Do you always take your time before deciding most things?
Or do you just jump in to make it happen for you?
Most of us have been brought up to be cautious and to weigh up everything before starting on anything.
Some cultures have this characteristic more than others but generally most people ponder a long time before committing to any thing.
“Don’t wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it.” – Cathy Hopkins
“Look before you leap” is a commonly known phrase which implies you should think carefully about the possible results or consequences before doing something.
But where does this “looking before leaping” stop and how does it impact your life?
On a personal front, I have been quite indecisive on many occasions, both in my personal and business life. This has often resulted in procrastination and frustration at not being able to move forward.
Clearly there comes a time when you have to stop looking and simply leap:-
1. Make a Decision – Just Decide!
Some people simply cannot decide on anything – they forever weigh up the pros and cons of something and just cannot choose the path forward.
If you are like this, simple as it sounds, just do this – decide! Toss a coin if you need to, but make a decision and then stick to it.
Remember so often it’s now or never.
2. Don’t Lose out on Opportunities
An opportunity often comes your way and by waiting for too long, it will pass you by. This could mean missing out on for example a lucrative business opportunity or a potential date.
So learn to weigh up what’s in front of you and then go for it.
At the same time, this doesn’t mean you throw all caution to the wind. Do some quick risk analysis as appropriate, but do not let that become a reason to hold back either.
“Action without knowledge is useless and knowledge without action is futile.” Abu Bakr
3. Stop Being a Perfectionist
Looking for that perfect time or that perfect opportunity could mean you waiting for ever.
Don’t wait for something better around the corner which may never come. Just weigh up your options and just make the most of what you have in that moment rather than waiting for things to become “better” before jumping in.
4. See Everything as a Learning Opportunity
If you see everything as a learning opportunity, you will know that there is no failure or mistakes, only life lessons.
Knowing that you cannot fail either way no matter what happens frees you up to get more things done and to get involved at an earlier stage.
5. Work Around any Cultural and Religious Restrictions
Sometimes the society or culture you live in may inhibit you from moving forward rapidly. For instance, in some society groups, you may need approval from elders for major decisions or you may be bound by some religious restrictions.
If that’s the case, then do consult elders or religious leaders for guidance. However at the end of the day you have to do what feels right for you.
The Way Forward
What I have learnt in my life is that so often by making a decision and taking action, things do work out for the best whereas if I had continued to wait they might not have.
Then again, things might have worked out if I had waited – which is why life is so interesting. You just never know what’s going to happen next or what’s around the corner.
But my key learning has been that by taking some action and leaping in, I have more often than not made things happen – and I for one would rather be in that situation than to do nothing and wait for things to happen.
So what about you?
Would you rather wait or would you prefer to leap before looking?
Please do share your insights and your own experiences below.
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This reminds me of one of my favorite Og Mandino quotes. When asked the secret of success he replied “triple your rate of failure.”
I really like that quote, but my old time favourite is
yesterdays history
tomorrow’s a mystery
today is a gift-
thats why its called the present.
I never take long to make decisions i really trust whats inside and go with it. Always worked for me so far! and my mother used to always say-Do not follow the path in front of you, go where there is no path and leave a trail.
Vicky, thanks for sharing both your quotes – your mother was clearly very wise:-)
Going with your intuition is very powerful – as long we have learnt to listen to it and trust it. I had a painful reminder of this recently when I ignored my gut instinct about working with someone and that business relationship has so far proven to be rather testing. I will no better next time.
I believe that quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson, originally. It’s truly a beautiful one!
Justin, what a great quote! So many of us never get started with anything due to the fear of failure.
Reminds me of Edison and his 1,000s of failed experiments before he perfected the light bulb.
I think it’s common for us to scare ourselves in irrational ways if we look at a step we can make too much. This is why sometimes, the best thing we can do is decide something and do it without thinking about it anymore.
Eduard, that’s just what we tend to do – when faced with a step that seems too big, we keep dithering and remain undecided.
As you say, the best thing is to just make a decision.
That’s a nice general summary about dealing with different situations we come across in our daily lives. It’s too easy to simply delay Arvind, and then it only becomes more difficult for us.
I reworked a tidy problem solver I once came across.
Calmly gather all the facts.
Describe the problem in detail.
