A friend just lent me a book which I first read over 20 years ago during my college days.
The book has an intriguing title – “Born to Win” – and it’s a wonderful book which I read a long time before I discovered the world of coaching and personal development.
Its funny how life gives you clues at a young age about your future journey – I have always been fascinated with self-improvement and how to do things better.
In the book introduction, the authors share their definition of what a winner is:-
“A winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of society”.
Conversely, a loser is one who fails to respond authentically.
The authors go on to discuss how to those people who winners, achievement is not the most important thing – authenticity is.
This could be a life-changing realisation for you.
Are you focused on being truly authentic or just on crazily achieving in your life?
What’s more important to you – being authentic in all areas of your life or to achieve big things?
Let’s also be clear about we I mean by being authentic.
An authentic person is someone who is not pretending to be something he or she is not. They are happy in their own skin and they have the courage to be themselves.
Remember that people can smell when you are being inauthentic.
Conversely, people will “get” you when you are being yourself. People love those who are being open, honest and vulnerable.
Look back to a time when you have really been blown away by someone’s presence. Chances are that they were being truly authentic.
Being authentic in all areas of your life is quite a challenge and not for the faint-hearted. In a future post, I’ll outline some of my ideas to help you become more authentic in all areas of your life.
“You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself” – Galileo
Today’s takeaway is this – you are a born winner – and you can win at the game of life by just being YOU.
Just remember to be authentic in all areas of your life – start by answering this question:-
Where in your life are you not being authentic?
Awesome message Arvind and so very much needed these days. We are all champions at something and world beaters with our own personal skills and abilities. Your post reminds us all that if we take our best shot at being just ourselves it will always hit the highest mark. My utmost thanks too for the link to my post on beng great to be you (which is what you are!!).
John, great way of putting it – if only we could focus on just being authentic and being ourselves, we would be winners at life.
Time for us all to be more authentic:-)
Hey dude,
Really enjoyed reading this article. Born to Win is a great book and how true about authenticity.
Kavit
Thanks Kavit – I thought you might have already read that book:-)
We are all born to win – but it’s only people like you who truly walk their talk get to live up to their potential.
Thanks for sharing this book title Arvind and the challenge to be authentic!
Alex
Alex, you are most welcome. It’s a great book and just up your street.
Hi Arvind,
It’s a tough thing to be authentic in our increasingly status/possession driven world.
I know a few people that are so desperate for others to accept them that they portray a life that is totally counterfeit by boasting of things they’ve done or own.
This makes people skeptical and instead of being accepted, they slide further down the judgement scale. They then lose the little respect they have and gain another title of untrustworthy instead.
Be a winner just by being yourself.
Andre, yes it’s so true that it’s a tough thing to live authentically in our increasingly status and possession driven world.
It’s disempowering when people try and be someting they are not, either through their showing off, or pretending to have done things they haven’t.
Just be yourself and be a winner!
For the most-part I have been focusing on crazily over-achieving in life but this is a quick recipe for burn-out.
The thing with being authentic is that during early childhood when we are being most authentic it is met with a lot of resistance by authority figures dictating how we should be.
Justin, welcome to my blog.
It’s clearly time for you to stop focussing on over-achieving in your life:-)
And so true that “authenticity” is drummed out of us at an early age by adults who claim to know better – and who are being totally inauthentic themselves!
Nice to take in and being authentic
Welcome to my blog, Shashikumar.
I wish you an authentic life:-)
Thanks for sharing this Arvind, I think you’ve definitely ‘won’ with this post! 😉
I liken this to the universal definition of wealth. A ‘wealthy’ person isn’t someone who has the most, it’s someone who needs the least. If we all aim to win by having others win, this will enable the world to win 🙂
Thanks Stuart for your kind feedback and for sharing the analogy with the definition of wealth.
Lets all aim to win by helping others:-)
I have a little card taped to my computer. It says “Live it! Then teach it.” Sometimes I get caught up in my “message.” I forget to live my message, to walk my talk, so to speak. Your post is a great reminder that any true success comes from being our authentic selves first. Thank you!
Beautiful points.
I think the key to being authentic is living your values, which of course means, knowing what your values really are. If achieving is a core value, then being true to you, means embracing your inner-achiever, and that’s authenticity at its best.
For me, I’m a river+goal kind of guy, so I can go with the flow, or use goals to correct course, and when I’m on a path of achievement, it’s the journey and by-products I savor, not just the end-in-mind.
Good to see you here again J.D.
You have raised an interesting point about following your core values and if that means being an achiever, then be authentic about that.
Also, goals should be about the journey and not just the outcome. It’s the authentic person you become along the way that really matters.
Arvind,
You are one of the most authentic people I know! Thanks for being part of my blogging world!
Thanks Tess for your kind words!
And I am so happy and honoured to know you:-)
Arvind,
I haven’t read this book, but I agree with the premise. When we aren’t authentic a little bell goes off in the minds of the people we interact with. The bell is their intuition warning them that we are being false. Over time our inauthentic self will end up repelling people rather than attracting people so we will have accomplished the exact opposite of what we set out to do.
I say it’s best to always be yourself –
Angela, I really think you would like this book. Though it was written over 20 years ago, the message is still fresh and valid for today.
You hit it spot on with your analogy of a bell going off in our head when we sense someone being inauthentic.
Being authentic and vulnearable really attracts – I remember one of my first public talks when I sharing about Nirvana School, and I almost burst into tears when I spoke about the little children and their needs.
Some friends told me afterwards that they were really moved as well when I almost burst into tears. And amazingly a lot of people donated money and sponsored a number of children that evening as a result of mine being open, vulnerable and authentic:-)
“You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself” – Galileo . Wow!! Great Article!!