Have you noticed just how much turmoil and tragedy there is in the world today?
You must be aware of all the world changing events going on in Arab world right now. We can only hope that the upheaval in Libya is resolved without any more bloodshed.
What also made me sad this morning was to read the news about yet another earthquake in New Zealand which has led to so many deaths, injuries and loss of homes and no doubt livelihoods.
In just a few seconds, nature has reminded us of a force much greater than us.
All we can do is hope and pray that the people affected rebuild their broken homes and lives quickly and allow their healing to begin.
We can also send the bereaved people our love and positive vibes.
This is another reminder, if we ever needed one, about how our lives are so fragile and yet so precious. Which makes it even more imperative that we make the most of our relationships with our loved ones.
This is Day 22 of our “28 Day Relationships Adventure (DRA)” in February. You can read the previous 21 articles by following the links at the bottom of this post.
My article yesterday about not judging people caused quite a stir on Facebook and it seems to me that our prejudices against people are quite deeply ingrained.
So just how can we appreciate people more rather than judging them?
Why should we wait till the end of our lives before truly appreciating our loved ones?
On day 17 of our relationships adventure, I have already mentioned appreciation of others as one of my 11 keys to improve all your relationships.
Today I would like to build on this by sharing a very powerful appreciation exercise which will change your perspective of people forever.
I learnt and began to apply this simple trick a few years ago, which will improve all your relationships quite quickly. By the way, this is nothing new and I am sure I read somewhere a while ago about appreciation circles.
The idea of this “appreciation circle” is to get everyone to say something positive of someone, present or not present, dead or alive.
During the grieving period for my late father a few years ago, one afternoon we were all sitting around in the lounge in a rough circle. All our immediate family were there and it was a very special but sombre time.
I suggested we go around the room with each person sharing what they remembered about my father and what he meant to them.
It was a magical 15 minutes as everyone shared their fondest memories about my father – and funnily we even learnt a few things from my aunts about him that we didn’t know before.
At the end of this session of appreciation after everyone had had their say, I suggested we should do this more often, but with a LIVING person and not wait till he or she had passed away.
So this is what you can do from today.
You don’t even need a group – mentally picture a person in your life and imagine all their positive qualities and just what they mean to you.
You can go one step further and write down everything and share it with that person.
Finally, you can even expand on this by writing down things about a person you hardly even know and sharing with that person.
I wonder what we would all say about each other!
Can you imagine how the world would be a better place if we all lived our lives with this attitude of appreciation, complimenting and noticing only people’s finest points?
Please share below your own thoughts and ideas about showing your appreciation.
Here’s the Daily Exercise for Today:-
For today’s exercise, choose one person with whom you want to improve your relationship and spend a few minutes appreciating their fine points and what they mean to you in your life.
Believe it or not, they will tune into your positive thoughts subconsciously, and almost like magic your relationship will improve.
How cool is that?!
image courtesy of Vannanana
Arvind: Great message and post. I really thought what you said was so important and we do need to appreciate people and let them know how much we value having them in our lives. It is easy to fall into the trap of focusing on other people’s idiosyncrasies, but we really do need to make it a habit to focus on the good that other people bring to our lives. Great advice and I will definitely put this to use.
Sibyl, good to see you here again. As you say, it’s so easy to focus on people’s idiosyncrasies.
Instead, make it a habit to see only their good points:-)
It is shocking for all of New Zealand, and as you say, a stark reminder of how much we usually have to be grateful for.
https://minimalistmum.blogspot.com/2011/02/generosity-for-emergency-use-only.html
Jess, if only we could all be more present and aware of all the good things in our lives.
And thanks for including the link to your current post – I am going to mention it in my relationships article for today:-)
Arvind, thanks so much for linking me in! You’ve got great readers…
Jess, you are most welcome.
In the end, my article for today took a different turn, but I’ll mention your article soon:-)
What a great gift to give someone Arvind. I have my person in mind and will complete the exercise before heading out the door this morning.
Best,
Alex
Alex, some person in your life is going to be very blessed today:-)
Hi Arvind,
Thank you for this article. Appreciation. With my two young children, I sometimes ask them to help with chores, and do say thank you..almost on auto though. Sometimes in the evening I make sure that I have their attention, and I say thank you very much for X,Y,Z today and I appreciate your help…
I think “auto” sometimes happens too often in mainstream daily life. When someone does something kind for me, like hold the gate open when my hands are full, or ask about something I am working on..I make sure to give them my genuine appreciation. I think it’s also important to thank your self. There are times I push my self through something..maybe a hectic work day, or a tense moment, and then I stop and think thank you for moving through that..
Joy, you are most welcome.
Appreciation – something we all crave for – and yet our lives would be so much easier if we could get away from the need for appreciation.
It’s great that you are teaching your children the true value and art of appreciation.
Genuine appreciation really touches the heart – and people GET it when you are being totally genuine and authentic in your thanks.
And yes, being thankful to yourself and showing self-appreciation is most important – something that I rarely do. But you have prompted me to do so much more.
So I am off now for some well earned sleep and a prayer of self- appreciation:-)