List all the possible solutions.
List the advantages and disadvantages of each.
Detail what to do.
Follow through.
Excellent advice Grampa Ken!
The more we delay difficult situations, the harder it becomes. It is too easy to turn a blnd eye and hope that the “issue” will sort itself out.
I would add one more point to your very helpful lise – get some accountability. By being answerable to someone else who has a vested interest in your well-being, you are most likely to follow through your decision:-
– Calmly gather all the facts.
– Describe the problem in detail.
– List all the possible solutions.
– List the advantages and disadvantages of each.
– Detail what to do.
– Make yourself accountable to someone else
– Follow through.
Thanks again for your input.
I think it depends on the decision. Some decisions lend themselves more to detailed analysis, others are essentially gut-checks. But in my opinion, even the gut check ones require at least a little looking – because most of us have to quiet down and tune in for a bit to get a strong intuitive sense of what truly feels right rather than just being informed by our most superficial/conscious fears and wants.
There are definitely times to just go for it though, and I agree with you that there are major costs to putting off decisions. Like many things, it’s a balance– and a little looking can go a long way, while tons of agonizing and analyzing have hidden costs that many people miss.
Very thought-provoking post!
Theka, you have raised vaild points.
I agree that even the smallest decisions would benefit from checking in with our gut. Our intuition is always there and we only have to learnt to listen to it and trust it.
However the challenge we all face is actually creating that quiet time whereby we can listen in.
At others times, of course we just have to go for it! And I find that on these occassions the decision is so right for us that we are already in tune with gut feeling.
Hi Arvind,
With really hard decisions that seem to take a long time, I think leaping is the only solution. Sometimes you can get paralyzed by the confusion around a decision. The coin toss is actually not a bad solution. Assign one decision to heads and one decision to tails. Then pay attention to the side you hope it will land on as you flip the coin. That’s your intuition speaking. That might be the most clarity you will get! Great post!
Barrie
Barrie, that’s what I call rigged coin flipping. Excellent idea!
We always know what the right decision is for us and tossing a coin as you suggest should make that choice more clear cut.
Reminds me of “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coello where the main character has two stones, black and white, to help him make a decision.
A couple of years ago I watched a wonderful play based on this famous and lifechanging book and the theatre programme was a simple leaflet in a bag of sand and two stones, one black and one white. It was rather quaint and I still have those stones which I occasionally use to help me with my decision making.
Arvind, great post and for me, the heart of your message here is really in your fourth point: see everything as a learning opportunity. I think that many of us fall into the trap of over-analyzing something before taking action. I see this as a prudent way to go when it comes to investing money. There are facts that can be learned and there are penalties for making mistakes. But with committing to take action toward something, it’s a different story. We have to take many little steps before completion and there are many opportunities along the way to re-fashion or tweak or fix the path. Each step we take is a learning opportunity that adds to our growth and leads to how and who we become.
Belinda, thanks for expanding on my fourth point – everything is indeed a learning opportunity, even the knowledge of how we make our decisions.
And yes, I often fall into the same trap of over-analysing (analyzing!) before taking action. What sometimes holds me back is believing that the task is more difficult than it really is.
Or course when it come to things like investing money, jumping in without analysis would be foolhardy.
Ultimately we are all on this amazing life journey and we will take many little steps in my life with ample opprtunities to tweak our path – and since each step is a leaning opportunity, the whole of our life becomes one of growth and development. And in that sense, no matter what decision we ultimately make will be “right” for our journey and for who we are meant to become.
That may sound like I am advocating being fatalistic ie leaving things to happen as they are meant to. But what I am saying is that make a decision, take action and then be at peace that whatever happens after that is indeed the lesson you are meant to learn.
I go by the saying that you only regret the things you don’t do… Everything else is a learning curve
Sheetal, knowing you well now as a friend, that probably means that you have learnt a lot in your life already:-)
Live with no regrets as all the regrets are only in your head. And also one never knows how different or even worse of you might have been if you had indeed done the very things you regret.
So all is well just where you are right now.
I tend to take action versus no action, when it comes to new ideas that I want to explore. So to anwer your question, yes I would rather jump in, with the understanding that it may or may not succeed according to plan. However, this approach to life just seems more exciting and worthwhile for me. Excellent post!
