How one extraordinary friend, a Sanskrit word and twenty years of coaching reminded me what really holds people back.
Yesterday was one of the happiest memorials I’ve ever attended.
That probably sounds like a contradiction.
Surely memorials are supposed to be sombre, quiet and full of sadness?
Not this one.
Around two hundred of us came together to celebrate the life of my dear friend Yagi, who passed away a year ago.
We played cricket.
Football.
Rounders.
There were games for the children, delicious food, prayers, music, hugs and, above all, laughter.
Lots of laughter and joy.
As I looked around, I realised something.
One man’s life had brought together hundreds of people… even after he had gone.
That’s quite extraordinary.
Yagi had a remarkable gift for making everyone feel welcome, included and valued. You always felt better after spending time with him.
His family, friends and colleagues at IBM have adopted a beautiful phrase:
#BeMoreYagi
I haven’t stopped thinking about those three words.
Because perhaps that’s all any of us can really hope for.
Not that people remember what we achieved.
But that they remember how we made them feel.
During the celebration, one of the speakers talked about the Sanskrit word Samp.
It means togetherness, harmony and unity. Standing together as one in heart, thought and action.
As soon as I heard it, I smiled.
Because I realised that Samp is exactly what I’ve been trying to describe through The Connection Revolution.
Not networking.
Not collecting contacts.
Not having thousands of followers.
But creating the kind of human connection where people genuinely feel seen, heard and valued.
Perhaps that’s why yesterday affected me so deeply.
It wasn’t simply a celebration of one remarkable man.
It was a celebration of connection itself.
And it made me ask myself a question.
Not, “What legacy will I leave?”
But something much more immediate.
Am I showing up each day in a way that helps the people around me feel seen, heard and valued?
Because if we can answer yes to that, perhaps everything else starts to fall into place.
—
Here’s something else I’ve noticed after more than twenty years of coaching.
The biggest obstacle isn’t a lack of talent.
It isn’t intelligence.
It isn’t opportunity.
It certainly isn’t age.
The number one thing that stops people creating the life they genuinely want is something much simpler.
They are simply not clear.
Not clear about what they really want.
Not clear about what matters most.
Not clear about which relationship needs attention.
Not clear about which opportunity to pursue.
Not clear about what they need to let go of.
Without clarity, life slowly becomes a series of reactions. We answer emails, attend meetings, scroll social media, pay bills and tick off another to-do list. Weeks become months. Months become years. Somewhere along the way, we wake up wondering why life feels so… flat.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth.
Most people don’t actually have a motivation problem.
They have a clarity problem.
When you become crystal clear, energy follows. Decisions become easier. Confidence grows. Momentum builds.
But clarity on its own isn’t enough.
Because there’s a second obstacle.
Action.
Over the years, I’ve coached countless people who knew exactly what they needed to do. Have the difficult conversation. Leave the draining job. Start the business. Write the book. Repair the relationship. Take better care of themselves.
They knew.
But they waited.
For more confidence.
For more certainty.
For Monday.
For September.
For next year.
For the children to grow up.
For retirement.
For the “right time.”
Here’s the bad news.
The right time rarely arrives.
Life moves anyway.
Yesterday was another reminder of that.
None of us knows how many summers remain.
None of us knows how many conversations remain with the people we love.
None of us knows how many opportunities remain to become the person we know we could be.
That isn’t meant to be depressing.
I actually find it incredibly liberating.
Because if life is precious…
Then today matters.
This week matters.
The conversation you’ve been avoiding matters.
The dream you’ve quietly buried matters.
The person you’re becoming matters.
And perhaps the question isn’t…
“What sort of legacy will I leave?”
Perhaps the better question is…
“Am I living in a way that makes me feel fully alive today?”
Because if you get that right…
The legacy usually takes care of itself.
—
Every week I speak to people who look successful on the outside but feel stuck on the inside.
Almost without exception, they don’t need more information.
They need more clarity.
If this newsletter has struck a chord with you, start by taking my Inner Transformation Scorecard.
👉 [Take the Inner Transformation Scorecard]
It takes just a few minutes, and you’ll receive a personalised report highlighting the areas of your life that may be holding you back.
Because from everything I’ve learned over the past twenty years, a better life doesn’t usually begin with working harder.
It begins with getting clearer.
And then having the courage to take the very next step.
Have a wonderful day.
And this week, in your own way…
Be more Yagi.
“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we only have one” – Confucious
