time to enjoy life as a single person

I have recently been writing for a magazine aimed at Asian women. The magazine is even called “Asian Woman“. How about that for a targetted niche?

The idea is that I run a Question and Answer page whereby their readers write in with a specific query about their life and I suggest some answers. In future the page might even be called “Ask Arvind” 🙂

For the current issue, one of their readers had this query:-

I am single and have been for a while. But the people around me are constantly pushing me to find someone and “settle down”. I feel I am not yet ready to do so. How can I make the most of my single life?

My detailed answer below has tips applicable to everyone and not just the single women of this world:-

If you are single and wish to enjoy life as a single person, then that is great. Our culture and community does make it hard sometimes and considered taboo, but it is your life and you can choose to live it as you wish – either as a single person or in a loving relationship.

1. However do not wait until you are in a relationship to start living! Your life is happening today. It is not a dress rehearsal for the day you will be in a relationship. Being single also gives you a lot of flexibility and independence.

2. If you choose to be single or if you are in between relationships, rather than getting hung up over not being with someone, or getting uptight with what others feel is best for you, focus on what you have right now and on creating a terrific single life. Reflect and think of at least five great things about your life as a single person.

3. Ask yourself what your life is going to be about. What do you enjoy doing?

Reflect on what you want to contribute to the world, where you want to live and how much money you want to make. The key is to make your self truly happy right now and to remain happy, regardless of whether you are single or with a partner.

4. Some single people throw themselves into their business or career, and forgo pleasure time and self-care. It is as if their accomplishments are the only things that matter.

Pamper and treat yourself every day with something luxurious and pleasurable. This can be as simple as a ten minute walk, a drink at the local coffee shop, a body lotion that smells good, or even a candle-lit bath and so on. Do whatever does it for you. Such treats are not just reserved for a partner to give you as gifts.

5. Be passionate about your life. Have a vision for your life and live by it every day. Have a purpose for getting out of bed every morning. What activity energises you? What makes time stop for you?

Remember, having a partner is not a substitute for a meaningful life. You have to live your life with purpose.

6. Build a community of friends and like minded people. Socialise, have fun and join clubs around your favourite topics. Reach out to people already in your life, and strengthen your communal ties. Start doing the things that you have been putting off doing till you had a partner. Find one fun thing to do every week and cross it off your list. One day you can do them all again with your partner if you wish.

7. Improve your relationship skills and go and have some fun at dating events: you could find local dating events, or singles dinner or theatre events, or try speed dating.

Just because you may have been single for a while does not mean that you will not have a successful life long relationship if that is what you desire.

8. Appreciate and value what goodness you already have in your life right now. Being single gives you true freedom and independence, to do exactly what you desire with your time and resources — and you can choose who to do it with.

Good luck and enjoy singledom:-)

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