Baker, having read your blog, you definitely come across as someone who takes action rather than dithering.
Life can be so exciting when one just goes for it, throwing caution to the wind!
Hey there, Just a few weeks ago I realized I was grappling with what is known as decisional procrastination – exactly what you are addressing here. Today’s society – especially Western democracy – presents us with so many choices that sometimes we wish that someone would just point us in the right direction. A big concern for perfectionists tends to be the fear of making the wrong decision…we go on shopping and evaluating and what not. Also, check out The Tyranny of Choice, by Barry Schwartz, Scientific American, April 2004 – excellent article! You can find it online. Thanks for sharing your insight, Arvind!
Thanks Manisha for sharing that Scientific American article – I shall certainly check it out.
We all face such a tyranny of choices all around, that if we weren;t able to make rational decisions we would never even leave home!
“Decisional procastrination” – that seems such a daunting proposition – and yet that’s what we all go through so often.
In most cases, it is much better to make a “wrong” decision than to make no decision at all.
Exactly…For me that’s easier said than done, but I’m making strides now that I have recognized the issue. It was a real Aha type moment when that happened a few weeks ago and I’m working on healing what I perceive to be the root causes. One thing I wanted to share here, though, which has to do with the result and not the root cause is that Barry Schwartz’s research shows (in aforementioned article on this string) that the people who need to “shop around” (a lot) tend to be less satisfied with their decision than their counterparts who make a decision as soon as they find something they like that meets their needs. i.e., One’s satisfaction with a decision appears to have some correlation with how long and/or how many choices they have considered. Just something for us all to consider… : )
Oops, I meant, specifically, personal satisfaction/”happiness” appears to have NEGATIVE correlation with length of time/#of choices considered – according to that research of Barry Shwartz…and so that appears to support your point to “leap”, though I do think perhaps it is better to jump feet first, rather than head first….
Yes, Manisha jump feet first rather than head first:-)
I can vouch for that research – I usually make my decisions really quickly, especially when it comes to shopping and I am always happy with my choice.
But my sisters spend hours before deciding and then say how they are not really 100% happy with their choice!
Hey Arvind,
amazing sentiments and something I’ve often shared with my clients often is just to decide. Often they worry so much about making a wrong or right decision. The truth is you can rarely be sure if a decision is going to be the right one, however, just to know that a decision made IS the right one, regardless of the outcome.
Big love
Amit, this is probably the biggest challenge faced by most of coaching clients too – not being able to make a decision!
A lot of coaching is then around helping them explore the pros and cons of taking a certain path and then getting them to proress along that path.
Hi Arvind
It took me ages to learn how to “just do it” and not be so scared of life. There is so much in just making a decision and letting it take you forward as opposed to sitting on the fence which is what I have done so much of in my life. A leap of faith is all that it takes to sometimes make life changing decisions !
Appreciate your work and your sharing, keep it up – its helping me change my life for the better.
Amanda
Amanda, well done for no longer being scared of life and for learning how to just do it!
It must be wonderful to no longer sit on the fence. As you say, all it sometimes takes is a leap of faith to make life changing decisions.
And thanks Amanda for your kind words – I am so glad my articles are helping you change your life for the better. But remember, you are the one who is doing all the good work!
Hi Arvind,
this is my first comment here, although I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for several weeks now!
I agree with you that life is fascinating. As children we often just leap and run ’til we drop, and it sure is a lot of fun as my 3-year old demonstrates almost every day 🙂
Then we grow up and learn to analyse things more, gradually shifting from a “ready, shoot, aim” approach to a more rational “ready, aim, shoot” approach. The problem I’ve experienced there is that it often leads to “paralysis by analysis”. In other words, perfectionism gets in the way of actually making it happen, right?
One way I found particularly useful was to try and rest more in the moment. When you relax your assumptions and expectations, it’s actually surprising how much you find yourself capable of doing, even without planning or deciding consciously. Obviously that’s not going to work for everything, but I think it’s worth experimenting and also part of what makes life and raising kids so beautiful… and challenging!
With love,
Luc
Welcome to my blog, Luc!
Firstly thanks for including the URL for your new blog due to be launched soon – https://www.artoflegacy.com/ – I look forward to reading your work very soon.
