my father in his primeIt’s three years today since I suddenly lost my father.

Yes, that’s him on the left. Handsome dude. And he was my father. And I am his son, believe it or not.

I feel I got his intelligence genes, not the ones for looks:-)

As I write these words, it was around this time in the day that I spoke to him for the last time. He had sounded fine and was recovering well from a chest infection.

The phone on my bedside table rang just after one in the morning, and the moment I saw on the phone display that it was my mother calling, I intuitively knew that something serious had happened at home.

The next few hours were a blur as right away I drove to my parents’ home that night. Indeed the next few months were a blur as somehow my family and I struggled to come to terms with our loss.

Though a lot has happened for me since then, in many ways my life seemed to come to a standstill. The pain of the loss is ever present and though he may have gone, he always seems to be around me.

I have often written on my blog about making the most of our life and our time on this planet.

I also speak about how there is always a brighter side to everything and how we should always try and be positive. But on this occasion during my grief, I was hard pressed to find anything positive

Despite all the beauty in the world, life can also give us such heart rending, excruciatingly painful experiences that it takes all we have and much more to even get through each day.

Somehow I used to think that my parents will always be around and indeed I was almost shut off from the possibility of my father not being around one day.

Self denial is fine if it helps to cocoon you from future sadness, but when a loss like this hits you, it’s that much harder.

I guess we all tend to put off thinking of the loss of our loved ones especially our parents, but knowing and acknowledging that such a separation one day is absolutely certain can help us appreciate our time together that much more.

For me, three years later, the pain and the loss is still there as ever and not surprisingly, I seem to attract or talk to people with similar losses.

Last week, I had some friends over who lost their father only seven weeks ago. Their pain was still very raw and I was able to give them the sort of loving space and time that others had given me three years.

Though my friends were aware of their father’s imminent passing, when it actually happened the pain was still immense.

Somehow, when we remember our loved ones we think about all the things we didn’t do or say, or regret some of the things we did say which we wish we hadn’t.

On my blog I have written many times about the need to spend more time with our loved ones and making the most of each day. Never has this felt more relevant to me than today.

Since my father’s passing I have also written 4 relevant articles about him and the lessons I have learnt. I invite you to check them all out.

Some of you might need a box of tissues handy:-

1. Lessons in Life and Death from my Father

2. Lessons in Compassion from my Father

3. The first year of my life without my father

4. How to suffer excruciating pain and live again

Somehow, I feel that my life stalled from that fateful day 3 years ago. And it is only now that I finally seem to be getting my old zest and energy back whereas for so long I have felt stuck and stagnant.

I had a coaching session with my coach and mentor Davide De Angelis this week and he made me see how it was now time for me to fly again.

When I look back over the last 3 years, it has been quite a journey with lots of twists and turns. I had indeed become stagnant – it was as if I was stuck in the first gear.

I am now inspired to follow the promptings again of my heart and follow what my life is really about.

As some of you may have noticed, my blog has a new look and this week I have already updated the About Page on my blog – please have a look and see if what I say resonates with you. If not, please tell me what’s missing for you.

I have also got my creative juices going again and am looking at various ideas to really make a difference in people lives. Look out for more information coming soon.

Get the Life you Love

In the meantime, the other thing I am doing is getting my book “Get the Life you Love” to a much wider audience.

My father, a writer and published author himself, was very proud of the day when I published my first book and sent him a copy.

Every time he saw me face to face, he would ask me when the next book was coming out, even if I had only just seen him a couple of weeks before!

At least he was alive when I experienced the dream of every author – to see their book coming off the printing press. Turn on the sound on your computer, sit back for three minutes and check out the video below:-

Today, I can think of no better way to mark my father’s death anniversary than to share this life-changing book once again with the world.

Have a look at what others have said on Amazon.

My book which has sold in thousands has impacted many people lives and has become a life companion for so many.

This book is also the perfect gift for Xmas and the New Year.

What I would like to do is to send you a signed copy wherever you are in the world at face value i.e. free postage and packing. So it will cost you just £10/$15 depending on where you are.

Just let me know whose name the book should be signed in and I will send it to you within 48 hours of receiving your order.

You can also order copies for family and friends and I shall send them a copy direct, well in time for Xmas and the New Year.

Alternatively, you may just want to get the ebook version:-

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Thank you.

Today I shall be spending the day reflecting on my father’s life, all he did for me and the many gifts he bestowed on me.

I am honoured that I am now able to share some of my own gifts with the world, thanks to him.

Thank you all for giving me this space to share my personal grief, helping my deep growth and for following my journey.

I wish you all of the best for your own journey.

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