “she’s a really nice girl”, what we actually mean is “this person gets used and abused in all imaginable ways for being a people pleaser”.