Thanks also for sharing your thoughts about children and learning to be in the moment. Your 3 year old has the right idea – just leap and run around till you are ready to drop. So much fun!
The most joy I have nowadays is when I am playing with children – both small or grown-up children.
Children just don’t worry about perfectionism or looking good. Maybe the key is that we shouldn’t grow up!
Learning to be in the moment is probably the most powerful thing one can do for all areas of our life. I am currently re-reading “Power of Now” by Ekhart Tolle and I am seeing everything with new eyes.
Thank you Arvind for this amazing post 🙂
You are totally right about many things. Sometimes we wait and wait and wait and miss out on opportunities. Sometimes, we are stuck in our mental habits, that we can’t seem to find a way to change anything in our lives… As you said, let us decide on what to do and let us move on.
Life is too short to procrastinate, to mourn our life and to worry about our future… Let us enjoy every moment and every breath…
Have a great day.
Zeina 🙂
Zeina, you summed it up beautifully – life is too short.
So it’s time to make the most of it:-)
Leaping in with both feet is difficult for most people, as they will find many reasons if not responsibilities that prevent them.
However, in my experience in running a few businesses, being successful is often a partial function of momentum. Momentum is gained by making decisions and acting upon them, often with seemingly too little information.
But altering a moving vessel’s course is infinitely easier than getting it moving and building momentum in the first place. Thus I agree that “leaping” where others fear to tread has it’s rewards.
Welcome to my blog Rupert and thanks for sharing your personal insights from the world of business.
Gaining momentum is key especially in the cut and throat world of business and as you say so often one has to make decisions with too little information.
The same applies on other areas of our life as rarely will we have enough information to make the “right” decision.
And I love your analogy of the moving vessel’s course being infintely easier to alter than to get it moving in the first place. So the trick is to make a decision and start moving in our chosen direction rather than just sitting on our laurels i.e. the ship still staying in the port.Of course along the way, we can make slight or even large alterations in our chosen course.
As I quoted in the article, don’t wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it.
Congratulations on such a thought-provoking post Arvind.
I often coach people who are having a problem with making a decision. Sometimes it is because they are afraid of making the ‘wrong’ decision. Sometimes they even ask me to give them the answer and I have to explain that only they can come up with the ‘right’ answer for them. You have described many of the helpful strategies beautifully and so have the people leaving other comments.
Sometimes people are afraid to move forward because they have been criticised and even punished for decisions they have made in the past. If this is the case I usually get them to really look at what positive things they learned from that situation so they can move forward.
Thanks Theresa for your kind words.
So often coaching is simply about getting people to make a decision. As you say, they may have become paranoid about making a decision due to past experiences.
Getting them to look at the positive outcomes from the past will certainly help them move forward now. And yet some people are simply not ready to leap yet – in which case as a coach you can just provide them further space to reflect more and then move on.
There is probably nothing like truly developing your self-awareness to help you make decisions faster.
Arvind, thank you once again for your insight. You’re right to point out that indecisiveness and perfectionism cause many missed opportunities. I also agree that the way to overcome the uncertainty of the “leap” is to let our Intuition guide us. I truly believe that your intuitive voice is a direct communication from the power that created the Universe. What better source could we ask for to direct us? The more you allow your intuition to come to the forefront of your awareness the stronger and clearer it becomes.
Angela, yes indeed what better source to direct our lives than the power that create our world?!
Since you are someone who lives their life through their intution, I wonder if you are ever undecided?
I have been developing my own intuition a lot in recent weeks and I am amazed at just how powerful and reliable it is.
OK, so the truth is I haven’t started my blog but I’ve been an avid reader of blogs for a whole year or so HA! Yes …I’m a Johnny come lately, but I got hooked right off. Oh, and I am also the king of run-on sentences none better than I. Well I just wanted to say Hi – HI! – and CONGRATS on your guest post at Zen Habits! WOOT! That is “good for you” in gamer lingo …HA! Have a great week. Rich
Welcome to my blog Rich and thank you for your kind words about getting a guest post at Zen Habits. As you say it has certainly been a very good thing for me:-)
And I look forward to one day reading your blog too.
Those who align with the law of karma and reincarnation will come to realise that the situations and decisions we are faced with in our day-to-day lives are in fact INCREDIBLY mundane!
For endless time we have been through an infinite number of births, and have been faced with simpler, similar, or more complex challenges all this time, again and again and again. We’ve been rulers of all 6 continents and we’ve been monks. We’ve been elephants and we’ve been ants. We’ve been multi-millionaires and we’ve been paupers. In every single moment of every single life, we’ve had to make some kind of decision, nomatter how simple or how complex.
So why do we continue to deliberate over the decisions we are faced with? Why do we spend so much time in worry and stress? What if decision making came from fundamental guiding principles of kindness: friendship (maitri), appreciation (pramod), compassion (karuna) and equanimity (madhyestata)?
From the perspective of the timeless Jain tradition, decision making simply comes down to this: In this present situation, will my thought, speech or action ultimately lead to my eternal freedom, or will it keep me trapped in an endless cycle of suffering through birth and rebirth?
Who am I at my core, and will I either surrender to the downfall caused by personal comforts or will I rise above the mundane circumstances of life and do the right thing?
Suraj, you have raised some excellent points. Thank you.
It’s so true that almost all the situations and decisions we face on a day-to-day level are just so mundane! Decisions like what to eat and what TV station to watch can numbingly boring in the big scheme of things.
If one believes in karma and reincarnation, then the importance or futility of our decision making can be seen in a lighter context.
As you suggest, just how much easier our life (and future lives if you believe in karma and reincarnation) would be, if we based our decision making on the guiding principles of kindness, friendship, appreciation, compassion and equanimity.
Suraj, you have given us a great foundation for leaping ahead or not – base every thought, speech or action on these guiding principles.
Thank you.
Arvind,
Good post here and on Zen!
On the cultural and religious restrictions. They are generally not restrictions, but more like a “consulting service” You go to elders for guidance. You make it sound like they are in the way. I do get the jist of what you are saying. The points for me to take are to not be (or try to be) a perfectionist and to “Just Decide”.
I loved your Article on Zen. I have been a lurker here, but today is the day to comment. Gandhiji is my Idol. I am his devotee, his fan, his humble student. I learn a lot from him. Bapu was simple in life because he was simple at heart. If anyone has not yet read his autobiography (“The story of my experiments with truth”), any day is a great day to start.
Thanks
Thanks for visiting via Zen Habits! My Gandhi article has clearly gone down really well with the ZH readers.
And thanks for choosing today not to be a lurker! I read Gandhi Bapu book “The story of my experiments with truth” many times in my youth and I guess that has impacted and guided me ever since.
I agree about what you say cultural and religious restrictions are generally for guidance, but people get stuck when they use these restrictions as an excuse for being indecisive and not moving forward.
And yes, don’t be a perfections and instead just decide as appropriate.
Hello Arvind,
Great job compiling all the important points and explaining ‘look before you leap’.
I have learned my lessons the hard way. I know often times we have to take decision ‘now or never’ and even the best judgments fail. So, I do analyze the pros and cons but not to long… 🙂 else I may miss opportunity.
I take calculated risk and it is turning out good for me and I have advised also to take calculated risk.
As fear (I mean a type of risk) is also motivation to achieve.
Bye for now,
Cheryl Paris
Cheryl, I like the decision you have made to take calculated risks – that way you are at least moving forward rather than standing still.
So often, she who dares, wins!
Hi Arvind,
The contents are refreshing, very well written, and concise enough to understand. Thank you. As a fellow blogger, I realize just how difficult it is at times to come up with ideas, and to put them on paper – and then realization hit me. If you do something you really love, then the ideas just come out.
Really think this is one of the best blogs I have seen.
Keep it up.
I will keep learning from you 🙂
Thanks Haja for all your kind words.
As you say, if you love what you do, the ideas will come:-)
It is all a journey and a lot of things in life take time to build. And that applies to my blog too – it has taken a while to get it to where it is now.
I wish you well with your own blogging journey – you write really well and I have just re-tweeted your excellent post about building a magnificent life.
Good luck!
yes, perfectionist is desired every people.
this nice post.
thanks
Thanks Agus for visiting.
If there is one thing I could change about me, I would stop being a perfectionist – but then am I being a perfectionist by wanting to stop being a perfectionist?!
I’ve always been one to leap before looking and it’s always worked for me. The older I get the less leaping before looking I do. I need to knock that nonsense off!
Yes. Tess, get back to the leaping before looking school!
Hi Arvind,
I tend to be a leaper. For me, I think what works best is to get a “feel” or sense for whether I am moving in a good direction, and if so I go for it.
On the other hand, I have a good friend and she mulls things over for years prior to taking the action. For example, she thought about getting a new car for a couple years. It was not money that prevented her from moving forward, it was all the thoughts about wanting to choose the right one, etc…She laughs about it.
We human critters really are built differently. I believe, though, that sometimes one can become “paralyzed” by a fear of moving forward into the unknown. It then prevents us from having many great life experiences.
Great topic!
Lauren, you hit it on the head – our fear of moving forward prevents up from having many great life experiences.
Get a feel or sense for whether you are moving in the right direction – and then just leap!
Arvind,
I read this article the day you published it and wrote about it on my blog, but kid being sick, could not really comment properly before. These are good tips, I enjoyed your guest post over at Zen Habits too. Keep up the great work!
ZenGirl, thanks for your kind words – I have been overwhelmed by the support amd appreciation from readers since that ZenHabits guest post last week:-)
Arvind,
This is a great post and I want to compliment you on a wonderful website. I just recently discovered Make It Happen and I am very glad that I did.
Leaping before you look is a very interesting concept. I believe it certainly depends upon the circumstances of the opportunity or matter at hand, and the nature of the “leap.” The circumstances of one’s life may dictate that looking good, hard and long is a necessary prerequisite before leaping; other times, if circumstances allow, one can leap with little repercussion and so the leap can be made quickly and without looking.
But I think the merit in this idea is the espousal of the importance of following one’s “gut,” one’s heart, one’s instinct over what the status quo or convention dictate. In the end, what’s most important is the “leap,” regardless of whether or not one looks or doesn’t look before taking it. 🙂
Dave
DaveUrsillo.com
Dave, welcome to my blog and thanks for your kind words.
Clearly leaping before looking is dependent on the circumstances, but as you say the leap is important, regardless of whether or not one looks before taking it. So often things just work out for the best when has made the decision to go for it.
To quote Nike, just do it!
Hello Arvind,
You have written this so well and thank you for sharing your clarified points with us all. It is something we all have to face up with: sometimes every day in minor things and sometimes the real BIG situations. The quote by Abu Bakr really impressed me – it sums it all. Grampaken’s analysis was also well summarised and worth remembering should one come up against a TOUGH one. I have a question for you: how does one take action when the decision is a shared one and you don’t necessarily agree with the other person? Do you give in, try and convince the other person of your reasoning or stay adamant? Over something trivial it is not worth arguing but when it concerns your future, or a joint financial venture or a personal important investment, what then?
Thanks in advance Arvind for any light you may shed towards a response.
Anne
A lot of the leap vs look has to do with different personalities: some of us are change oriented risk-takers, some are tradition-oriented and risk averse.
As a change-oriented risk taker, I am all about helping people take that big leap to a fabulous new career and life. However I am very glad my accountant is stable and risk-averse 🙂
It takes all sorts, and things get amazing when we draw on each others’ strengths, just when we need them.
Thanks for a great post (and for drawing in such fabulous comments!)
Really liking this post a lot, Arvind, and I think you are “bang-on” for so many people, and maybe I am just going to leap before looking too! We are trained so much, to analyze, weigh out all the options, and research, research, research, and plan, plan, plan, especially in business, and I think you have made some very good points here, which if people would follow, or at least try out, they might experience more freedom and fun in business, and less stress.
– Brenda Johima –
This is so right. I usually tell my clients to just get started and they will get going. Not to worry about perfection. Then you can learn from your mistakes
Kavit
Arvind, thank you – make a decision, just decide, is such a key insight. There is an enormous difference between thinking about deciding and actually deciding. Have you noticed the relief and the surge of energy that empowers you the second you actually decide? It is as if we tap into a source that applauds our courage to decide! Of course things after that may not work out smoothly, or even as we might have envisioned, but the momentum created by our leap into decision propels us into whatever lessons are waiting, and every experience can enrich.
Thanks for another wonderful, insightful post, Arvind. Smiling from the mountains of Japan – Catrien Ross.